Title:           Coffee for Fluffy
Author:          fluffyscribe
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ZLPffZsh
First Edit:      Thursday 26th of April 2012 06:16:09 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 26th of April 2012 06:16:09 PM CDT

>Your fluffy pegasus pony is one of the very, very rare fluffy pegasi that can actually hover.
>She can get a few feet in the air before tiring.  Impressive, relatively.
>Causes nothing but problems for you.
>Fluffy pony flies onto kitchen table, gets scared of jumping down.
>Trapped there for hours before having to poop on table.
>Fluffy pony flies too high, tires, and crashes back onto floor.
>Injured; almost had to put her down.
>Come home from work one day.
>Hear wailing from tea kettle.
>Rush into kitchen, see water boiling in kettle on stovetop.
>Fluffy pony is on the counter, crying.
>"Woud noise scawy!" she's sobbing.  "Hewwwp!!"
>Turn off flame, scowl at fluffy as she notices you.
>"Fwuffy..." she sniffs, "Fwuffy su-supwise daddy wit' coffee!"
>Realize she's also pulled your coffee grounds out of cupboard.
>Coffee grounds spilled fucking everywhere.
"Oh for FUCK'S SAKE!"
>Fluffy pony tries to fly away when you grab her.
>Still not nearly strong enough to escape your grip.
>Put her down, put milk crate over her.
>"No!  Daddy, wan' out!  Daddy, fwuffy no wike!  Fwuffy sowwy!  Sowwy, daddy!  Wet out, pwese!"
>Finish making the coffee as you clean up the mess.
>Fill fluffy's water tray with hot coffee.
>Slid it into her crate.
"You wanted coffee?  You may as well drink some."
>"Fwuffy make coffee for daddy," she cries.
"No leaving the crate until you drink it all!"
>She sniffs it.  "No smew pwetty, daddy..."
"DRINK IT!"
>Takes a sip. Burns her tongue.  "OWIE!" she shrieks.  "Coffee huwt!  Owie!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' hugs!  Pwese, mouf' huwt!"
>You sit and wait silently.  She sobs until the coffee's cooled, and drinks it all down.
>Twenty minutes later, she's literally bouncing off the walls of her crate.
>"Wan' out!" she screams, jittering and shaking like crazy.  "Wan' out!  Wan' out!  Wan' out!"
>Flaps wings, smashes into roof of crate over and over.
>"Wan' fwy!  Wan' fwy!  Fwuffy wan' out!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' out!  Out!"
>"Tummy huwt!  Wan' out!  Haf' ta pee-pee!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' out!"
>"Wan' fwy!  Wan' fwy!"
>Caffeine crashes after half an hour.  Face down in empty tray.
>"Fwuffy..." she can barely whisper.  "Fwuffy... no wike coffee... Fwuffy... dizzy..."
>Experiment complete.  Wonder how weed would affect her....