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Nothing of Value Was Lost

By: eleven on Jul 19th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.03 KB  |  hits: 151  |  expires: Never
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  1. >be an earth fluffy pony
  2. >be absolutely adorable!
  3. >aqua green fluff and mane; you're all one color!
  4. >that apparently makes you really special!
  5. >the really nice hoomans you live with make sure you have plenty of huggies and nummies
  6. >they even give you your own big red ball to play with! All of the other dummy fluffies have to share!
  7. >Today starts just like every other day; you're let out of your cage at the same time as all the other fluffies
  8. >You get your own bowl with what they call "bweakfast nummies" in it
  9. >In reality it's just shredded newspaper with fettucini sauce poured over it
  10. >Of course, you and the other fluffy ponies don't know any better; they all look incredibly jealous as you eat
  11. >You make sure to savor each bite, grinning ear to ear
  12. >During play time, you're given your own ball
  13. >The other fluffies call fowl once again and get punished if they try and take your ball
  14. >Smile smugly as you play in the corner by yourself
  15. >"Ugwy and dummy fwuffies dun' get baww or bweakfast sketties! I bettuh fwuffy den aww of yoo!"
  16. >You're the happiest a fluffy pony can be
  17. >Suddenly, without warning, a bunch of meanie hoomans wearing wiot geyuh break down daddy's door
  18. >They start clubbing and tazing all of your friends
  19. >You cower in fear, putting your hooves over your eyes and hoping they don't see you
  20. >Of course, you were laying in the middle of the floor like an asshole
  21. >You get picked up violently by your neck fluff
  22. >You can't help yourself, you decide to try and plead for your life
  23. >"NUUUUU! FWUFFY GOOD FWUFFY! ALL OVAH FWUFFIES DUM FWUFFIES, DESERVE OWIES! FWUFFY WAN' BAWW!"
  24. >They aren't convinced; in one quick motion, they snap your neck
  25. >You try to cry out in fear; your voice doesn't work anymore; you die almost immediately
  26. >Your humans "raised" fluffy ponies as a front to a drug smuggling ring
  27. >The reason you were treated so well was because they hid a lot of their product in your fluff; your ball featured several thousand dollars worth of crushed diamonds mixed with cocaine for some reason
  28. >Nothing of value was lost
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