Rainbow Fluffy

>Be a father.  Daughter just turned six.

>Begs you every day for a "Fluffy Pony" since she saw the commercial.

>Finally cave in and buy one from the Hasbro store.

>Dark blue pegasus mare.  Came with a Fluffy Pony Owner's Manual.

>Daughter is thrilled beyond belief.

>Both daughter and fluffy pony spend hours telling you they love you more than anything.

>feelsgoodman.jpg

>Daughter spends every waking moment with her fluffy pony.

>Tea parties.  Fluffy pony chews on plastic cups and daughter giggles.

>Hide and Seek.  Fluffy hides by covering her eyes with her hooves.

>TV.  Daughter and Fluffy both giggle hysterically at MLP:FIM.

>Two weeks go by.  Notice how fat fluffy is getting.

>Owners Manual specific how much to feed them.

>Accuse daughter of sneaking her too many sweets.

>Daughter cries, insisting she's not.

>Another few days, fluffy pony is too fat to stand.  Teats are swollen.

>Owners manual says this is normal... for pregnant mares.

>Goddamn Hasbro sold you a pregnant mare!  

>Daughter begs you to let her keep the babies.

>Mare is confused by the conversation.  "Daddeh take babehs?  No!! No take babehs!"

>Fluffy starts sobbing, tries to run away.  Legs don't touch ground.

>The stress puts her into labor.

>Lock daughter in room as you deal with the horrifying mess that is fluffy pony birth.

>Fluffy cries and whimpers as you help her.  "Pwese no take babehs.  Fwuffy good mummah, pwomise!  Pwese!"

>Pet her and tell her to calm down.

>Only one light-blue foal comes out.  Fluffy mare deflates and coos in exhaustion as the foal suckles on her.

>"Fwuffy wuv babeh.... pwetty babeh... wuv babeh..."

>She looks up at you.  "Wuv babeh, daddeh?  Am good mummah."

>Uhu.  Let daughter in.  Tell her only one baby is easy enough, and they can both stay.

>Happy ending.

>Kind of.

>A few days go by.  Newborn foal is cleaned up and getting its fluff.

>A light-blue fluff with a rainbow mane.  A light-blue pegasus with a perfect rainbow mane...

>Daughter names her "Rainbow."

>You're daughter's obsessed with MLP, and you know the foal looks exactly like Rainbow Dash.

>Maybe Hasbro designed fluffies to frequently look like the mane six?

>As daughter, fluffy and Rainbow play hugs in the living room, check internet for details.

>HOLY CRAP!  Turns out even Hasbro couldn't get a consistant results with color and race.

>Collectors offer upwards of $10,000 for any fluffy identical to the mane six.

>Then see the Rainbow Dash fluffy listings.

>$25,000.  25K for a perfect match of Rainbow Dash.  Rainbow manes are that rare.

>Pick up your jaw from the floor and stare into living room.

>Daughter is gently petting Rainbow.  Both Fluffy and Rainbow are cooing and flapping their tiny wings in bliss.

>"Fwuffy wuv mummah!  Mummah make babeh happy!  Wuv babeh.  Wainbow pwetty."

>Rainbow has learned some words.  "Wuv mummah!  Wingies!  Wuv wingies!  Hungy!"

>That fluff ball is worth $25,000.  You call the collector immediately.

>Sneak into daughter's room when they're sleeping.

>Daughter's asleep under her MLP blanket.  Fluffy is snoozing in her pile of blankets.

>Rainbow is nestled so deep in her mother's fluff you almost don't find her.

>Gently pick up Rainbow without waking her, put her in a tupperware bin, speed her to the collector.

>One transaction later, you have $25,000 sitting in your savings account.

>But naturally....  "Whewe babeh?!" Fluffy sobs hysterically, looking everywhere for Rainbow.

>Daughter is crying too.  Rainbow Dash is her favorite character...

>Don't have the heart to break the news to her, but you know you did the right thing.

>That fucking fluffy pony is paying for her college tuition, dammit.

>Fluffy mare cries and sobs for days.  Daughter cries with her.  Mindlessly depressing sight.

>Daughter eventually gets over the missing foal.  Fluffy doesn't.

>"Let's have a tea party!"

>"Fwuffy no wan' pawty! Wan' babeh! Whewe Wainbow!  Wan' Wainbow!"

>Daughter can't watch MLP without fluffy wailing in agony whenever Rainbow Dash is on screen.

>Fluffy Owner's Manual says mares aren't likely to get over losing a foal unless they saw it die with their own eyes.

>If it just vanished, they'll spend their short lifetime looking for it.

>Daughter tells you Fluffy is no fun anymore.

>Kiss her on the forehead, tell her you love her, and will find a good home for fluffy.

>The local fluffy pound is a depressing sight.  Thousands of fluffy ponies, three crammed into cages that barely accomadate one.  All of them beg and cry for a new daddy as you talk to the clerk.

>"Why scawy pwace, daddeh?" Fluffy cries.  "Wainbow hewe?  Pwese, fwuffy wan' Wainbow!"

>Roll your eyes.  "Yeah, fluffy.  These people will help you find Rainbow."

>Clerk raises an eyebrow at you as your fluffy cheers eagerly.

>Just shrug and acccept the trade.

>Driving home with two fluffy ponies in a kennel.  One is a red unicorn, the other's a purple earth pony.  

>They're hugging each other and can't seem to stop saying how much they love you.

>Your old fluffy will probably spend the rest of her life in a filthy cage, desperately crying for her missing foal.

>Who knows what will happen to Rainbow.  What do collectors do with valuable fluffy ponies anyway?  Give them to spoiled rich kids?  Have them stuffed?  Fuck them?

>Decide not to overthink it.

>Daughter is more than thrilled when you get home.

>Two new fluffy ponies who are more loveable than that old one.

>Daughter tells you a thousand times she loves you and you're the best daddy in the world.

>Life is good.