Anon in Ooo 14- bro quest

>i dont know ice king... didnt you say that place was only meant for wizards?

 

ice king: dont worry man. they said ihad to take a bro for some initiation thing.

 

>are you sure thats what they said?

 

ice king: well, they said i had to take a non-wizzy, so i thought "who else to take but mah bro?"

 

>thats sweet and all but im still not sure.

 

ice king: coooome ooooon... just this once? please?

 

ugh... those eyes... cant.... fight them...

 

>fine....

 

ice king fist pumps in the air.

 

awhile ago, ice king came to you saying he needed help with his initiation into a wizard club or something. he said that all he needed was for you to come with to do... something. he wasnt so sure on that part.

 

ice king picks you up and you both fly in the air. you go over some mountains and shit and fly through a invisible barrier thingy.

 

>soooo... do you know what we are gonna do?

 

ice king: not at all. they dont tell me stuff because im not a full fledged member. but after this ill be one!

 

flying over everything you spot wizards and witches everywhere doing wizard and witch stuff. there is a bizzar in the center of the place.

 

ice king: releasing anon bomb. pshhhh.

 

ice king drops you below and you land on your feet.

 

>kabooooom.

 

ice king: hahahaha. alright, back to business. through this door is the thing i was talking about.

 

>you mean the wizard club

 

ice king: shhhhh. wiz biz.

 

>oh yeah... sorry.

 

its just that you supposedly took me through a secret barrier that only wizards are supposed to know about.

 

ice king opens the door and you head on through.

 

ice king; yo. anybody here? ice king in the house. i got mah bro. am i apart of the club yet?

 

im glad to see that ice king does extra curricular activities.

 

wizard dude: you have brought the subject. yes... let us begin.

 

ice king: subject?

 

yeah, what?

 

other wizard: we told you to bring a non-wizzy so we could cast a rage spell on them, enough for them to burn out and power us. remember.

 

>BRO!

 

ice king: so thats the part im forgetting. well i cant just let you cast that kind of spell on my bro....i mean hes my bro. you see we are turbros. turbo bros.

 

wizard dude: i too had a turbro once... he saved my life countless times.

 

ice king: thats nice.

 

wizard dude: i cast the rage spell on him so i could harvest his strength for myself.

 

>thats not nice.

 

other wizard: silence non-wizzy.

 

wizard dude: trapicus imobulace!

 

he sends some kind of spell that you arent able to dodge. it traps you pretty good. you cant break free no matter how hard you pull or push.

 

other wizard: ragentus wrathoundus!

------------

 

ice kings pov-

 

theyre shooting at your bro! you better do something about that!

 

>ZAP!

 

you shoot some ice lightning at them. you freeze one of them on spot, but then the other one is half frozen.

 

other wizard: you idiot! now hes gonna kill all of us!

 

anon: no.... im just gonna kill you and the other guy!

 

anon has his sword? where the heck did that come from?

 

other wizard: wait! if you let me go, ill tell you how to take off the rage spell!

 

anon dtops his sword from lobbing off the guys head at just the last second.

 

anon: go on... while i still have patients.

 

other wizard: huntress wizard. she knows this place that can cure you. just go find her. now please let me go.

 

anon: no.... ill let you stay alive, but im not going to let you free.

 

anon gets close to the guy.

 

anon: if you so much as take a step out of this place, i swear ill cut your skin off with surgical precision.

 

other wizard: okay... thanks...

 

... man... anons mad.

 

you feel kind of guilty for this. you got your bro all messed up now.

 

he looks at you.

 

>i... im sorry bro.

 

anon: if you had JUST REMEMBERED ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE EVEN OCCURRED!!!

 

you take a step back, your bro is messed up bad.

 

anon:..... im sorry... thats not me talking... YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!! im sorry.

 

oh man, hes trying to fight it... what did that guy say? we need to find someone.... huntress wizard.

 

>come on bro. lets go find that dame.

----------------

 

you lead anon to were you normally find huntress wizard... but... she isnt here.

 

>yo hunty. hunty where are you? i need your help! this is so weird, i usually find her here.

 

huntress: you do not find me. i find you.

 

oh, shes deep.

 

anon: cowardly bitch.

 

>WOAH.... anon, its starting to make you use old curses now.

 

huntress: did he just call me a cowardly female dog? strange insult.

 

anon: would it have been better if i called you a cunt? then it would have been a alteration.

 

huntress wizard aims for anons head.

 

>woah woah woah woah woah!!! hes been cursed. he talks like that but he doesnt mean it, i swear. anon has a huge heart. i swear.

 

anon: hah.... gaaaaay!

 

>oh come on bro.

 

i mean really, was that necessary?

 

huntress wizard looks him over.

 

huntress: ill do it... because i can see he has the sword of great will. ive only heard tales of its owners. if he is the owner of the blade, it is my duty to help him.

 

>what?

 

huntress: throughout the ages, huntress wizards like myself were originally given the task of being the guardian of the owner of that blade. what is his name ice king?

 

> br- woops... his names anon.

 

anon: its anonymous to you worm.

