Queen Fic 2

        The Queen of the World peeked around the curtains that she was currently hiding behind, taking in the sight before her with almost giddy excitement.  The raised stage stood before a seemingly endless sea of women and teenaged girls, and the crowd’s screeching and chattering washed over her in waves.  Yes, this truly was one of her better plans, she thought with a predatory smile.  She glanced behind her at the crowd of her servants, ensuring that they were ready to defend their queen, and to the keystone of his most heinous of plots: the boy band that these women seemed to worship.

        Nodding in satisfaction, she barked a few sharp commands before striding out on stage, the charmed group of artists trailing behind her.  Her slaves, always so eager to do her bidding, were already fanning out in front of the crowd, forming a protective human chain in front of the stage.  Not that she was that worried about a bunch of 16 year old girls, she thought dismissively, but caution had always served her well, and she wasn’t about to change good habits from her years in the backstabbing Egyptian royalty.

        The roar of the crowd intensified, the appearance of their idols enough to drive the seething mass of humanity into a frenzy, though an undercurrent of muttering began to grow as Queen sauntered up to the microphone instead of the boy band.  She didn’t speak yet, savoring the moment of her impending victory as the crowd began to quiet and focus its attention on her.  This plan really was perfect, using the object of these fool’s worship to make them more open to her influence, she thought with a beatific smile.  “Good evening, peasants,” she purred into the microphone, “I am the Queen of the World, and you will all bow before me.”

        With that, she began to croon into the microphone, lacing each word with as much charm as she could muster.  Well, that and some rather unsubtle commands, but she was sure that her singing voice would compensate for her lackluster songwriting ability.  The idols behind her snapped into motion, dancing and entwining their voices with her own, and the Queen lost herself in singing about the merits of submitting to her eternal rule.

        A flurry of fireworks exploded behind her as the song came into a close, and she eagerly looked out over the crowd to see how well her plan had succeeded, delicious thoughts of what she could do with so much manpower whirling through her mind.  To her utter confusion though, the crowd wasn’t staring up at her with rapt adoration, and the murmuring that had met her first appearance now had grown into a rumble of furious voices punctuated by the occasional angry shriek.  “Um, bow my slaves.  You really should pay better attention to your queen,” she said nervously.

        This did little to calm the mass of humanity, and the muttering grew into a screeching howl as a wave of furious teenaged girls slammed into her cordon of servants and tried to scramble up onto the stage.  She shouted more commands at the scantily clad harpies, but it was with a growing horror that she realized that her defilement of these girl’s idols had made them too furious to be susceptible to charming.

        Her slaves fought as well as they could against the girls trying to fight their way towards her, but the women didn’t seem to feel pain or fear, only a rage that twisted their youthful faces into those of monsters.  Even worse, for every one of them that feel to her servant’s fists, ten more of the furious teenagers seemed to take their place.  She staggered back, already turning to run as she saw the line of her servants break under the crowd’s assault.   “To me, you fools,” she screeched, hoping to call the servants that weren’t busy being mauled by packs of tweens to her side, and fled towards the back doors of the building.

        A pitiful remnant of her posse formed around her, fending off the quicker members of the crowd that was pursuing them, with the boy band joining the group last.  That’s it, she thought desperately as the stage began to creak under the weight of hundreds of screaming fans.  “You, singers,” she screamed, pointing at the five idols, “Distract them long enough for your queen to escape!”

        The group nodded and turned to face their screeching fans, wading into the crowd with almost suicidal bravery.  The attacks on her posse dropped off as the crowd seemed to direct its attention at the five boys, and the Queen praised the gods for her brilliant mind as she finally reached the back doors and flung them open.  Her slaves streamed through the opening, and she ordered them to start the chariot and prepare to flee.  She glanced back before she slipped through the doorway, and shuddered at the horror of the sight before her.  The swarm of girls, seemingly driven mad by her sacrilege, was busy tearing the clothes from the boy band and fulfilling their fevered dreams.

