PiE - Rarity in Earth

Day 12

>Dear Diary

>Hello, Diary.  This is Rarity again telling you that I still miss Opalescence.

>Mommy's coming home one day, sweetie.  Be brave.

>As you know diary, I have certain refined tastes.

>And such refined tastes are rather expensive.

>That is the reason why I devote my time on keeping tabs on his finances, so I could scrounge up some money for the finer things in life for the both of us. (Seriously, how hard is it to make a budget and stick with it?)

>And maybe give Dougie a little present with the money I've saved.  

>After Douglas cooked breakfast (he really hates being called Douglas by the way), we went off to get more groceries.

>But I digress; the place that he sent me to was 'Bargain Bill's'

>When I first saw the name, I thought "Rarity, prepare yourself.  This will definitely not be fun."

>The first thing that I saw when entering the store was the hideous design.

>White streak-filled tiles.  Gaudy yellow walls.  White hideous popcorn style ceilings.

>I certainly hope that it doesn't rub off on me!

>Douglas ignored all the signs of this train wreck.

>what he said to me was, "Rarity, look at this.  Cucumbers for a dollar, what a steal."

>It was about there that I had realized that I had made a mistake.

>For Douglas' limited budget to stretch further, I was the one who suggested this whole endeavor.

>So I had to endure, diary.  Despite the zombie-like lower class ruffians staring at me.

>One child tried to pet me with his fingers sticky with... something.

>I would never allow Sweetie Belle to get so dirty.

[Tear drops litter the last two sentences]

>We went home, The End, I'm never going there again.

>Goodbye Diary, I need some alone time right now.

 

Day 14

>Dear Diary,

>This is Rarity.  Why does noone appreciate me?

>Douglas asked me to fix his tattered old biker jacket.

>Let me tell you diary...

>IT WAS HIDEOUS

"Just make it not-ratty on the sleeves", he said

>I never heard such laziness in creativity.

>He didn't ask for a redesign.

>Not even for a touch-up.

"I don't want you to frilly it up with lace."

>As if a piece of lace would dare to approach such a thing, much less touch it.

>So, I did what he asked and instead of thanks, he just walks off with it.

>I almost left his house out of anger.

>Well, he did say thanks.

>But it was just six letters to him; a mere catch-phrase.

>I will teach him the proper way to say 'Thank you, Rarity'.

>Befitting of a gentleman.

>He can consider that payment for taking me in.

>And then I will be free.

>Free.

>Oh, diary.

>What shall I do when I'm free?

>I shall have to stay a while, to learn human customs.

>Douglas took me in, so he must be my lens to see society.

>Even if that lens is a tad dirty.

 

Day 17

>It has been quite the while, dear Diary.

>I have some amazing news!

>Douglas has finally listened to me!

>When I set out the table, he finally used the ice cream fork for, wait for it...

>ICE CREAM!

>He said, and these are his exact words,

"This spork ain't too bad.  Better than them plastic ones."

>And just when I thought I made a breakthrough, he used the 'spork' for his second TV dinner.

>Baby step, Rarity.  Baby steps.

 

Brain, it's Doogie.

This spork thing that Rarity pony gave me is awesome.

I love it.

Me and the guys are getting a barbeque together tomorrow, and I was wondering something.

This fork here doesn't have long prongs.

Not long enough to stick it in a pork sausage.

But I have a grinder and a few spare minutes.

Make the prongs longer and maybe put a bit of chrome on it.

She might even think I'm a handyman.

Maybe then she'd stop nagging me about acting more lah dee dah.

 

Day 20

>Douglas had quite a surprise for me.

>All morning he hinted that we were going out somewhere.

>He told me to make a disguise for being on the go.

>Thankfully, I had saved up some money and bought a sowing machine just for this circumstance.

>For the time taken, I have created a suitable autumn dress.

>It is light, billowy, and perfect for my human disguise.

>For once, Applejack is right.  Form has to follow function.

>I'd hate to think what anyone would do to me if they found out my existence.

>This is not the movies, dear diary.

>A rousing, heartfelt speech will not be enough to sway anyone's judgement of selling me out to some scientist.

 

>Oh, I forgot.  The one thing I had forgotten is my shoes.

>I can't see myself walking much on my hind hooves.

>Illusion will have to be my friend here.

>I shall have to lean on something for balance and pretend to have a bad back.

>High heels would be perfect for me, with a modified arch to make room for my hoof.

>But if I had a bad back, why would I wear heels in the first place?

>Diary, you should not ask such things.

>Function might sometimes determine form.

>But one must not be a slave to it.

>A reference is as follows on the picture I have encased in these pages.

>Hooves are hard to work around, but I must embrace the challenge.

 

>I must go Diary.  Douglas is calling, and I wonder what the surprise may be.

 

Day 20 (evening)

>Diary, today I felt what it was like to have the whole world rotate around you.

>Douglas showed me the surprise today.

>I was shocked at how dirty he had become.

