Title:           CUTIE MARK NIGGA CRUSADAHS
Author:          fullbodiedanon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/LjFzn1yB
First Edit:      Wednesday 29th of May 2013 07:40:55 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 29th of May 2013 07:40:55 PM CDT

(ebonics translator yo. its hella phat nigga.)
 
>be applebloom
>yo' basically da leader o' da CMC
>some might think its scoots, but nope.
>this day, yo' going ta git yo' cutiemarks.
>all o' you be.
>"what should we's do this day?" asks sweetie belle.
>"what HAVENT we's tried?" asks scootaloo.
pimpz... you know... we's havent had mr. anon he`p us 'bfoe! maybe he could find us uh way!
>yeah, dis here wuz uh pimp-tight idea!
>"pimp-tight idea applebloom!" said sweetie belle.
>yeah, ah know.
>you an' da CMC head ta anons crib.
>when you git dere, you feel like youve forgotten somethin` very important...
>somethin` 'boutmr. anon, but you cant put yo' hoof on it.
>once you git dere, you knock on his do'.
>*creaaaaaak*
>well... thats creepy.
>"do's open..." says mister anon from inside.
>yeea mister anon, ah can see dat.
>you all step inside an' feel uh chill creep around yo' spine.
shucks mr. anon, how come you all up an' gots yer crib all cold an' such?
>"ah like da cold. uh lot bettah than it being hot in muh motha fuckin opinion." he said.
>his voice wuz coming from da kitchen.
>"you know, ah should really git dat lock fixed, anyone could just barge on in like you all just did." >but he said da do' wuz ope- oooooh... he wuz being sarcastic.
>but, we's didnt know da lock wuz broken... maybe hes just always grumpy.
>sis always says his temper gets da bettah o' him sometimes.
>"so why you fillies here? wants some chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles or somethin`?"
nah, we's came ta see if you could-
>"COULD he`p US git OUR CUTIE MARKS!" interrupts scootaloo.
>what uh flank hole.
>"ah. figured id be hit up like dis here sooner or later... hmmmm.... awww!"
you gots an idear mr. anon?
>"why yeea .... ah do...."
>why did dat sound creepy?
>soon enough, yo' answer iz given ta you.
>anon peeps his head around da corner.
>he has uh really wide smile dat comes across as... well fine ass daaaaaaammm creepy.
>"ah know how you beotches can git yo' cutiemarks..."
>soon you begin ta realize dat uh mass o' tentacles... nahh... wait...
>awww CELESTIA, YOU REMEMBER!
>anon... anon himself wuz okay an' all.... but... but... he had....
>MINGERS
>soon you an' yo' niggas an' you be backed up into uh corner
>quick... you need ta do somethin` 'bfoe he gets you wif his mingers...
>....
SCOOTALOO dis here wuz YER WORST IDEAR YET!
>"wha-"
>'bfoe she could say anythin`... you wuz all ensnared in his mingers.
>only darkness followed.
>.... >you mus' be wondering... "why iz da story still going along?"
>well...
>we's ova reacted...
>okay... AH ova reacted.
>turns out anon wuz gonna teach us how ta make chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles an' sheeit.
>you an' da CMC gots yo' cutiemarks in cooking
>weird... hadnt yall already done dis here?
>awww well, you all git ta rub yo' flanks in diamond tiara an' silver spoons faces.
>this day wuz uh pimp-tight day you reckon in the hood.
>fo sho nigga