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Princess Five

By: fluffyscribe on Apr 19th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 1.56 KB  |  hits: 425  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Be a sad sad human.
  2. >Your fluffy pony died.
  3. >Got her from shelter two days ago.
  4. >You were bathing her, and looked away for two seconds.
  5. >BAM, fluffy pony lungs filled with bath water.
  6. >Too embarassed to go back to the shelter.  They were already asking questions last time.
  7. >Know there's a herd of feral fluffy ponies living in nearby woods.
  8. >Drive out with burlap sack.
  9. >Follow the trail of poop and shed fluff.
  10. >Find them.  A glorious grove of at least forty fluffies.
  11. >All asleep, all so fucking cute.
  12. >Grab a pink unicorn and shove her in the sack.
  13. >Sprint back to car, trying not to cackle too loudly.
  14. >"Hewp!" burlap sack cries.  "Dawk an' scawry!  Fwuffy can' find fwends!  Fwends!  Hewp fwuffy!"
  15. >Already in car, speed home.
  16. >"Woud noises!  Fwuffy scawred!  Munstah has fwuffy!"
  17. >Step in front door, bring sack to safe room, dump out pink unicorn.
  18. >Pink fluffy pony is horrified.  Urine and shit are dripping from burlap sack.
  19. >Fluffy pony sees you and immediately poops herself.
  20. >"No huwt fwuffy, pwese!" she sobs. "Fwuffy is good pone.  No huwt fwuffy!"
  21. >"I'm not going to hurt you," you pet her.  "I'm your new daddy.  This is your new home!"
  22. >Her wet eyes look thrilled.  "New daddy?  New home for fwuffy?"
  23. >"That's right," you smile.  "Your name will be Princess Five."
  24. >"Pwincess Fwive!" she cheers happily.  "Princess Fwive wuv new daddy!"  She bounces around happily before spotting the pile of decomposing fluffy ponies in the corner.  "New fwends?"
  25. >You smile, your eyes watering with love.  "Yes, those are your new friends.  Princess One through Four."