Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Guest

The Fluffy Dam Bursts

By: eleven on Jul 29th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 17.90 KB  |  hits: 307  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >you've recently lost everything
  2. >well, not everything; you still have your house and your money, but material positions mean nothing to you in the grand scheme of things
  3. >what's really bothering you is the fact that you lost your daughter
  4. >your wife, she couldn't give a shit about her, but she won custody, just because she knows you wanted her
  5. >in court, they testified against you; you heard your daughter say, with a completely straight face, that she didn't love you anymore
  6. >The look in her eyes while she said it; there was absolutely no emotion at all; it was haunting
  7. >You haven't been able to cope properly; alcohol and cocaine have become your new family
  8. >Eventually, as with all of these sorts of situations, they don't become enough; the loneliness always finds a way of coming back and haunting you
  9. >You don't want to get rid of the loneliness, at least, not right now; right now, you're determined to do something about the anger first
  10. >The anger is what started all of this; if you can do something about that, you can cope with the rest; “cut off the head and the body will die”, as it were
  11. >You know exactly how to go about doing this: fluffy ponies
  12. >Fluffy ponies, all they know how to do is love
  13. >All you knew how to do was love; this shitty office job, all of the overtime, that second job you had to take for a bit when your daughter was in the hospital, it was all for them
  14. >Now they're gone, and so is the love
  15. >Those fluffy ponies, they need the love sucked out of them too
  16. >They were created in a lab, specifically engineered to be showered with love and affection and doing nothing whatsoever to deserve it
  17. >What a way they choose to show gratitude too; destroying heirlooms, shitting everywhere, whining and stamping their hooves when they don't get their way; absolutely lamentable behavior
  18. >These fluffy ponies, they remind you of an animal version of your wife
  19. >You don't like your wife that much right now
  20. >After work in the next few days, you stop by a fluffy pony shelter
  21. >Specifically ask if they have any pregnant fluffy ponies
  22. >Smirk while the lady behind the counter comments about how kind of a soul you are to want to take care of a family
  23. >Apparently you're in luck; they just got one in that day
  24. >A pretty orange dam with a red mane; she doesn't look very far along
  25. >You fill out the necessary paperwork and pick up all of the necessary accoutrements
  26. >Your new fluffy is over the moon; babbling and squeeing with delight at the prospect of having a home to raise her family in
  27. >According to one of the workers, that one was dropped off by a concerned woman who found her rummaging through garbage, crying and yelling something about “needing a home for her babies”
  28. >Given the shape she was in and the way she was acting, she was a pet that was raped; her owner barely wanted to care for her, let alone a whole family of fluffies, so she was abandoned
  29. >You just had to shake your head at how perfect all of this was
  30. >You get your fluffy pony home and instruct her on all of the basics
  31. >Where the litterbox was, her safe room, all of the usual stuff
  32. >It shouldn't take her that long to adapt to everything
  33. >You name her “Flu”, short for “superfluous”
  34. >It's good to know that, even through all of this, you still have a sense of humor
  35. >You two start becoming acquainted; her constant kisses and declarations of “Fwoo wuv daddy!” would be adorable under any other circumstances
  36. >She becomes more and more pregnant, getting to the point where she can't walk on her own
  37. >At the end she just sort of lays by your feet, watching TV with you
  38. >You look down and smile, patting her on the head and thanking her for keeping your toes warm
  39. >Of course, the moment of truth finally arrives
  40. >”Uh oh daddeh! Fwoo need make big poopies!”