 

        Queen looked at her greatly reduced pack of servants with a sigh of disappointment.  It really was difficult to find good help nowadays, though she made a note to choose strong looking individuals as servants rather than the most physically attractive ones like she normally did.  When she couldn’t bear looking at her ragged band of followers any more, she settled deeper into her seat and watched the scenery pass as her chauffer drove her chariot home.  To help improve her mood, she busily set to thinking up her next evil plot.  She eventually decided that a good heist was exactly what she needed, it would help shore up her finances while not being too rough on the help.  What to steal though?  

        Her eyes idly wandered across a billboard as she thought of various things to steal, and sudden recognition caused her to snap upright in her chair.  “Driver, to the side of the road.  Now!” she snapped.

The man obeyed immediately, drifting across a few lanes of traffic and causing cars to swerve desperately out of their way, before coming to a stop in front of the billboard.  The Queen stared up at the intricate set of ancient Egyptian jewelry that the board was advertising and couldn’t help a perfectly villainous cackle from bursting from her lips.  

        It seems the universe wanted to make up for her disappointment earlier, she thought with a feral smile, that very set belonged to her cousin.  The bitch had been a constant thorn in her side, and had constantly conspired against her in court, and those very jewels had been her pride and joy.  Sure, the vile little rat was long dead, but stealing them would be something of a payback.  Considerably happier, especially since she’d be stealing from one of the most secure locations in the city, she barked, “Driver, bring me to this museum immediately!”

        The man floored it, and her chariot roared along the streets with utter disregard for traffic laws and anybody else on the road.  Within only a few minutes they had pulled up to the rather imposing structure, and what remained of the Queen’s posse gathered around her as she stepped from the vehicle.  Once formed up, the group wandered around to the side of the building.  As much as the Queen would love to burst in through the front door, she wanted as much time to find and steal the jewels as possible before any heroes turned up, especially with how ragged her slaves were looking.

        An open and unattended service entrance served as a convenient entry point, and she was soon wandering through the exhibits, mentally cataloging the trappings of royalty from countless civilizations hungrily.  Yes, she would definitely have to properly conquer this building when she had more servants, there was no better way to show her superiority than covering herself with the finery of ancient kings and queens.

        She forced herself to resist the temptation for now, which was a rather strange feeling for her to be honest, and focused on finding her cousin’s gaudy jewelry.  She saw a few familiar sarcophaguses that she recognized, deduced that it was as likely a place as any to find her target, and was soon wandering through the remnants of her civilization.  It really was insulting that these peasants had stolen so much from the tombs of her peers, she thought with a sneer, she would have to rectify this situation as quickly as possible.

        Dragging her mind back to her mission with a great deal of difficulty, she finally caught sight of her target nestled in between some statues of that insufferable prick Tutankahmun.  “Slaves?  Bring your queen her proper vestments,” she said imperiously, pointing at the case that contained the jewels.

        Almost as a single body, the men and women of her posse charged forward and slammed into the thick glass, shattering it in a rather impressive display of brute strength.  The Queen started cackling in joy as one of her servants reverently draped the necklace around her throat and offered up the earrings.  The sirens that were blaring ruined the moment somewhat, but she was in entirely too good of a mood to let such a trivial detail ruin the occasion.  This –more- than made up for the debacle this morning, she thought as she wandered towards an emergency exit.  A few guards tried to tackle her, but they were quickly charmed and joined the posse around her.

        Just as she was about to make her elegant getaway, two familiar silhouettes blocked her way.  “Desu-chan and Tentacle Monster, you just had to try to stop me,” she growled, staring at the couple with a look of pure hatred.

        “We’d never let you get away with such villainy, especially when you are ruining my date with Tentacle-chan,” the woman said, changing into her preposterously overwrought dress with a burst of hearts and lilies.

