Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Guest

Felix Baumgartner in equestria

By: FitzAiE on Oct 14th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 5.86 KB  |  hits: 71  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >You are Anon, and  you are currently falling at 700mph out of the stratosphere.
  2. >A cone starts forming around your body, encompassing you completely.
  3. >As you gain speed, you can feel your body start to vibrate.
  4. >A chest rattling boom goes off and you are blinded.
  5. >You did it. You broke the speed of sound with nothing but your body.
  6. >Now you just have to wait for your shoot to deploy, and float down gently, landing softly on the ground.
  7. >You feel the shoot deploy, tugging harshly on your body as your propulsion slows.
  8. >Vision starts coming clearer and you see the ground approaching.
  9. >While it is still blurry, you can make out outlines of the ground.
  10. >It looks like you are about to land in the middle of a small town.
  11. >Multiple people stand there, staring up at you. They all seem to be wearing colorful clothing.
  12. >You brace for impact as you approach the ground.
  13. >As your feet hit the ground, you take a few steps, transferring what saved momentum you had remaining to the ground.
  14. >This must be a town full of children or something, because they are all really short.
  15. >Your sun visor is clouding your vision, but these people are not looking right at all.
  16. >Throwing your arms up in the air, they all jump back,  looking frightened.
  17. >Currently out of breath, you can’t say too much.
  18. >Your vision finally clears up.
  19. >Going that fast must cause hallucinations or something, because everything looks cartoon like.
  20. >And those aren’t people. They look like mini horses.
  21.  
  22. >Meanwhile you are Trixie and something just interrupted your show.
  23. >One second you are pulling sawing Snips in half on stage, with the attention of everyone, next they are all looking at this large thing dropping in from the sky.
  24. >You try and get their attention by moving on to the next bit.
  25. >Snails, one of your assistants, has terrible acne, and you have come up with a way to get rid of it.
  26. “For her next feat, The Great And Powerful Trixie, will remove any trace of blemishes from my dear assistants face.”
  27. >Still no attention from them.
  28. >Instead, they are all focused on that thing.
  29. >You are getting mad.
  30. >In your state of anger, you may have used a little too much magic.
  31. >As you zap the pimple, it doesn’t disappear.
  32. >Instead of disappearing, it starts growing.
  33. >It’s quadrupled in size in a matter of seconds.
  34. >It seems to be getting the attention of everyone now.
  35. >They all look horrified.
  36. >You are panicking.
  37. >Trying the spell again, it just feeds it.
  38. >It’s easily 4 the times of a pony now.
  39. >Snails is flipping out, dangling from the zit like a ragdoll.
  40. >The size of this blemish just keeps growing.
  41. >Twilight tried to zap it, but no avail. In fact, when she hit it, Snails fell off and the boil started moving by its own.
  42. >It started rolling and crushed your stand.
  43. >You are Trixie, and you are homeless.
  44.  
  45. >You are Anon, and right now you are sort of terrified.
  46. >A blue pony just shot another pony in the face with some kind of laser beam, and a boil started growing off its face.
  47. >After a few failed attempts from several of the ponies to attack the pimple, the thing was massive, and free rolling.
  48. >You pry your mask off and get a better view of it.
  49. >All of the ponies are screaming and running around trying to escape this massive growth.
  50. >A Purple pony approaches you and starts speaking.
  51. >”HELP US.”
  52. >what
  53. “what”
  54. >”WE NEED YOUR HELP TO STOP THAT THING!”
  55. >You think for a while, and figure that since you are either hallucinating, or dead.
  56. >Might as well have some fun while you are in this state.
  57. “Do you have anything that can get me up high fast?”
  58. >She calms down enough to think for a bit then screams out
  59. >”RAINBOWDASH!”
  60. >A flying pride flag zooms at you.
  61. >R” Woa, Twi what is that?”
  62. >T”No time to explain. “ She points at you. ”climb on her back”
  63. >She points at the rainbow colored pony. “You follow his directions.”
  64. >You hop on her back, and start directing her.
  65. “I need you to take me as high as you can above this thing.”
  66. >She nods in understanding, and tries to take off.
  67. >You must weigh too much.
  68. >After hopping off of her, you strip all the unneeded items.
  69. >No helmet, no chest piece, just your pants and utility belt.
  70. >You climb back on and she takes off successfully.
  71. >Cutting a 60 degree angle, she flies upwards at great speeds.
  72. >You love the wind flowing over your skin at these speeds.
  73. >She is easily 3000 feet in the air in no time.
  74. “LEVEL OUT”
  75. >You have to scream because of the wind muffling your voice.
  76. >She extends her wings, and you lose speed rapidly.
  77. “Sometimes you have to go really high to see how small you are"
  78. >”What?”
  79. “I’m coming home.”
  80. >You roll off of her and angle yourself to a straight dive.
  81. >Reaching down to your utility belt you grab your knife.
  82. >After bringing it above your head, you lock hands and make yourself into a human spear.
  83. >You can see the pimple coming into focus.
  84. >Closing your eyes, you can feel yourself accelerating.
  85. >When you connect with the bubble, you must have been going well over 300 mph
  86. >You plunge deep into the mass of puss and goo.
  87. >After your feet break through, you can feel suction pulling you upwards.
  88. >You are ejected in a geyser of putrid smelling puss.
  89. >Resting atop a steady flow of rancid goo that resembled the consistence of cottage cheese, and smelled of clam chowder that has been sitting in a bowl for a month.
  90. “ITS IN MY EYES”
  91. >You try to wipe it from your eyes, but there is just more on your arms.
  92. >The geyser pushes you outwards, to the left, and you land in a small pool of puss.
  93. >Arising like a phoenix from the ashes, you raise your arms in triumph.
  94. >Slinging the slime from your arms, you wipe the sludge from your eyes and take in the surroundings.
  95. >The entire town is coated in a thick layer of sludge, and the smell is horrifying.
  96. >Everything is under a blanket of off white cream.
  97. >They all look at you and break out in cheers.
  98. >good end