  41. >You pick her up and squeeze the foals out over the sink; there's no sense in letting this take more time than it has to
  42. >With momma and her foals nice and cleaned off, you put all of them in an old dog bed you had in your basement
  43. >You haven't seen anything this happy in a very, very long time
  44. >You're all a big happy family for a while
  45. >You help Flu love her foals, and they in turn love you back
  46. >You make sure they always have enough food and water
  47. >They get all of the hugs and attention that foals need
  48. >With how much love you're showing them, it's beginning to rub off
  49. >These fluffies are remarkably well-behaved, playing well together, actually sharing toys
  50. >There's a bit of conflict when it comes to their mothers' milk, but that's totally natural
  51. >Everything's smiles, love, happiness, hugs, and spaghetti
  52. >It's time to pull the fucking plug
  53. >Before starting the transition, you re-listen to the last voicemail message your daughter ever left you
  54. >She sounded cold and distant, not unlike you at that particular moment
  55. >At the end, you could hear her mother calling to her from the distance
  56. >Everyone sounded happy; there might've even been a hint of laughter
  57. >This was enough to send you over the edge
  58. >You leave your bedroom and go over to the living room where it was currently feeding time for the happy family
  59. >You pat Flu on the head and sit on the couch, waiting patiently for everything to get started
  60. >She had 3 foals in total; two females and one male
  61. >They were only a little over a week old, but thanks to your care, they had been developing slightly ahead of schedule
  62. >They had already taken to talking and, while they couldn't do it for long distances, even walking
  63. >The male was slightly bigger than his sisters of course, always protecting them against any potentially scary lamp posts and remote controls that may cross their path
  64. >He would puff up his chest and stamp his hooves at whatever it was and whenever they didn't get a response, they would all hug and cheer
  65. >You don't have much experience with fluffy ponies, but you suspect that you'd enjoy the brave ones; the crushing disappointment in their eyes whenever they realize that they're completely worthless and weak must be a joy to witness
  66. >After they're all done feeding, they all either go back to playing or taking a nap while Flu watches over them
  67. >You hadn't put much thought into how you were going to torture them, but it couldn't be that hard to figure out
  68. >As long as it happened in front of Flu, that's all that really mattered
  69. >You decide to test the waters first, see what happens when one of her fluffies was out of her reach for the first time
  70. >You pick up one of the female fluffies, telling Flu that she's dirty and that you're just going to clean her off
  71. >Flu starts panicking, sitting up and stretching her arms out, tears forming in her eyes
  72. >”NUUU! Babbeh need mummah! Mummah cwean babbeh!”
  73. >Despite the fact that you've always shown her and her foals love and affection, she still doesn't trust you with them
  74. >This is the exact response you were looking for
  75. >You take the foal over to the sink and pretend to clean her off
  76. >She only seems to be upset about everything because her mother was, whining and fidgeting in your hand
  77. >”Fwuffy no wan' wawa! Wawa bad fo' fwuffy! Fwuffy nee' mama!”
  78. >”It'll be OK, you have nothing to worry about!” At least, not yet...
  79. >You set the foal back down, she waddles over into her mothers' arms
  80. >Flu gives her a big hug
  81. >”It's OK babbeh; daddeh dun' mean huwt...”
  82. >Hurt? All you were doing was giving her a fucking bath!
  83. >Whatever; it's not worth even thinking about
  84. >Everything goes back to the way it was for the time being
  85. >Flu was a bit wary of you after that, but you redeemed yourself in her eyes when you gave them some spaghetti that night with cheese melted over the top of it
  86. >Such a delicacy is completely unfathomable to the fluffy pony, they treat it like it's the highest honor they could receive
  87. >That night, while you're trying to sleep, you hear crying from the hallway outside your room
  88. >You turn on your bedroom light and pick her up
  89. >It's the fluffy foal you tried to wash; I guess you forgot to shut the safe room door all the way
  90. >She's crying her eyes out about how she needed to make poopies, but she got trapped in the “scawwy dawk”
  91. >I guess she got scared to the point where she forgot how to poop
  92. >You bring her over a trash can and gently squeeze her, helping her out a bit
  93. >Afterwards, she's all smiles; she even tries to hug your thumb
  94. >”Fank yoo daddeh! Fwuffy wub yoo! Hewp fund momma?”
  95. >You smile and you take her back to her safe room; similar cries tell you that Flu had woken up and decided one of her children was missing; why are fluffy ponies so possessive? It's not like they can do anything about it...
  96. >You set her back down; Flu, yet again gives her a big hug
  97. >This time she looks up at you lovingly
  98. >”Fank yoo daddy! Fwoo can' wuv babbehs wifout daddeh!”