        The Tentacle Monster seemed to agree, squeaking and squelching while waving its appendages in a way that the Queen found decidedly horrifying.  Seemingly understanding the stream of sounds perfectly, Desu-chan smiled widely and said, “Of course my love!”

        The Queen shuddered at this display of affection and waved her minions forward, “Just…just destroy them or something.  I’ll try to escape.”

        She couldn’t fault her minions, they charged forward with proper elan, but they were clearly outmatched.  Desu-chan slammed a giant fan into some of them, sending them flying comically through the ceiling, while the Tentacle Monster dragged a number of them into its slimy clutches.  The Queen looked away before she could see the fate those poor fools were subjected to, and tried her best to skirt around the fight and sneak through a nearby fire exit.  She heard the squealing of the beast behind her intensify as one of the guards that she had charmed managed to fire his tazer, but this just seemed to make Tentacle Monster’s appendages move all the faster.

        Shuddering in horror, the Queen managed to get her hand on the door handle when she felt something warm and sticky land on her leg.  “Sweet Wadjet, save me,” was all she could get out before she was dragged backwards.

Tentacles surrounded her in a heartbeat, writhing all over her body in a way that not even her worse nightmares could match.  She closed her eyes, preparing for the end or an even worse fate, but looked up in confusion as most of the slick arms pulled away, clutching the jewels that she had worked so hard to steal.  “Good job Tentacle-chan!  Now we can return these to the museum,” Desu-chan screeched in a high falsetto, “Now keep her restrained until the police arrive!”

        The Queen looked down at the single tentacle that was wrapped around her with a look of utter distaste.  She refused to have her day end in any further shame, especially the sheer indignity of being captured by…that thing.  Drawing in a deep breath, she resorted to her last, most desperate option.  She lunged down and bit into the rubbery flesh of Tentacle Monster.  The thing squealed in surprise, and the Queen muttered a rather unladylike curse as she hit the ground, but she was up and running within seconds.  A few mooks managed to stagger upright and follow her as she broke through the emergency exit.  “And now I’ll have to take a shower,” she hissed as she staggered towards her chariot.

        Back in the museum, Desu-chan lovingly stroked her partner’s wounded arm, cooing, “Don’t worry senpai, we can always fight her again later, I’ve got to make sure you are healed.  More importantly, we’ve managed to rescue priceless historical artifacts!”

        She leaned down and kissed the bite mark, and it quickly healed in a puff of hearts.  Tentacle-chan wriggled in happiness and wrapped a few tentacles around her in a loving embrace.  “Hey now, I’m trying to kiss it better, stop trying to be lewd,” she said with an adorable giggle, but the wounded tentacle ‘accidently’ slipped into her mouth.

        “Nohd ihm pubwic, dahs soo lewh” she moaned around the offending appendage that was wriggling around her mouth, though she leaned deeper into the former villain’s embrace.

 

        The Queen staggered back home, sticky, tired, and thoroughly miserable.  Even worse, only three of her slaves were left, the others having been maimed by teenagers or suffered a fate worse than death in the grip of the Tentacle Monster.  The sheer scale of all of her failures weighed down on her, and she snapped orders at the lazy servants, telling them to at least walk with proper posture, or yelling at them for the terrible disrepair of their clothing.  Still, she knew it was a pitiful attempt to keep her self-esteem up, and it did little to improve her mood.

        Just as she was about to yell at one for having her bra visible, she noticed an upscale store about a block from her house.  She vaguely remembered the interior being full of treats, which sounded like just the remedy for her ills.  Her minions, seemingly knowing exactly what she had planned, kicked open the door of the store and fanned through the aisles, snatching up chocolate bars and bottles of pricy liquor as they passed.  “Um, ma’am?  Y-you can’t do that…,” the clerk behind the counter said nervously, slowly sidling towards the door that her servants had broken.

