Anon in Ooo 18- reality court

cosmic owl: okay, things are starting to get bunked up in a lot of universes now, the heck is goin on prismo?

 

prismo: dont look at me. i havent granted anyone wishes since those neat dudes came here.

 

cosmic owl: so if its not you, then what? there is a mass amount of distortional energy surrounding every universe!

 

prismo: oh gees. ever universe?

 

cosmic: every. universe. i woke up this morning and checked my calendar, and it was supposed to be my day off right?

 

prismo: yeah, and?

 

cosmic owl: well yeah, it was supposed to be my day off, but instead, on my calendar, it said "call council".

 

prismo: oh man, really? we havent had a council meeting in like.... weve only had one council meeting.

 

cosmic owl: just shut up and call death, this is probably affecting him too.

 

death: already here. checked my calendar. supposed to be my day off. now whats all this about distortional energy?

 

cosmic owl: thats the thing we are trying to find out.

 

death: well, usually these things are easy to solve, we just need to track down the very first distortion.

 

prismo: huh.... but arent there an infinite amount now?

 

cosmic owl: *sigh* fine... i guess i have to be the one to do this. be right back....

 

prismo: ........ soooooooo... death... hows.... making people die going?

 

death: eh. its alright. hows lazing about going for you?

 

prismo: oh, wunderbar! though my mom keeps telling me i should get out of my house more. im all like "mom, i bought this house for a reason, i can do what ever i want in it."

 

death: dont get me started on how my mom acts.

 

cosmic owl: okay, im back. we talking about moms in here?

 

death: enough of that, what did you find out?

 

cosmic owl: well, it seems that the only distortion that could be linked to all of this.... was when anonymous came into ooo.

 

death: i see. he has been off my list like he has been immortal. perhaps the distortion even goes that far.

 

prismo: whos this... anonimouse?

 

cosmic owl: anonymous. from what i checked, hes friends with finn and jake.

 

prismo: oh man, hes friends with jake? nice. wait... not nice, hes causing the distortions?

 

death: its only logical to assume. from what you have told us owl, i am guessing that after anon came to ooo, the distortions started?

 

cosmic owl: yes and no.

 

death: ... explain.

 

cosmic owl: well, when he came here, of course there was distortion, but it was tiny, it couldnt have harmed anything at all.

 

prismo: whew. good. now we can all go about our own days and relax and junk.

 

cosmic owl: not so fast prismo. he still might have caused it. i checked further and it seems as though anonymous had just gone through a fixed point in time.

 

prismo: number one or number 2?

 

cosmic owl: number two.

 

prismo: ew. gross. how big was it? did it get flushed?

 

cosmic owl: it spanned out for as long as 24 hours. and yeah, it got flushed.

 

prismo: now thats actually kind of impressive.... still gross though.

 

death: a fixed point in time eh? was it when his back got injured again?

 

cosmic owl: yep. howed you kn- nevermind, your just gonna say something like "because im death" and stuff.

 

death: well its true. i am.

 

prismo: so... anon caused it, but he didnt?

 

cosmic owl: i cant link the distortions to anything else.

 

death:well there is one other person we can link this to.

 

cosmic owl: what? wait are you talking abou- no. there isnt any way that could happen. dont you remember what we did to stop that person?

 

death: yeah, but that person could be another possibility.

 

prismo: who are we talking about?

 

cosmic owl: prismo, what was the last meeting about?

 

prismo: i dont see how that has anything to do with some perso-OOOOOOOH. i get it now. yeah im with you cosmo. there aint no way out of that jail we made for.... um...

 

cosmic owl: that person.

 

death: im only saying it is another possibility.

 

cosmic owl: a possibility that could never happen.

 

death: *sigh*... fine. but we cant just blame this all on the wielder of the sword of great will.

 

prismo: oh man. anonimouse is the wielder? we havent had a wielder in like... fifteen mega sykes.

 

cosmic owl: it hasnt been that long, and his name is anonymous.

 

death: my point still stands.

 

cosmic owl: listen, we got no other choice. either the distortions start to fade away, or we gotta pin point it onto a living being that started it. you know the rules.

 

prismo: soooo.... um... reality court?

 

cosmic owl: *sigh* reality court.

 

prismo: oh sweet! i get to wear my poofy judge wig again, lemme go look for that thing.

 

death: are we sure we want to go through with thi-

 

prismo: found it. man this thing is dusty. its like a reverse duster now. can you imagine that? a reverse duster? i can.

 

death: ... are we sure we want to go through with this? it could have dire consequences. like prismo said, we havent had a wielder in a very long time.

