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EH NORMMEH

By: fullbodiedanon on Aug 31st, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.65 KB  |  hits: 71  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day EEEUUUGHAAAGH at Equestria High.
  2. >Be Norman.
  3. >It's time for lunch.
  4. >Oh god, it's time for lunch.
  5. >You have to make it to the cafeteria fast.
  6. >You GOTTA get there before THEY do.
  7. >You charge down the hallways, pushing and shoving kids out of the way.
  8. >"Hay, watch it racist!" says some chick.
  9. >FUCK YOU BITCH, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
  10. >You take the final turn.
  11. >Oh thank god, you made it.
  12. >You made it before they got he-
  13. >"EH NORMMEH!" says one of... them.
  14. >No.
  15. >No no no no.
  16. >You were so fucking close.
  17. >SO FUCKING CLOSE!
  18. >"EH NORMMEH! NORMMEH! LOOH WAH AH MAY EHN CLAHS TADAY!"
  19. >Chris shoves a macaroni filled piece of paper at your face.
  20. >Some get stuck to your face, because the glue on the macaroni is still wet.
  21. >You brush it off and wipe your face.
  22. I-it looks great Chris... i'm gonna get in line for lunch now.
  23. >Please don't follow, please don't follow, please don't-
  24. >"ODAY, I CUHM WID!" says Chris.
  25. >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  26. >You feel a bump from your right.
  27. >"Howdy sugarcube, What are you getting for lunch?" asks Applejack.
  28. >You pull her in and whisper in her ear.
  29. Applejack, you have to leave right now, or this will get ugly. Please, just save yourself.
  30. >"Norman, what in the hay are you talking abou-"
  31. >"HAY, AH WAS TALKIN TAH NORMMEH!" screams Chris, right in Applejacks face.
  32. >You get in between Applejack and Chris.
  33. >Applejack looks frightened.
  34. >You would be too if a six foot tard came to you unexpectedly and screamed in your face.
  35. Yo Chris, how about you go sit at the table with your friends?
  36. >"ODAY NORMMEH!" he says hugging you.
  37. >But this isn't some ordinary hug.
  38. >This is a tard hug.
  39. >And it hurts like shit.
  40. >You honestly think he slid one of your disks out of place with that.
  41. >He puts you down and runs off to his table, pushing normal kids out of the way.
  42. >You look at Applejack.
  43. >"Norman, what was that?"
  44. That... was Chris. Apparently he thinks we are friends.
  45. >"Norman, he just came up to me and yelled at me in the face."
  46. Thats what tards do AJ.
  47. >She just looks at the back of the line and then goes back to choosing what she wanted to eat.
  48. >It's not cheese day, but at least its the next best thing.
  49. >meatball day.
  50. >Either get a meatball sandwhich, or get some spaghetti.
  51. >You order both, because you have a high as fuck metabolism.
  52. >When Applejack gets to the front of the line, you pull her in real quick.
  53. Okay, so when we get outside, we gotta cheese it to our normal table. Got it?
  54. >"But what about your food? you have two trays. You sure you can run with all that baggage and not drop anything?"
  55. AJ, i've trained for this my whole life. I got this.
  56. >AJ waits for you outside.
  57. >You pay for your shit, give the lunch lady a nod, and CHEESE IT.
  58. >You and Applejack just fucking sprint.
  59. >You have perfected the art of running with whimsical trays filled with food, so none of your shit is falling off.
  60. >You make it to the group table.
  61. Oh thank god, we made it.
  62. >"I think it's just a little mean that you are running away from him though Norman." says Applejack.
  63. >"Running away from what?" asks Pinkie.
  64. From Tard King Chris.
  65. >"Oh, good going." says Pinkie giving you a high five.
  66. >"Pinkie!" says Applejack shaming Pinkie.
  67. >"What, tards are messed up. They come right up to you and scream at you."
  68. >"You mean like you?" laughs Rainbow Dash.
  69. >Pinkie and Rainbow get in a heated discussion while you start to eat your food.
  70. >Man, you can't wait to sink your teeth into some good fucking meatba-
  71. >"EH NORMMEH! NORMMEH! GEHS WHA!"
  72. >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
  73. What. Is it. Chris?
  74. >"AH JUS MAID AH NOO FREEN! HIS NAME IS... A....A ...ACHOO!"
  75. >....
  76. >He sneezed on your meatball sub.
  77. >He sneezed on your fucking meatball sub.
  78. >Your ficking meatball sub has been sneezed on.
  79. >It's over.
  80. >It's all over.
  81. >"SCUSE MEH, HIS NAME IS... ACHOO!"
  82. >He sneezed on your spaghetti.
  83. >He sneezed on your fucking spaghetti.
  84. >Your spaghetti has been sneezed on.
  85. >Its double over.
  86. >You pick up both of your trays.
  87. >"Norman, it's okay, you can share with m-"
  88. >Before Applejack can say anything, you just dump your sneezed on lunch into the nearby bin, and walk off to the library.
  89. >"N-norman..."
  90. I.... i just gotta go...
  91. >You move past Chris and head towards the library.
  92. >All you can think about is your fucking lunch, just dying in front of you.
  93. >Dead lunch.
  94. >You finally make it to the library door and try and open it.
  95. >...
  96. >Try?
  97. >You push and pull, but the doors do not open.
  98. >The librarian comes out.
  99. >"Oh, sorry Norman, but today is a SE day."
  100. SE? You mean...
  101. >"Yes Norman, special Ed." says the librarian closing the doors.
  102. >You stand for a moment.
  103. >Then fall to your knees.
  104. >You look up raising your fists and begin to shout.
  105. TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!
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