  99. >Let's put that to the test, shall we? Tomorrow, they all die
  100. >To prepare for all of this, you've taken on a project that allows you to work from home
  101. >This of course allows you to spend more time with your fluffy ponies
  102. >They really are adorable; always full of smiles and the kind of innocence you yourself wished you could possess
  103. >Even things as simple as traveling across the floor to retrieve a toy was a life-changing experience to them
  104. >Today, as if it were any other day, you let your fluffies play in the living room
  105. >The male plays in the corner by himself, acting as the great hunter he so desperately wishes he could be, pouncing after balls and curtains
  106. >The other female, the one you're not as familiar with and the only one with wings, decides to try and take to flying
  107. >She's still a baby so her wings aren't even fully developed yet, but she's set on not letting that hold her back, even though it's been scientifically proven (in that they did it deliberately) that fluffy pegasi aren't able to fly
  108. >Eventually she tires herself out and gives up, usually starting to cry out of exhaustion
  109. >Her big (by virtue of the fact that he was born first) brother sees this and decides to try and help her out, all the while the baby of the family is cuddling with her mother
  110. >What a great life Flu has had; it's probably better than anything she could've ever imagined
  111. >She can die happy now, knowing that she's accomplished literally everything a fluffy pony mother could
  112. >She's not going to die ha-well, you know
  113. >You walk over to Flu and the foals and sit down on the ground
  114. >They waddle over to you, looking for huggies
  115. >The one with the wings hugs your knee; you pick her up first
  116. >She laughs at first, thinking you're about to play a game
  117. >You pet her for a bit until you pretend to look concerned
  118. >”Oh oh!”
  119. >”Wut wong, daddy?”
  120. >”Your wings are crooked!”
  121. >Fluffy pony looks terrified
  122. >”NUUU! WUT WONG WIF FWUFFY!? HEWP FWUFFY!”
  123. >Everyone else starts crying and hugging; it's like a misery orgy up in this piece
  124. >You pick her up and try to comfort her
  125. >”Don't worry little one! I can help you!”
  126. >You show the fluffy some fishing hooks and line your brought up from the basement
  127. >She looks apprehensive at first: “Wut shiny fing fow?”
  128. >You ignore her; you're done being nice to these things
  129. >You dig a fishing hook into each wing, causing the fluffy to yelp out with pain
  130. >”OWWIE! WY HUWT FWUFFY!?”
  131. >Flu looks on; she's a bit concerned, but she trusts you
  132. >You tie some fishing line to each end and grab on, pulling until it looks like she's an Olympic gymnast performing the rings
  133. >Fluffy is still crying in pain and Flu's still tensing up
  134. >All 4 of her hooves are off the ground at this point; she's almost thrashing in pain
  135. >”NUUUUU! NO MO' HUWT FWUFFY! WANT WINGIES!”
  136. >Again you offer no response as you continue to pull, her fluff starting to stretch with the actual wings
  137. >Flu's in tears at the point, but she hasn't tried to stop you yet
  138. >Finally the ripping sounds you were looking for show up as her wings give, coming clear off
  139. >Flu and the little one run to her aid, the stallion puffs up his cheeks and tries to attack you
  140. >”Wy daddy take fwuffy wingies!? Fwuffy need wingies to fwy! Giv fwuffy back her wingies!”
  141. >He bucks you in the knee, trying to get his point across
  142. >You grab him by the scruff of his neck and look at him sternly
  143. >”Now fluffy, what did I tell you about trying to hurt others? You could've given me a nasty bruise!”
  144. >He looks up at you, confused
  145. >”But yoo take fwuffy wingies! Fwuffy no huwt!”
  146. >You shake your head
  147. >”First you try and hurt my knee, and now insubordination! I'm sorry fluffy, but this can't go unpunished!”
  148. >His front has completely crumbled, going from trying to look intimidating to now peeing everywhere
  149. >”NUUUU! FWUFFY SOWWY!”
  150. >”It's too late for that now!”
  151. >You pick up the fluffy stallion; he has his hooves over his eyes before you ever get him in the palm of your hand
  152. >The beautiful part about pampering fluffy ponies is that they don't know how to respond to punishment, should it ever come their way
  153. >You so much as look at them sternly for a split second longer than you normally do, they crumble; it's glorious
  154. >You walk with the stallion into the kitchen; Flu follows you, sobbing and begging for you to give you back her son
  155. >”NUUUU! GIV MOMMA FWUFFY BACK! MOMMA MAKE FWUFFY SOWWY! PWOMISE!”
  156. >These things are just about the worst negotiators you've ever been made privy to; maybe you would've fared better if you had one as a lawyer
  157. >The kitchen, for whatever reason, is the only room in your house with a fan in it; you tie some fishing line to one end and the other to the fluffy pony
  158. >You let go; you can't help but chuckle watching him kick his hooves desperately
  159. >”FWUFFY WAN' DOWN! PWEASE WET FWUFFY DOWN!” HUU HUU HUU!”