        The Queen sighed, then quickly charmed the girl before she could make a break for it.  She was probably cute enough, the Queen thought irritably, and she –really- didn’t want to get caught by the police if she ran for help.  She watched her minion’s progress with a weary smile as they stuffed valuable treats into whatever containers they could find and headed back to her lair.  At least this was going well.  Just as she was about to head home and take a much needed shower, she heard some vague chattering behind her.  “…and then we actually dogpiled that villain!  Can you believe it, we actually won for once!  We totally have to spend some of this paycheck on a bottle of something bubbly, we need to celebrate.”

        Something inside her finally snapped and she whipped around with a growl, ready to rip whatever fools were interrupting her moping time to pieces, but stopped dead as she saw the Rainbow Rangers wander into the shop.  “Um, sorry to bother ya, but is this place still open,” the short pudgy one asked.

        The Queen of the World could only stare at the idiot in wonder.  What she assumed was the leader of the small group slapped the short one’s helmet.  “She’s a villain that’s robbing the place!  Quick, put your guard up,” the woman in teal hissed, before turning to face the Queen, “Surrender now, evil-doer!”

        She finally couldn’t hold it in any longer.  Her laughter rang through the shop until tears rolled down her cheeks and her sides ached.  It took her a good thirty seconds to compose herself again but she faced the group of inept fools with a smile on her face.  This was just what she needed.  No matter how bad her day was going, at least she would always be better than these saps.  She pointed at the group vaguely and settled down on the counter, eager to watch the show.

        Her minions staggered towards the Rangers threateningly, though their ragged clothing and countless bruises ruined the effect somewhat.  To her surprise though, the Rangers actually put up something of a decent fight.  Punches seemed to bounce off their costumes and helmets, and they were actually fighting with something resembling group tactics.  Sure, their punches were as terrible as their garish costumes, but her slaves were actually being pushed back.

        “Never send peasants to do a queen’s work,” she said haughtily, hopping off the counter and sauntering towards the rangers.

        They all looked at her in confusion, which brought a warm smile to her face.  Ah, she loved it when fools made her work easy.  She threw what little charm she had into her gaze, and said sternly, “Bow before your master, you worthless heroes.”

        Only one, the short pudgy guy, began to slowly get down on his knees.  She looked at him, utterly horrified.  Her powers had become that weak?  The teal ranger gave him a slap on the helmet again and shouted, “What are you doing you idiot?  We got mirrored lenses with the money Rena gave us for just this kind of situation!”

        The pudgy hero looked from one woman to the other a few times before stuttering, “But she sounds really scary…”

        “I’M SCARY.  Now get back to fighting,” the woman roared, dropping one of the Queen’s servants with a wild haymaker.

        The Queen could only stare as the group of useless heroes gave her minions a beating.  Even though the lankier one was tackled, all of her minion’s attacks seemed to bounce off his upgraded costume, and his flailing around on the floor managed to knock the store clerk’s head into a counter and knock her out cold.  The Teal Ranger, the only seemingly competent one, dropped another one with a punch that looked vaguely like something the Queen had seen Chet use, and the last of her posse was felled by a bottle awkwardly thrown by the chubby ranger.

        The Teal Ranger, her path to the Queen finally clear, leapt at the villain with a shout of ‘For justice!’, and punched her in the eye.  The Queen of the World rocked back on the balls of her feet, mind trying to comprehend the fact that she had just been struck by the lowest of peasants, when the adventurous snake that she always wore around her neck launched forward and landed on the Teal Ranger’s face.  The woman’s incessant screaming brought the Queen out of her shock, and she watched the hero flail around and knock the other rangers to the ground in her efforts to get the small reptile off of her as it began to slither towards her waist.

        For the third, and most humiliating time, the Queen fled, running from the store to her house as what little self-esteem she had came crumbling to the ground.  She trudged towards her house, cursing the world and every hero in it.  There was simply no way that her day could get any worse, she thought, before suddenly coming to a halt as she realized a terrible truth.  She hadn’t even been able to steal some of that chocolate before she had fled.

        The crushing despair meant that she missed the footsteps of a certain cat-eared person behind her, though.