 

cosmic owl: just summon the reality jury.

 

death: fine... but i warned you cosmic owl.

 

cosmic owl: oh stop being all cryptic and just do your dang job.

 

death: oh be quiet, im doin it im doin it.

 

cosmic owl: ill be back prismo. i need to go get anonymous. go ahead and set up court.

 

prismo: are you kidding? its been set up ever since you said reality court.

----------------------------

 

>ill tell you all tomorrow, for now i want to sleep. ive been awake for 24 hours.

 

bubblegum: alright an-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

 

... she just stopped. everyone did.

 

>OH WHAT FUCKIN NOW?

 

cosmic owl: i am the cosmic owl, and you have been called to trialed by  reality court!

 

>.... what?

 

cosmic owl: get over here!

----------------

 

cosmic owl: welcome to reality court you distortionalist!

 

prismo: *gasp* cosmo!

 

cosmic owl: what, he is!

 

prismo: i also remember in the last meeting we had, that we banned all hate against distortionalists. its not their fault. they were born that way man.

 

>what the hell is going on?

 

prismo: well anonimouse-

 

cosmic owl: anonymous.

 

prismo: *sigh* i am never going to remember that, do you got a nick name or somthing?

 

>anon....

 

prismo: well anon, this is reality court, and you are going to be trialed for the distortional happenings around every universe.

 

>what?

 

prismo: yeah, it seems like youve made quite a mess ever since you got in ooo, so now you are on trial to see if you are guilty or not.

 

cosmic owl: yo death, you got the jury yet?

 

death: i JUST got here, gosh.

 

jury: RABBLERABBLERABBLE!

 

prismo: hahah! gets me every time. *sigh* alright... enough of that. order in the reality court.

 

>who are you all? i mean, i can get that you are death, but...

 

cosmic owl: im the cosmic owl.... im basically like... all universes.

 

prismo: and im prismo. i grant wishes.

 

>and im here because....

 

cosmic owl: we have reason to believe that you are the cause of all the distortions that have been happening. its bunking up all my universes man, stop it.

 

>what? no, i just got my back hurt and then a fixed point in time happened.

 

prismo: ewwwww.

 

>what?

 

cosmic owl: those are referred to as reality turds to prismo.

 

prismo: your lucky it got flushed bro, or else you would still be going through it right now.

 

you have no idea what these guys are talking about.

 

>listen, i didnt start any of this.

 

cosmic owl: we will let the jury decide that.

 

prismo: reality court is now in session, judge prismo residing.

 

>oh come on, i just got back.

 

prismo: order.

 

>*sigh*

 

this is the most bull shit moment in all of history.

 

prismo: oh wait, hold up. this guy needs a lawyer. well pick somebody guy.

 

>wait, what?

 

cosmic owl: in reality court, you can call upon anyone to be your lawyer.

 

>... princess bubblegum.

 

cosmic owl: oh, nice choice.

 

bubblegum: o-o-o-n.... wait... what?

 

>reality court apparently. and you are my lawyer.

 

bubblegum: anon, what the lettuce happened in that fixed point of time.

 

>i just went around a whole bunch or alternate universes switching bodies with other anons and finaly getting back to ooo. thats it.

 

bubblegum: well then, we wont have much of a trial then. your honor, i would like to call to the stand, anonymous.

 

>oh my god... really?

 

bubblegum: im trying to get you proven not guilty anon, just do it.

 

>fine. but if i get sent to the reality stake, or the reality gallows, or the reality guillotine, or the reality-

 

bubblegum: anonymous.

 

>i get it, i get it.

 

you make your way to the stand.

 

bubblegum: anonymous, what exactly happened in your fixed point in time?

 

>well, like i said, i just kept hopping universes and switching bodies with other me's.

 

bubblegum: and in these other universes, would you say there were distortions?

 

>what do you mean?

 

bubblegum: do you see your honor, anonymous does not even know the true nature of a distortion, less even understand its meaning in this case.

 

prismo: ah. i see.

 

cosmic owl: objection, your honor, anonymouse knows the definition of distortion, and that makes him eligible to be a distortionalist.

 

prismo: thats true too. it seems we have conflicting evidence on both accounts.

 

cosmic owl: my turn lady.

 

bubblegum: hmph.

 

cosmic owl: anonymous. it says here that you were gone for a total of 24 hours in that fixed point of time.

 

prismo: seriously, thats impressive, but still nasty.

 

>yeah, apparently it covered a whole week in my universe though.

