Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Public Pastes
Guest

Coffee for Fluffy

By: fluffyscribe on Apr 26th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.25 KB  |  hits: 527  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >Your fluffy pegasus pony is one of the very, very rare fluffy pegasi that can actually hover.
  2. >She can get a few feet in the air before tiring.  Impressive, relatively.
  3. >Causes nothing but problems for you.
  4. >Fluffy pony flies onto kitchen table, gets scared of jumping down.
  5. >Trapped there for hours before having to poop on table.
  6. >Fluffy pony flies too high, tires, and crashes back onto floor.
  7. >Injured; almost had to put her down.
  8. >Come home from work one day.
  9. >Hear wailing from tea kettle.
  10. >Rush into kitchen, see water boiling in kettle on stovetop.
  11. >Fluffy pony is on the counter, crying.
  12. >"Woud noise scawy!" she's sobbing.  "Hewwwp!!"
  13. >Turn off flame, scowl at fluffy as she notices you.
  14. >"Fwuffy..." she sniffs, "Fwuffy su-supwise daddy wit' coffee!"
  15. >Realize she's also pulled your coffee grounds out of cupboard.
  16. >Coffee grounds spilled fucking everywhere.
  17. "Oh for FUCK'S SAKE!"
  18. >Fluffy pony tries to fly away when you grab her.
  19. >Still not nearly strong enough to escape your grip.
  20. >Put her down, put milk crate over her.
  21. >"No!  Daddy, wan' out!  Daddy, fwuffy no wike!  Fwuffy sowwy!  Sowwy, daddy!  Wet out, pwese!"
  22. >Finish making the coffee as you clean up the mess.
  23. >Fill fluffy's water tray with hot coffee.
  24. >Slid it into her crate.
  25. "You wanted coffee?  You may as well drink some."
  26. >"Fwuffy make coffee for daddy," she cries.
  27. "No leaving the crate until you drink it all!"
  28. >She sniffs it.  "No smew pwetty, daddy..."
  29. "DRINK IT!"
  30. >Takes a sip. Burns her tongue.  "OWIE!" she shrieks.  "Coffee huwt!  Owie!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' hugs!  Pwese, mouf' huwt!"
  31. >You sit and wait silently.  She sobs until the coffee's cooled, and drinks it all down.
  32. >Twenty minutes later, she's literally bouncing off the walls of her crate.
  33. >"Wan' out!" she screams, jittering and shaking like crazy.  "Wan' out!  Wan' out!  Wan' out!"
  34. >Flaps wings, smashes into roof of crate over and over.
  35. >"Wan' fwy!  Wan' fwy!  Fwuffy wan' out!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' out!  Out!"
  36. >"Tummy huwt!  Wan' out!  Haf' ta pee-pee!  Daddy, fwuffy wan' out!"
  37. >"Wan' fwy!  Wan' fwy!"
  38. >Caffeine crashes after half an hour.  Face down in empty tray.
  39. >"Fwuffy..." she can barely whisper.  "Fwuffy... no wike coffee... Fwuffy... dizzy..."
  40. >Experiment complete.  Wonder how weed would affect her....
create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data