 

>brooooooo...

 

huntress: anonymous.... the wielder of the sword of great will... i shall help you regain your true self. we must hurry though, we do not have much time.

----------------

 

so hunty has been leading you and anon up a large hill now for quite some time. anon is starting to get antsy.

 

anon: BRING ME SOMETHING TO KILL OR I WILL END YOU BOTH!!!

 

huntress: i shall lure a dear my lord.

 

>oh, dont worry. im not hungry right now.

 

huntress: i was talking to lord anonymous.

 

anon: dont do that... its not m- YOU HEARTLESS WITCH! MAKING ME KILL AN INNOCENT ANIMAL!

 

>he trys to fight it, but the other side keeps coming back. how much further?

 

huntress: he havent even begun the journey ice king.

 

>WHAT?! we just walked about 9 miles!

 

huntress: that was to get out of wizard city and to assure that anonymous would have the safest way out.

 

anon: speed up the pace! sprint if you need to! your slow and incompetent!

 

>bro your going to far, shes trying her best.

 

huntress: i will do better.

 

anon: you guys, its not m- STOP TALKING AND GO!

 

you and huntress wizard turn your heads forwards from his command. his commands are just so overpowering. anon would make a great king if he wasnt being cursed right now.

 

huntress wizard: our first task is to find a bug-

 

>found one! and it dances! look at this jig!

 

you hold out the bug to anon.

 

anon: this bug only knows one jig. it is a disgrace to all of its kind who know at least 7 in larva state.

 

the bug gets depressed and falls off your hand. its almost as if it was trying to commit suicide... but it cant because its a bug, and bugs have exoskeletons.

 

huntress: as i was saying, we need to find a bug called the lava duner. it burrows deep into the ground, searching for lava to feed apon. it comes out at this time of day, but we must be careful, for the holes it comes out of shoot lava.

 

>ouchies.

 

anon: you will be scorched if i say so, now move onward coward.

---------------

 

anons pov-

 

you dont mean anything that you are saying or doing. it just feels like there is another part of yourself controlling you at this point. the slightest agrivation turns into pure rage.

 

you feel so sorry for both of them having to put up with that faggot. if you was ice king, you would have slapped him by now.

 

>over there. next time look were you are going, else we find someone better for the job.

 

huntress: sorry my lord.

 

ugh... once you get yourself back, you have to apologize hardcore to her and ice king.

 

ice king: how you holding up bro?

 

oh im just fine really...

 

>your too slow to be on this journey, head back fool.

 

seriously, shut up douche

 

well... your talking to yourself right now though...

 

hes still acting like a total douche though.

 

as you all head forward, you finally see the bug crawling out of the ground with lava shooting out from the hole it dug out of.

 

huntress: we must be careful, for if we pick own that is about to give birth- which most of these do once coming out of the ground- it will erupt fire onto us.

 

icee king: what if i just freeze all of em? you know... zap?

 

that would work.

 

huntress: no, they must stay the same temperature as when they got outside or else they will die. we need a live one.

 

oh... that wouldnt work.

 

>your soooo smart ice king, come up with more plans.

 

ice king: oh shucks anon.

 

i think he didnt catch the sarcasm.

 

huntress: lord, with your favor, will you allow me to take your jacket?

 

>take everything else why dont you? you are thieving scum after all.

 

fucking douche ass mother fucker.

 

you hand your hoodie over to huntress wizard and she waits.

 

ice king: what are you doing?

 

huntress: i have to wait to find one that isnt about to give birth.

 

watching her stare into the mass of bugs, you could tell she knew exactly what she was doing.

 

huntress: found one.

 

she quickly snatches one of the lava bugs and ties your hoodie in a way to where it couldnt get out.

 

ice king: wooh! how many more steps do we have left?

 

huntress: we require two more things. i will need one of your penguins ice king.

 

ice king: what?! no!

 

huntress: you imply i tend to kill it.

 

ice king: im not gonna let you kill one of my....pen...guins.... well what are you gonna do with it?

 

huntress: i need some eggs. at least 3.

 

ice king: oh.... well thats okay then.

 

yeah, that doesnt seem so ba-

 

>AAAUUUUGH! MY EYES!

 

fuck! whats going on?!

 

huntress: we must hurry, the second faze has already happened.

 

ice king: what happened?

 

huntress: he literally went blind with rage.

------------------

 

ugh.... this is terrible... your fucking blind, and-

 

>this is insulting, having to be lead on like a child.

 

huntress: i am sorry my lord, but i can tell that you would not adapt to being blind so easily.

 

>i would smite you for saying that if i still had sight.

 

ice king: okay bro, were here.

 

good, now we just need some eggs.

 

huntress: now we just need double yolk eggs.

 

....

 

>ice king.... how rare are double yolk eggs for your penguins?

 

ice king: well... id say only geanter lays double yolk eggs. why?

 

>fffffffffffffffffffff-

 

oh god...

 

>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

 

everyone find cover!!!

 

>FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

----------------

 

okay so they got the eggs, and their ears have stopped bleeding hopefully.