>He said it was unavoidable, but how much grease does it take to attach a sidecar? (Other than the elbow kind Applejack was always talking about)

>"Douggie,"  I said, "is this the surprise?"

"Yeah.  So, do you like it?  I spent all afternoon attaching it."

>To say the least, I was not amused.

>I designed the perfect dress for what?  A joyride out on a smoky old bike?

>So, in order to not seem rude, I accepted his offer for a ride.

>A lady must pick her battles.

>We were about to drive out when one of Douglas' neighbours came over to ask some questions.

>Luckily, with my scarf, shoes, gloves, and dress, I was too beautiful for him to keep his eyes off for long.

>Douglas told me afterwards to not speak to the snitch.

>I ask of you, diary.

>Did I get along with the wrong human?

>Is Douglas one of those bikers?  The ruffians that you see in the news?

>He seems nice enough.

>Douglas took me in when I was lost and scared.

>If he was the bad kind, why would he save me?

>I'm afraid I don't know..

>I will describe my trip tomorrow.  I must sleep for now.

>Good night.

 

Day 21

>Good morning, diary.  It's Rarity.

>Last night, when I slept, I had a horrid nightmare.

>I dreamt of flying into the air only for me to slowly sink down into a bottomless lake.

>When I woke up, I decided to confide into you, diary, to calm my frightened mind.

>All I had asked was a night out.  Someplace nice and luxurious.

>Instead, earlier last evening, Douglas took me for a motorcycle ride.

>It was so frightening when he did a turn.  My seat flew into the air, and I felt like I was going to fall over.

>Douglas was so reckless.

>How dare he do that on purpose on an unsuspecting lady like me?

>After that event, he took me to some shoddy diner for some burgers and fries.

>I appreciate the thought, but why??

>So then we got talking.

>It turns out, his old man used to do the same thing when he was young.

>The same road, the same sidecar, and the same diner.

>On one hand, it was sweet.

>On the other, what made him think that it was endearing?

>Does he not know who I am?

>Rarity.  Fashionista.  Stunning beauty.  Donor for underfunded government services (that one shall be our secret).

>I don't see road hog anywhere in my description?  Do you diary?

>Yet it was Douglas' fine idea to show me.

>Is this vengence for trying to show him some manners?

>Hopefully not.

>I bid you adieu.

 

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Day 22

"Could you get me the salad fork, Rarity?"

>Finally, Douglas started acting like a real man.

>Do you know what this means, diary?

>It means that my plan is working.

>Every time I put out a new course to our meals, I change our utensils with the appropriate one for our current course.

>Then I would not so subtly get my point across by saying, "Would you place the pastry fork back into the washing machine."

>He wouldn't do it, saying that [spoiler][/spoiler] "It's a woman's job." [spoiler][/spoiler]

>But that's not the point.

>When he wanted to eat pickles out of the jar, I would grab the pickle fork.

>If he ate a cooked lobster, and wanted the meat from the claws, the crab fork would be right at his side.

>And each time I did, he would thank me.

>His mouth would be stuffed full with food, but he's learning the habit of good manners, even if the execution is off.

>You might think that I'm spoiling him.

>That is not the case.  The best teaching comes from a student who doesn't even realize that he's learning.

>Cheerliee said that one time when I was talking to her about Sweetie Belle's performance.

>It's times like this that I miss Sweetie Belle so much.

>Why did I yell at her?

>I didn't want her to be an average student; I wanted what was best for her.

>And now, she might be gone forever.

>She must think that I'm a terrible sister.

[Rarity scratches out the last line, three more words lay below before the entry ends.]

>I must persevere.

 

Day 23

>Douglas' poker friends came down again.

>Never ever have I have been nearby so many chauvinistic people in my entire life!

>Naturally, one of them was walking around the rooms looking for the beer fridge.

>He didn’t even ask, “Please, may I be excused.  If you wouldn’t mind, may I ask for a beer?”

>”Why yes.  Do you want to give me directions?”

>”Please.  I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome by snooping all throughout the house just to find one little beverage.”

>I barely had enough time to put on my human disguise before he found me.

>And when I was invited down at the living room, Douglas had to make up some story about how I was his…

>… Filipino mail order bride.

>For shame.

>It was so embarrassing to pretend to 'speakey no eenglish.'

>You would never guess what one of them said afterwards.

"So that there's why she's short and gots so many clothes."

>Rednecks.  All of them.  I want to hit one with a grammar book just so I could knock some culture into them.

>If only Applejack was here to speak their language.  Maybe then, those rednecks wouldn’t try to force me to serve them beer.

>Of course, I told them to get it themselves.

>It was so infuriating, diary.

>I do not belong in the kitchen, only to be forgotten.

>Even if this could reveal myself, I will take my rightful place in the spotlight.

>Douglas did ramp up on the manners though.  With his friends nearby no less.

>Even if it was to make up for his embarrassing behaviour, I am so proud of him.

>It almost seems like things are working too well.

>Look at me, diary.  Just when things are going perfect on teaching him some manners, I still feel like I'm doing something wrong...