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F&F: story 6, Mardil 1: worse than jolly's secret rape cave

By: fireandfluffies on Jun 1st, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.32 KB  |  hits: 180  |  expires: Never
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  1. >you are a powerful blue mage
  2. >a man of focus
  3. >a man of wisdom
  4. >a man of concentration
  5. >you can cast aside mighty spells with the flick of a wrist
  6. >or rework the mind with surgical precision
  7. >but in all your myriad powers
  8. >you still haven’t figured out how to keep a fluffy pony off of your god damn lawn
  9. >and your spire has a pretty big lawn
  10. >any given day that you look out your window, it looks like some sort of gumdrop forest from a children’s picture book
  11. >one of your invisible servants has arrived with a message
  12. >a fluffy pony just broke your favorite fountain
  13. >which you got as a gift from your recently deceased nephew
  14. >that seals it
  15. >time to dole out the worst punishment you can think of
  16. >the servant motions for you to possibly reconsider
  17. >you make a big show of fishing your hand around in a jar on your desk
  18. >nope, fresh out of fucks to give
  19. >you get up from your chair and blink down to your lawn
  20. >and as you wait for the pressure difference from a spontaneous half mile change in altitude to dissipate from your ears, fluffies gather around you
  21. >you shout out in your most dramatic voice
  22. >”I AM THE WISEST, AND THE MOST INTELIGENT OUT OF ANY HERE. THIS IS PURE FACT. ANY WHO WISH TO CONTEST ME MUST FIRST COME FORTH TO CHALENGE MY PERFECTION”
  23. >in short, you just challenged the smarty to a dick measuring contest
  24. >and sure enough, the little puissant goes through the standard issue motions
  25. NU! Dis smawty pwace! Dummy human go way!
  26. >you mage hand the unicorn up to you, ignoring its pitiful thrashing attempts at escape
  27. >”So, you feel you have a mind of merit, do you?”
  28. >you hold the fluffy up to its immediate protest
  29. Dummy human! Smawty wan down! Smawty get down!
  30. >”let me show you what real intelligence means”
  31. >the unicorn’s eyes and coat turn a deep shade of blue, similar to your robes
  32. >you’ve done it thousands of times before, this smarty now has the intelligence and personality of an average human male, if not a bit on the bright side
  33. Oh god, please, let me down sir, I don’t mean any harm
  34. >you smirk
  35. >”now go, young one, your herd needs you now more than ever”
  36. >you inflicted the worst punishment you could think of
  37. >worse than torture
  38. >worse than drowning
  39. >worse than getting locked in jolly’s secret rape basement
  40. >fluffy pony has realized the futility of its own existence
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