 

cosmic owl: that is true, but there is one small thing about this piece of evidence. its that you cant be traced for the last five hours of the fixed point in time.

 

the last five hours.... i was in that white world.

 

cosmic owl: how do you explain this anonymous?

 

>the last five hours i was in a blank space. completely white. and....

 

cosmic owl: and?

 

>... and someone talked to me. they said that i would be getting closer to being where they are and living there for eternity.

 

bubblegum: *gasp*

 

cosmic owl: and who was this person?

 

>...thats-

 

cosmic owl: you dont want to tell us? is there something you are trying to hide anonymous? i rest my case.

----------------------

 

the court lasted what felt like days.... because it did. luckily there were recess spans that lasted about a day so you could sleep.

 

bubblegum was busting her ass trying to prove you innocent while some all knowing space owl was trying to see you proven guilty.

 

you should have just said it was your imaginary friend right when he asked you.

 

prismo: back in session.

 

thats another thing, you could be doing anything, but after the court was called back in session, BAM, you were sent there.

 

prismo: this shall be the last session, for my council has called upon the order proclamation.

 

bubblegum: but we have only been here a week, surly that is going too fa-

 

prismo: order in the court.

 

cosmic owl: i call anonymous to the stand.

 

you get up there.

 

cosmic owl: anonymous... im going to ask this only once. do you know what happened? this will be the only chance you have to speak for yourself.

 

>yeah, i do. i even know how i got to ooo now.

 

prismo: the jury is listening anon.

 

>back when ooo was called earth, i had an imaginary friend. she was a queen and i would go on quests to save her.

 

cosmic owl: oh objection, your honor he is just rambling.

 

prismo: over ruled. i want to hear this.

 

cosmic owl: what? oh come o-

 

prismo: order.

 

cosmic owl: *rassem frassem*...

 

> the day i came to ooo was the day humanity found dark magic. well, that imaginary friend i had used that magic as a loophole to get me to ooo. im guessing soon after the mushroom war happened and earth became ooo.

 

cosmic owl: what are you getting at anon?

 

>that queen i would save all the time... her name was...

 

cosmic owl: .... oh. no. no. no. no way. bunk that, bunk that.

 

>distortion queen.

 

death: HAH! called it!

 

cosmic owl: lalalalalalalalalala im not hearing this.

 

prismo: well jury?

 

jury: rabble rabble.... rabble rabble.

 

prismo: hah. every time. alright anon your not guilty.

 

you were then all put in a box room together, this time without the jury which just seemed to be a mass blob of stuff.

 

cosmic owl: so then..... sorry about blaming it on you anon. its just that there was a 0% chance of... that person breaking the reality jail we had her in.

 

>is it real, butt pounding reality jail?

 

prismo: no, we had to send her to a new one. she was the only one there. but we did consider putting her in butt pounding reality jail.

 

cosmic owl: so she used a loophole on earth to get out. it must have taken her litterally forever to get enough distortion energy just to be able to scratch the barrior we had on her.

 

>thats what she told me.

 

actually, she screamed it at you.

 

bubblegum: i dont understand, who is the distortion queen?

 

cosmic owl: ugh, dont say her name!

 

pismo: basically she was one of us, but she would create distortions around... well... everywhere. at some point we found out she fell in love with a mortal and made astral contact with them. that is illegal here, so we put her on reality court.

 

death: man she can scream.

 

>tell me about it.

 

cosmic owl: anyway, that bit about her using the loophole. she did it to get you to ooo, right anon?

 

>yeah. said it was to get me closer.

 

cosmic owl: she must be building more distortional energy to finally get you then.

 

prismo: oh man, your the one she had a crush on anon.

 

death: "dear diary, today i saw him again, he was so cute." oh man, she had a shota complex.

 

cosmic owl: that explains a lot actually.

 

prismo: well, i guess we are all done here.

 

cosmic owl: not exactly.

 

>what now?

 

cosmic owl: anonymous, there are still distortions happening. we are going to have to send an agent to at least fix a major one later down the line. anonymous, if you ever feels like you are being pulled into another universe, give us a call.... gosh, this means we are going to have to set up another reality jail, this time with no loop holes... i told you we should have gone over that contract one more time death.

 

death: oh shut up and send these two back, im sure they are both tired of us all yammering.

 

prismo: oh, oh, before you go anonymous, tell jake i said hi.

---------------

 

... youre back in the hospitable...

 

bubblegum: well then... anonymous i think it would be a good idea if we both had our rest now.

 

finn: what?

 

>oh, jake, prismo says hi.

 

jake: what?