Title:           Semi-Abuse Compilation
Author:          fluffyscribe
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/jJLhGeWB
First Edit:      Monday 28th of May 2012 11:08:03 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 28th of May 2012 11:08:03 PM CDT

>Eating lunch in the park.
>Been watching fluffy pony wander around, begging people for food.
>Been overcast. Suddenly it starts snowing.
>You're tough. Keep eating sandwhich.
>Fluffy pony shivers and whimpers.
>"Fwuffy cold... fwuffy need fin' home."
>Fluffy pony finds a big hole in the grass. Must be a badger hole.
>Fluffy looks into hole hesitantly.
>"New home?"
>He slowly walks into the hole. Just barely fits him.
>"Dawk... Fwuffy scawed!"
>He turns around, looking for help. Nobody's nearby.
>He's shivering violently from the cold.
>Whimpering from hunger, fear and cold, he forces himself into the hole.
>Approach the hole and listen closely.
>"Dawk and scawry... fwuffy no see..."
>A minute passes.
>"New fwend?"
>You hear a badger growling angrily.
>"Owie!!" fluffy screams in pain. "Owie! Owie! Hewp! No huwt fwuffy! Pwese s'op! No huwt! Owie!!"
>Hear sharp claws slicing into fluffy and flesh.
>Weird smell comes out of hole.
>Fluffy doesn't come out of hole.
 
___
 
>Be an electrician.
>Get called to fix wiring in a home for sale.
>Original owner died in bus explosion.
>Enter home with key the real estate bitch gave you.
>Get to work.
>Check circuit breaker, check fuses.
>Gotta fix up the lighting breaker in the attic.
>Go into attic.
>"Daddy?"
>Oh jeez. A pink fluffy pony is sitting in the dark attic.
>She cries when she sees you.
>"No daddy... fwuffy wan' daddy! Fwuffy so hungwy..."
>Must've belonged to the owner.
>Not your problem. Try to ignore her.
>Open wiring box in corner.
>"Fwuffy so hungwy..." she mewls, coming over to you.
>"New fwend? Pwese gif' foodies... daddy no bwing foodies..."
>Roll your eyes. Annoying things.
>Suddenly, fluffy pony sees the exposed electric wires.
>"Sketties!!" she cheers. She gallops past your hands and bites into a yellow wire.
>POP!!!
>Sudenly; blood, guts and fluffy are everywhere.
>Fluffy short-circuited and exploded all over you.
>Holy crap! You forgot to turn off the power line! You would've died!
>Stupid fluffy pony saved your life.
>Not sure how to feel.
>Finish job, get paid, smoke some weed.
>Feel good.
 
___
 
>Be a British wild-game hunter!
>Fluffy ponies have invaded your upper-class London neighborhood! Bloody hell!
>Finish your tea and crumpets. Pull out your Winchester. Jolly good then!
>Stride out into street, armed and at the ready.
>"New fwend?" "Pway?" "Fwuffy hungwy!" "Give huggies, pwese!!"
>"Not today, lads!" you guffaw. "Your bullocks shall fancify my trophy case!"
>Fire rounds into fluffy ponies. What good fun! They aren't even giving chase!
>"Bully!" you hoorah as the fluffy ponies die by your good aim and discipline.
>Stroke your waxed moustach as fluffy ponies cower before your fine leather boots.
>Stop to smoke a mahogany pipe and admire your victories as of yet.
>A red fluffy pony spots you and trots up to you. "New fwend?"
>Boot him into the air and shoot the wonky bugger!
>Get a phone call from Queen Mum as fluff rains down on your pointed safari cap.  
>Her Majesty says you are to be knighted!
>Thank your immortal Queen and assure her your boon will provide delicious components for the ceremonial dinner.
>Stuff fluffy pony intestines into your loot sack.
>Only the best ingredients for the finest cuisine on earth! Not like those filthy Yanks and their popped-corn!
>Hear Big Ben chime, its victorious tone ringing in your fine imperial blood! Bloody hell, it's already six bong?
>Hurry back inside before you miss Tea Time! The rest of the fluffies shall be flayed by your hand tomorrow!
>Jolly good then!
 
___
 
>Fluffy pony mare is wandering in city with her last foal.
>"Hungwy mummah!" the foal cries.
>Fluffy mare feels it's dangerous to stop here.
>Big open alley. Big buildings. Noises of monsters nearby.
>"No foodies," the mare sighs. "Huwwy, babeh! Munstahs fin' us if swow."
>"No wike munsahs!" the foal cries.
>Fluffy mare suddenly spots a milk crate! With a rag inside!!
>"Bwanky!" the mare cries with joy. She scoots her foal into the crate and helps wrap her up in the rag.
>"Wike bwanky!" the foal coos. "Wawm! Wuv mummah!"
>The mare nuzzles her foal. "Mummah wuv babeh."
>Suddenly, both of their bellies rumble.
>"Tummy owies," the foal whimpers. "Mummah, nummies! Pwese gif' nummies!"
>The mare looks around helplessly. She's out of milk. Her baby needs foodies like her now.
>But there are no foodies.
>"Babeh stay here," the mare says, cuddling with her foal one last time.
>"No, mummah! No weave! Wan' mummah!" the foal cries.
>"Mummah fin' nummies! Babeh stay here! Mummah be wight back!"
>The mare quickly trots down the alley.
>The foal watches, already painfully lonely.
>The foal sees a shadow moving on the fence, following her mother.
>The foal sees her mother walk behind a dumpster, sniffing for food.
>The foal sees the shadow leap down behind the dumpster.
>The foal hears her mother yelp in fright, and then there's only silence.
>"Mummah?" the foal whispers. She wants to run over to her mother.
>But she remembers that her mother told her to stay here.
>And it's so cold out, and the blanky is so warm.
>The foal squeaks miserably for hours. "Mummah? Wan' mummah back..."
>She can't keep her eyes open. She curls up in the rag until she's completely cozy, but still so hungry.
>She dies of hunger in the night.