Jackass in Equestria 1

Written in conjunction with Mandroid (http://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid)

 

Danger Anon and the Bog Jump

 

>Day 175 in Equestria.

>Its finally complete. it had taken weeks of preperation but you have never been so sure of anything in your life.

>This is the stunt thats gonna put you on the map.

>Your Rainbro helped extensively in its construction, as well as Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

>Twilight couldn't be bothered because shes a fucking nerd, Rarity because shes a stuck up bitch. Interestingly enough Fluttershy showed interest, but only to provide medical aid in the likely possibility that you break yourself.

>Its almost time. At the stroke of noon, you are doing this.

>'This' specifically is a quarter mile hill leading to a hundred foot ramp. The goal? Jump Froggy bottom bog.

>You get yourself settled onto your bike, which you had made yourself. It was your pride and joy, and it would carry you into fame on this day.

>You check your watch, 11:59. Time to do this.

>Rainbro flutters up to you, a slight look of worry on her face. "Anon, are you -sure- about this?"

"Positive. This will work, i've done all the math."

>"You suck at math."

"Fuck off. You got the camera?"

>She holds it up and hits record. "Ready when you are."

>Another glance at your watch confirms the time of your ascension into history.

>With a shit eating grin you look to the camera.

"Hi I'm Danger Anon, and welcome to Jackass."

 

>With a shove of the pedal, you are off.

>The scenery becomes a blur as you barrel down the incline.

>Adrenaline fills you. This is it. This is it!

>Your handlebars begin to dangerously wobble, but you get them under control.

>Thats it, nice and easy, just keep the front wheel str-OhGodthiswasabadideayouaregoingsofasttoofastohfuckohfuckOH-

>You hit the ramp, and blast straight through it.

>Your bike evaporates from under you, since you aren't a fucking bike maker.

>Your world is pain as you eat shit on the shores of the swamp and then proceed to ragdoll across the water.

>You skip a few times before smashing into a log and sinking into the murky depths.

>...you don't resurface.

>Awareness returns to you as you choke up a large volume of water. Apparently you were pulled back to shore before you could drown.

>Rainbow is staring down at you, her expression unreadable.

"How...how was it?" You croak.

>For a second Rainbow says and does nothing. Slowly, however, a grin paints itself across her face.

>"Bucking. Awesome."

>And so it began. Well, -would- begin, After you got out of the hospital.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmKNbnd2VPQ