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Anon in Ooo 19- what the heart wants

By: fullbodiedanon on Feb 25th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.38 KB  |  hits: 59  |  expires: Never
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  1. ???: ah, i see you are finally starting to wake.
  2.  
  3. >.... george takei?
  4.  
  5. ???: what?
  6.  
  7. >you sound like george takei.
  8.  
  9. ???: i dont know who this takei fellow is, but i am certainly not him.
  10.  
  11. you look around and find yourself barred against a metal slab.
  12.  
  13. >huh, well that suck. it would have been much cooler if george takei kidnapped me.
  14.  
  15. ricardio: enough of this foolishness. i am ricardio.
  16.  
  17. >nice voice man. thats like 10 points on the coolness level. but kidnapping me subtracts 7 points, so you are kind of low on the cool latter.
  18.  
  19. ricardio: there is no such thing.
  20.  
  21. >now there is.
  22.  
  23. he huffs. guess he cant take being messed with. well that isnt going to get him anywhere with a hero. they would just piss him off too easily.
  24.  
  25. >so... heart guy...
  26.  
  27. ricardio: correction- ricardio.
  28.  
  29. >yeah, heart guy. whats up with this stuff you got me hooked up to?
  30.  
  31. ricardio: ah, yes. that is an apparatus i have made to steel your emotions.
  32.  
  33. >my feels? dont steel those. i need those.
  34.  
  35. ricardio: i beg your pardon?
  36.  
  37. >feels? eh, its hard to explain to someone of your level of cool factor... you know... since you are only at level 3.
  38.  
  39. ricardio: hmmph. fine, i didnt want to know anyway.
  40.  
  41. is this guy a fucking tsudere? wow. just imagining george takei talking like a tsundere to me is pretty damn kawaii.
  42.  
  43. >so, you are steeling my feels why?
  44.  
  45. ricardio: yes, i have this apparatus set to you so i can steel your emotions that way i may finally gain the love of my precious, princess bubblegum.
  46.  
  47. >sooooo... youre steeling my feels so bonny will like you? weak.
  48.  
  49. ricardio: how dare you speak her name!
  50.  
  51. he slaps you in the face but it doesnt hurt.
  52.  
  53. >yeah... um, that didnt hurt. and now i am breaking out of here. hhhhng!
  54.  
  55. wait...
  56.  
  57. >hng?
  58.  
  59. ricardio: ah yes. i neglected to tell you i paralyzed you.
  60.  
  61. >woah woah woah. you made me-
  62.  
  63. ricardio: oh heavens no. im evil but i am not inhuman. i simply administered some high doses of paralysis agent. you wont be able to get out of this. ive done my research on you anonymous.
  64.  
  65. >ah. thats 1 more point on the cool latter. you are now at level 4.
  66.  
  67. ricardio: that has little meaning to me.
  68.  
  69. >so...
  70.  
  71. ricardio: let us begin shall we?
  72.  
  73. >what makes you think bonny will like you just because you got feels?
  74.  
  75. he slaps you again.
  76.  
  77. >like i said, didnt feel that. now back to the question.
  78.  
  79. ricardio: i witnessed that she has high regards to emotions that you posses.
  80.  
  81. >hmmm....
  82.  
  83. ricardio: by taking these emotions, i will gain her love. simple as that.
  84.  
  85. >i dont think its that simple heart guy.
  86.  
  87. ricardio: correctio-
  88.  
  89. >no. no correction needed. this is your name to me. heart guy.
  90.  
  91. ricardio gives you this fucking look like "you... MOTHERFUCKER!"
  92.  
  93. ricardio: beginning emotion drain.
  94.  
  95. worth it.
  96.  
  97. a needle gets awfully close to your heart OH MY GOD FUCK THAT!
  98.  
  99. >THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MAN?
  100.  
  101. ricardio: "steeling your feels". like i said i would.
  102.  
  103. >NO, YOUR FUCKING DOING OPEN HEART SURGERY!
