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New Jack

By: fluffyscribe on May 17th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.40 KB  |  hits: 371  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Sleep deprived as fuck.
  2. >Own two fluffy ponies, a colt and mare.
  3. >Jack and Sarah.
  4. >Jack spent all fucking night whining.
  5. >Couldn't shut him up, couldn't sleep.
  6. >Sunrise, you open up the safe room door.
  7. >Sarah bounces up an hugs your leg.
  8. >"Mornin' daddy! Fwuffy miss you!"
  9. >Jack blows you a rasberry from the litterbox.
  10. >"Go 'way, daddy!" He's angry?  Seriously?
  11. "What the fuck is your problem, guy?"
  12. >Jack runs past your feet, out the door.
  13. >Runs aimlessly around the house. Spaz.
  14. >You pick up Sarah and hug her.
  15. >"You're such a good fluffy."
  16. >Sarah cheers. "Yay! Wuv daddy! Wuv huggies!"
  17. >Hear the newspaper hit the front door.
  18. >Put Sarah down and go to door.
  19. >"Daddy! Wan' go out!" Jack's humping your leg.
  20. >"Wan' go out! Wan' go out!"
  21. "No, Jack.  Stay!"
  22. >"No s'ay! Wan' go out!"
  23. "Jack, I swear to fucking god."
  24. >You open the door to get the paper.
  25. >Jack bolts the second it's open, runs down your driveway and plays in the front yard.
  26. >Stare from door for a moment.  Slam it shut.
  27. >You go eat breakfast, and give Sarah spaghetti for being such a well-behaved fluffy.
  28. >"Wuv you daddy!" she says between bites.
  29. "Love you too, sweety!"
  30. >It's an hour before Jack is trying to get back in.
  31. >"Daddy! Wet' fwuffy in! Fwuffy wan' bekfas!"
  32. >Ignore it.  You play with Sarah all day while Jack whines like a bitch outside.
  33. >Decide he's learned his lesson by sunset.
  34. >Go outside for Jack. See his body floating in the neighbor's flower fountain...
  35. >Walk over and throw his corpse in the garbage. Only fair to your neighbor.
  36. >Come back in, feeling indifferent. Jack was a brat. Fluffies die all the time.
  37. >"Whew Jack daddy?" Sarah looks lonely.
  38. "Jack's gone, sweety."
  39. >"When Jack come back? Fwuffy haf babehs soon! Babehs wiw wan' daddy!"
  40. >You blink. Sarah has been getting really fat... Oh no.
  41. >"Daddy! Fwuffy wan' Jack! Pwese bwing Jack!" She's crying.
  42. >Can't stand to see such a well-behaved fluffy so sad.
  43. >Race down to fluffy shelter.
  44. >Buy a fluffy that looks identical to Jack.
  45. >Name him Jack on the car ride home.
  46. "Sarah! I brought Jack back!"
  47. >"New fwend?" New Jack cheers at Sarah.
  48. "No, Jack! It's Sarah! You've always known Sarah."
  49. >He's confused. So is Sarah.
  50. >"Dat.. Jack?" Sarah is sniffing him. "No Jack! No smew wight!"
  51. >You don't know why you thought this would work.
  52. "Whatever. New Jack will be a good daddy, sweety.  I'm going to bed."
  53. >Finally. Sleep.
  54. >New Jack starts whining all night.  FUCK.
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