Title:           Jackass in Equestria 3
Author:          fitanon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ZYCbrtJH
First Edit:      Thursday 5th of July 2012 10:59:23 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 5th of July 2012 10:59:23 PM CDT

Danger Anon and the "Perfect Pour"
 
>Day 215 in equestria
>You are enjoying a night of celebration at the bar with your friends/fellow castmates.
>Your stunts are getting huge. The entire bar lost its shit when you, Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy entered. Shit, the bartender even allowed you all to drink for free.
>And drink you did. Oh lord in heaven did you all drink, for hours.
>"H-heey anoon~" Rainbow slurs with a foreleg over your shoulder.
"Hehe you're, you are so wasted."
>"Yeeee haw!" Applejack cheers from somewhere in the bar.
"So's she."
>The two of you laugh raucously. Pinkie is dancing up a storm, while Fluttershy sways two and fro on the stool next to yours with a goofy grin on her face.
>"Hehe hey, hey Anon."
"Yeah?"
>Rainbow holds up the camera.
"...yes."
 
>A few minutes later every patron is surrounding the bar, which you are currently laying on, in a semi-circle.
>Applejack is standing over you but facing the opposite direction; her ass right over your face. You try to ignore the fact that her unmentionables are in plain view.
>This was not what you had planned. Even with all the alcohol in your system this was going to be fucking terrible.
>Fuck it. In too deep now.
>Rainbro is dying of laughter already, so Fluttershy is holding the camera.
>You turn towards it with a look of regret.
"Hi I'm- I'm Danger Anon and this...God...this is the Perfect Pour."
>The barkeep is standing on a stool with a mug of cider primed and ready over Applejack's ass.
>"Oh, just so ya know Anon...ah was working the orchard all day and haven't showered."
"Oh G-"
>"GO!"
>It begins.
 
>The barkeep begins to pour the frothy beverage over Applejack's ass.
>The amber liquid perfectly contours to her hindquarters, flowing down between her flanks, over her nethers-
>And right into your fucking mouth.
>This is what its like to die.
"aaaAAAHGGKGKK HLURP"
>"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG" the bar choruses.
>You try. Oh how you try. But its death, death in liquid form. You can -taste- the various...residues.
"GAGHKLLLL HERLLGHK"
>You gag and wretch. The Applejack cider splurting out of your mouth and all over your face onto the bar.
>Now its in your eyes and up your nose.
>Rainbow is losing her shit. She can hardly breathe. Fluttershy watches in awe with a blush on her features, her wings slowly rising off her back.
>Fucking gross ass Fluttershy.
>"Buck up Anon we're half way there!" Applejack cheers with a smile.
>God, why?
 
"-GLURG- HRGGGKK -GLURP- AAGHGHURKL"
>To your credit, you manage to swallow some of the heinous brew through your spasms.
>Applejack is now wetly clapping her cheeks together, sloshing more of the liquid atrocity across your neck and chest.
>You have no friends.
>Finally, the mug runs empty. The bar erupts into cheers even as you cough and splutter.
>Still laying on the bar blankly staring at the cieling you give the p0nies a weak thumbs up. Rainbow's grinning, drunken visage comes into view.
>"DUDE! That was SICK!" Rainbro screams over the din. "How do you feel?!"
>You blink.
>You open you mouth to respond-
>-and vomit all over her face.
>The bar explodes into screaming schadenfruedic bliss once more.
>You and your cast get free drinks for life.
>You are still unsure if it was worth the crippling stomach illness and eye infections.