Title: Counselor Cadence Author: fullbodiedanon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/A8MpsYBL First Edit: Monday 26th of August 2013 02:16:23 AM CDT Last Edit: Monday 26th of August 2013 02:16:23 AM CDT >Day "how does this make you feel" at Equestria High. >Be Norman. >You have been sent to the school counselor because your grandma died and the school found out. >It's mandatory. >You hardly even knew your grandma, all you knew about her was that she had some bitchin rock candy in her purse all the time. >All those jolly ranchers. >All those butterscotches. >So you head for the counselors room to get this all over with. >You open the door to see miss Cadence at her desk. >"Oh, hello! You must be Norman. Please sit down!" >Okay. Wow she sure is full of energy. >You sit down and realise she has a jar full of jolly ranchers. >You cant help but eye those motherfuckers down. >"Would you like one?" >Did this woman... just offer you one of HER jolly ranchers? Y-yes please. >"Go ahead. Jolly ranchers are my favorite." >Which one do you pick? >Not really sour apple? >Bombin blue berry? >Sensational strawberry? >Orgasm inducing orange? >You just cant decide. >"Go ahead and take one of each. I dont mind." >You were wrong, she is not a woman at all... she is a goddess. >Principal Celestia never lets you put a finger in her candy jar. >You think vice principal Luna is too shy to ask. Th-thank you... >"So Norman, i heard your grandmother died... i am terribly sorry." I'ts alright.. i mean, i never really got the chance to know her. >"Thats even more terrible!" Yeah, ill i have to know her by was that she was pretty laid back and knew karate. Thats pretty cool though. Karate grandma. >Cadence tries to hold in a giggle. Go ahead. I did just make a joke. >She busts out laughing. >"You're not grieving at all are you?" she asks getting a jolly rancher herself. Well, i mean kinda. She was really nice, i just didn't know her well enough. >"Yeah... i didn't know my grandmother that well either. All i know is that she gave me candy all the time and was pretty nice." That's exactly like my grandma! >You and counselor cadence end up talking well into lunch time. >"Oh my, i cant believe how i lost track of time like that. I guess that talking to you just made me open myself up a bit. I've never met anyone who actually listens to everything i have to say." Really? I was starting to see why you are the school counselor. You sure put a smile on my face today. I was having a bad day because everyone keeps calling me a racist and- >"Excuse me... say that again?" Uh.... you know actually i should get to lunch and- >"Everyone has been calling you racist? Are you the kid i keep hearing about?" >Oh fuck, now the goddess is going to hate you too... Yeah... but i mean- >"You aren't racist." I'm not raci-wha? >"Norman, talking to you, i can tell you aren't racist. Can i ask why they think you are racist?" Silliest thing, my first day of school here, i asked why everyone had different colored skin. I didn't mean it like "man i sure hate all of these blue people." >"You didn't know about the culture here yet did you? Nah... >"Wow... and all of these kids have been calling you racist. Well, how about we go sort this out?" You mean you can fix all of this? >Yes. Why would i let my favorite student here be falsely accused of being a racist?" >She steps up and walks out waving for you to follow her. >You both head up to lunch and stand at the front of the entrance. >"Excuse me everyone, may i have your attention?" asks Cadence. >Everyone turns to look at Cadence and you. >"Hay look! The racist finally got caught! Hue hue hue hue hu-" >"That is why i have come here. Everyone, Norman here is NOT a racist. It seems as though you don't realize that he is a new student here and didn't have a grasp on our culture. He is not a racist, he just didn't know. For now on, please treat him with respect. Say sorry everyone." she says proudly. >Like she knew the job was done. >What she doesn't know is that teenagers are assholes and never give up on what they belie- >"Sorry Norman." >Woah... >Fucking what? >What the fuck just happened? >You look to Cadence. >She is just fucking smiling. Okay, no... what? >"Surprised? I am too a little bit." You mean you didn't think this was going to work either? >"Not at a- wait... you thought this wasn't going to work?" Nope... >"...heheheheh... you know... we have a lot in common Norman..." she says smiling, even bumping your arm. >The rest of the day was pretty lax. >Some people even tried being friendly with you now. >HELL even some girls tried asking for your number. >After the day was done, you went over to Cadence's room again. >"Hay Norman. How was your day? Better i hope." A lot better. Thanks... i mean it. >"Well, i wouldn't want my favorite student here to just have a horrible year." she said packing up and getting ready to leave. Well, i guess i should go home too. >"I'll see you next week Norman." said Cadence. >But not leaving the room without giving you a peck on the forehead. >... >Goddess waifu tier: confirmed. >Action from this point: win her over.