  160. >You turn the fan on on its lowest setting; as it starts spinning, the fluffy lets out another blood curdling scream
  161. >Flu, at this point, finally catches on that this isn't your average discipline; she used to live in a house before this, she somewhat understands the ropes
  162. >She decides to try and do something about it
  163. >As you're watching the fluffy stallion fly (and eventually puke everywhere), she comes over and tugs on your pants
  164. >She tries to look as stern as a fluffy pony can; of course, she's as intimidating as a hug
  165. >”BWING FWUFFY DOWN! YOO NOT DADDY, YOO MUNSTAH! FWOO WAN BABBEH BACK NOW!”
  166. >Now you have her stamping her hooves; jeez, such malevolence
  167. >You shrug and grab a pair of scissors; “Like this?” you say as you cut the line
  168. >The fluffy flies into a wall with a thud; Flu lets out another yelp and runs over to him
  169. >She hugs him, doing everything within her power to try and make him feel better
  170. >He yelps in pain; you must've broken some bones
  171. >With Flu subdued, you go back to the living room; the smallest one is now tending to the now wingless pegasus
  172. >You pick her up, she looks at you right in your eyes
  173. >She's too scared to move
  174. >You tell her to stick out her tongue; not sure if she's refusing, or just too scared to respond
  175. >Regardless, you force her mouth open and grab her tongue
  176. >You jam a fish hook into her tongue; her screams are muffled by your hands
  177. >Flu's still a sobbing mess at your feet, pleading for you not to hurt her babies anymore
  178. >After tying some line to the hook, you dangle this fluffy off the ground
  179. >She's too small to even kick her hooves properly
  180. >You walk with her dangling through the house, prolonging her suffering; tears are streaming out of her eyes
  181. >Once you make it to the kitchen, you pull an Indiana Jones and spin her around your head for a few revolutions before smashing her on the kitchen table
  182. >You drop her in front of Flu so that she has a nice view of her foal bleeding to death
  183. >At Flu starts to hug the dying fluffy, but then she remembers the unattended one in the living room
  184. >She dashes as fast as she can to the living room, picking her up by the scruff of her neck with her mouth and sprints to the safe room
  185. >She tries desperately to close the door, but it's no use, there's absolutely nothing she can do to stop you
  186. >Despite this, you play along for a bit, pretending that you have no idea where they went
  187. >When you make it back to the safe room, you see a big puddle of piss underneath the overturned dog bed
  188. >You turn on the light, pretending to do your best “Jack Nicholson in the Shining” impression
  189. >”Now where did Flu and Worthless go? I've checked all over the rest of the house, they've completely disappeared! I have no idea where to look!”
  190. >Miraculously, you hear a faint voice from the bed: “Dun wowwy babbeh, munstah can' see us; we'll be fine.”
  191. >Is...is she actually trying to reassure this thing? Are these things really that fuckin' stupid? Oh my God!
  192. >You turn on the light, Flu lets out a tiny, frightened yelp
  193. >The Shining gives way to Jurassic Park as you wander around the room
  194. >You make it over to the bed and stand over it; you count to three before flipping it over
  195. >You hear the loudest sound to ever come from a fluffy pony as they try to get away
  196. >Fluffy ponies can run, but not very fast, and not for ver long; their hooves are just too prohibitively stumpy
  197. >They make it to the doorway before Flu trips and knocks herself silly, sending the foal flying
  198. >You calmly walk over, taking a screwdriver out of your hand and picking up the foal, kneeling next to Flu
  199. >She knows what's happening next; she's crying softly
  200. >Regardless, she tries one last time: “Pwease dun' huwt babbeh; babbeh dun' huwt hooman.”
  201. >In one motion, you sink the screwdriver into the right eye of the fluffy foal
  202. >One ear piercing scream later, you drop the foal on the ground in front of Flu and walk away
  203. >Walking back into the living room, you pretend that nothing happened
  204. >Eventually, Flu walk into the room, looking at the ground
  205. >”Pwease kiww' fwuffy. Fwuffy wan' die; see babbehs.”
  206. >You shake your head
  207. >”Why would I kill you? You're worth so much more to me alive.”
  208. >Grabbing Flu you walk outside and throw her into the street
  209. >She limps down the sidewalk, not making a sound
  210. >You go back into your bedroom and listen to that answering machine message one more time
  211. >Smiling and shaking your head, you delete it
  212. >You go to clean up all of the blood and corpses