 

ice king: whats the last thing we need?

 

huntress: we need to go to a grand mixxer, and give her a strand of his hair. once she gets all of it mixed together, he will be back to normal.

 

>HURRY BEFORE I SLAUGHTER THE BOTH OF YOU!!!

 

you dont know how much longer you can hold off this.

 

huntress wizard holds your hand yet again and she begins to lead you forward.

 

>fuck that.

 

you pick her up in your arms.

 

huntress: l-lord...

 

>be my eyes and tell me where to go, i am impatient and have no time to be held asa child. now start!

 

you go full throttle sprint mode. where your going, only huntress and ice king know.

 

huntress: take a left now!

 

you curve with all your might while still retaining your speed.

 

huntress: trees! jump high!

 

you dont know how much force you really need but you jump with all your might.

 

ice king: woah... you dont need to jump this high bro. you already vaulted the trees.

 

huntress: we will need for you to make a quick left when you hit ground my lord.

 

>ONLY ONE NEEDS TO BE TALKING TO ME, AND IT NEEDS TO BE THE ONE GIVING ME DIRECTIONS!

 

once you hit the ground you make a quick left and wait for more directions.

 

huntress: stop my lord, we are here.

 

>finally, lead me in before i- AAAAAUUUUGH!!!! IM.... GONNA.... KILL.... YOU...

 

i cant think straight anymore.

 

i can barely breath.

 

you can feel yourself being tugged on and yourself swinging your blade.... and then you just stop.

 

why arent you moving?

 

witch: oh, its this guy again.... you both are lucky i got him before he got you. rage spell?

 

ice king: rage spell.

 

witch: well then, i believe you have all the ingredients?

 

you hear some rustling coming from where you think huntress wizard is. maybe she is showing the ingredients.

 

witch: well then...

 

*pluck*

 

>AAAAGH!

 

witch: oh shut up. that didnt hurt and you know it. now gimme your clothes, i need to use them too.

 

AGAIN?! COME ON LADY!!!

 

after what feels like forever, you feel like a type of goo has been dumped on top of you.

 

your vision slowly starts to come back.

 

can you speak normally now?

 

>check one two.

 

aw yeah.

 

wait... not aw yeah, YOUR NAKED!

 

*fwomp*

 

well, you were naked, the witch must have thrown another blanket on you.

 

witch: your welcome.

 

>im starting to think you just want to see a dude naked.

 

witch: i can see dudes naked whenever i want, but seeing a good looking naked dude, thats another story.

 

is she hitting on you? gross.

 

witch: just be lucky im nice enough to give you a sheet afterwords. now get outta here.

 

you walk out with your sword in hand, and sheet over your naked body.

 

you end up naked in oo a lot more than you care to be.

 

huntress: the deed is done my lord.

 

>im seriously sorry for saying all that stuff back there. i didnt mean any bit of it.

 

huntress: it is fine my lord, i deserved it.

 

>stop calling me that. you look more like someone who is used to being alone anyway. plus i dont need a guard.

 

huntress: i beg your pardon lord, but you seemed to need my help today.

 

>... how about i call on you when i need you? good?

 

huntress: i will keep a close eye on you at all times.

 

>hopefully not when i am dressing.

 

huntress: i, i would not do such a thing my lord.

 

>stop... just call me anon.

 

huntress: but lo-

 

you give her the look.

 

huntress: ... alright, anonymous. till you require my help.

 

huntress wizard disappears within a gale of wind and leaves. she must be like the ninja of all wizards... no wait... what if there is a ninja wizard?

 

>.... ice king...

 

ice king: im sorry bro. i didnt know this was gonna happen.

 

>pfff... i should be the one saying sorry. i didnt even mean any of the stuff i said to you and huntress wizard.

 

ice king: i cant believe you called her such nasty words.

 

>yeah... i didnt want to say those things, but they just kept coming out.

 

ice king and you begin to walk.

 

ice king: so howed you get your sword? i thought you left it at your house.

 

>i did.... it just... appeared in my hands when i needed it.

 

you guess thats what the voices meant when they said you could control it and junk

 

ice king: what was it like being blind?

 

>it sucked so much, you have no idea.

 

ice king: i can imagine. well it looks like you have your own girlfriend now. congrats bro.

 

>what? shes not my-

 

ice king: oh yeah man, i could see it in both your eyes. shes got the hots for you, you got the hots for her. bingo bango.

 

>theres no bingo bango. i dont even know her.

 

ice king: yet.~

 

>oh shut up.

 

ice king: she was totally showing you her butt whenever she got the chance.

 

>*sigh*....

 

ice king: "oh anon, you make my stomach tingle like there are many butterflies in it."

 

>for the love of... alright, you wanna do this to me? "that ice king sure is hawt. i should have took his clothes off instead."

 

ice king: yep. im pretty hawt alright. check out mah pecks ive been working on.

 

ice king lifts up his robe.

 

they are all flabby still.

 

>..... yeeeeaaah, we need to keep meeting up on sundays.

 

ice king: yeah, i get these fits with ice cream from here to there anyway.