- >fuck everything
- >your girlfriend broke up with you
- >she stole a bunch of your shit
- >and keyed your car
- >time to go out to your family’s old woodland hideaway
- >on the way there, stop at a gas station to pick up some mountain dew and andy cap’s
- >owner warns you about a huge fluffy herd that’s been spotted in area
- >the smarty is supposed to be really nasty
- >thank him and go on your merry way
- >things are starting to feel better after a week
- >the liquor cabinet has aided you greatly
- >and you’re in your bathing suit headed down to the lake to swim again
- STAWP WIGHT DEWE
- >you freeze
- >what the fuck was that
- >a blue earth fluffy jumps out in front of you, followed by a few others
- You fwuffy pwisnuh now. We take you to smawty an he make you do stuff
- >why the fuck not
- >they’re cute enough
- >let’s humor them for a little bit
- >you put your hands up. “alrighty, you got me, take me to your leader”
- GUD. Dum meanie munstah gonna bow befo smawty
- >less cute
- >but you follow them anyways
- >you finally get to a glade a short distance from the house
- >there are fluffies everywhere
- >it stinks like there are fluffies everywhere too
- > there’s a white unicorn sunbathing on a rock in the middle
- Smawty, we capcha dum munsta. Wut wanna do
- >it’s horn begins to glow
- BOW BEFOW SMAWTY DUMMY MUNSTA
- >it’s casting some sort of gravity spell
- >poorly
- >it feels like you’re carrying a gallon of water on your back
- >this isn’t cute in the slightest.
- >start to walk away
- WOYAW GUAWD, TEACH DUMMY MUNSTAH A WESSON
- >seven in total are now using that spell on you
- >weight has been upgraded to heavy backpack, still nothing debilitating
- >still walking away.
- >these things are starting to sound like that bitch julia
- DUMMY FWUFFYS. SMAWTY SAY WOWK HAWDUH
- >the weight gets marginally worse before lifting completely
- >smarty’s incessant yelling has been replaced by cries for help and a low rumble
- >turn to look what the hell is going on
- >smarty and “royal guard” are being dragged towards what seems to be a pinprick hole in reality
- >in his fervor to cast the spell the smarty summoned a black hole that’s barely contained
- DUMMY FWUFFIES HEWP SMAWTY
- >fluffy ponies can’t think and talk at the same time
- >fluffy pony has miscast
- >the pinpoint expands to a football size, and the low rumble to a loud roar
- >you hold onto a tree and pray for divine intervention
- >the mewling and pleading stop with a loud clap
- >the black hole dissipated, and birds can now be heard chirping in the trees
- >and not a single fluffy pony in sight
- >fucking beautiful.
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F&F: Story 3: Innawoods
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