  104.  
  105. ricardio: open heart surger- anonymous your chest cavity is not even open.
  106.  
  107. >THERE IS A FUCKING NEEDLE ABOUT TO HIT MY HEART YOU DUMB ASS!
  108.  
  109. ricardio: excuse me, i have a fine degree in-
  110.  
  111. >OW FUCK!
  112.  
  113. ricardio: hm... maybe the dosage was not high enough. at least you arent able to move.
  114.  
  115. >GET THIS SHIT OUTTA ME YOU FUCKING CIRCULATORY PIECE OF SHIT!
  116.  
  117. ricardio: oooh myyy.
  118.  
  119. okay that was pretty cool to hear BUT YOU GOT A FUCKING HUGE ASS NEEDLE IN YOUR HEART!
  120.  
  121. ricardio: and draining begins.
  122.  
  123. you feel silent. you couldnt even whimper with the amount of pain this thing was causing you now.
  124.  
  125. it felt like a fucking rhino with a serrated lazer horn was preforming an abortion on your heart.
  126.  
  127. soon the pain turned to numbness.
  128.  
  129. still, you could not speak.
  130.  
  131. is having your emotions being sucked out of you doing this?
  132.  
  133. ricardio: ah. it is complete. now for my injection.
  134.  
  135. he takes a vile full of rainbow looking stuff off of the needle that took it.
  136.  
  137. ricardio: beautiful anonymous. you have so many emotions. more than i would have thought to have.
  138.  
  139. he places it into a different slot in a different machine.
  140.  
  141. ricardio: you see, i needed human emotions anonymous.
  142.  
  143. he lays down on a slab next to mine.
  144.  
  145. ricardio: i thought about using finn as a subject for this, but i realized something. you were older and must have more emotions that you developed over the years. i would have even chose the ice king, but sadly, i am his heart, and i cant just take emotions from myself, i would end up like you anonymous.
  146.  
  147. i see.
  148.  
  149. ricardio: ah, soon i will have your emotions anonymous, and you will become nothing more than a common potato... metaphorically of course.
  150.  
  151. another needle stabs ricardio to which he grimaces as much as i did when it happened to me.
  152.  
  153. the needle filled him up with the emotions he had taken from me.
  154.  
  155. ricardio: ahhhhhhh. this feels amazing. i have more stronger and faster beats than i usually do.
  156.  
  157. ricardio looks at you with a smile you could compare to the word "smug".
  158.  
  159. his smile is fading.
  160.  
  161. ricardio: oh my... what have i done?
  162.  
  163. you see him as he begins to beat harder and harder.
  164.  
  165. ricardio: i never realized i would feel such things. your emotions. i thought they would become mine, but they are still yours. i see now everything you have gone though up till now. loosing your family, all the adventures and troubles you have had with your friends here, and the meeting with the distortions queen. anonymous i have made the greatest mistake. i must correct this. when you awake, you will be back home. i am, truely, TRUELY sorry.
  166.  
  167. he puts some type of mask over you and you begin to fall asleep.
  168. -------------------------
  169.  
  170. >AH!
  171.  
  172. you just woke up.
  173.  
  174. >where is that faggot? im gonna rip his heart ou- im gonna turn him inside out!
  175.  
  176. you look around to find yourself in bed with a note on your chest.
  177.  
  178. "dear anonymous,
  179.  
  180. i have given you back all your "feels". when i had them inside me, i could see that they would not be MINE. so i must find another way of gaining the love of princess bubblegum. you are very lucky. i could have just killed you afterwords, but the transfer left a bit of an after taste of moral obligation.
  181.  
  182. ricardio."
  183.  
  184. you look around and SEE THAT FUCKER OUTSIDE!
  185.  
  186. he must notice all the fucking hate you have in your eyes because just before he tries to high tail it he says "oh my."
  187.  
  188. you chase after that fucker and pin him to the ground.
  189.  
  190. >now its my turn to play doctor you george takei sounding douchebag.