Title:           F&F: story 6, Mardil 1: worse than jolly's secret rape cave
Author:          fireandfluffies
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/cCCf54dx
First Edit:      Friday 1st of June 2012 08:25:25 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 1st of June 2012 08:25:25 AM CDT

>you are a powerful blue mage
>a man of focus
>a man of wisdom
>a man of concentration
>you can cast aside mighty spells with the flick of a wrist
>or rework the mind with surgical precision
>but in all your myriad powers
>you still haven’t figured out how to keep a fluffy pony off of your god damn lawn
>and your spire has a pretty big lawn
>any given day that you look out your window, it looks like some sort of gumdrop forest from a children’s picture book
>one of your invisible servants has arrived with a message
>a fluffy pony just broke your favorite fountain
>which you got as a gift from your recently deceased nephew
>that seals it
>time to dole out the worst punishment you can think of
>the servant motions for you to possibly reconsider
>you make a big show of fishing your hand around in a jar on your desk
>nope, fresh out of fucks to give
>you get up from your chair and blink down to your lawn
>and as you wait for the pressure difference from a spontaneous half mile change in altitude to dissipate from your ears, fluffies gather around you
>you shout out in your most dramatic voice
>”I AM THE WISEST, AND THE MOST INTELIGENT OUT OF ANY HERE. THIS IS PURE FACT. ANY WHO WISH TO CONTEST ME MUST FIRST COME FORTH TO CHALENGE MY PERFECTION”
>in short, you just challenged the smarty to a dick measuring contest
>and sure enough, the little puissant goes through the standard issue motions
NU! Dis smawty pwace! Dummy human go way!
>you mage hand the unicorn up to you, ignoring its pitiful thrashing attempts at escape
>”So, you feel you have a mind of merit, do you?”
>you hold the fluffy up to its immediate protest
Dummy human! Smawty wan down! Smawty get down!
>”let me show you what real intelligence means”
>the unicorn’s eyes and coat turn a deep shade of blue, similar to your robes
>you’ve done it thousands of times before, this smarty now has the intelligence and personality of an average human male, if not a bit on the bright side
Oh god, please, let me down sir, I don’t mean any harm
>you smirk
>”now go, young one, your herd needs you now more than ever”
>you inflicted the worst punishment you could think of
>worse than torture
>worse than drowning
>worse than getting locked in jolly’s secret rape basement
>fluffy pony has realized the futility of its own existence