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Dale TAFPSE: Prelude to Fluff Removal

By: eleven on Jul 18th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.91 KB  |  hits: 121  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Be Dale the asshole fluffy pony shelter employee/Superfluff's bitch
  2. >You'd wish that someone would finally buy him and get him off your hands
  3. >You recently found out that he's not for sale anymore, just to annoy you
  4. >It's fucking working
  5. >Go through your normal routine of cleaning up after him and playing with him
  6. >During play time, every once in a while he kisses you on the cheek
  7. >It's impossible for him to know any better, but you'd almost assume he's doing this shit on purpose
  8. >Every time you roll the ball to him, the same shit happens: he coils up like a lion ready to attack a gazelle, but then misses completely and then falls on his face; it'd be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic
  9. >After this happens like 3 or 4 times, like clockwork, he starts crying
  10. >This is the part you hate the most: consoling him back to regular fluffy standard false hope
  11. >Today, just to get it over with quicker, you cradle him like a baby and rock him back and forth gently
  12. >His cries turn into babbles which in turn lull him to sleep
  13. >He's taken to calling you “daddy”; how delightful
  14.  >Every day you end your shift by personally locking him in his cage
  15. >He starts crying again whenever he sees you leave
  16. >”Wew daddy go!? Dun weave supahfwuff! Waaaah!”
  17. >This makes other fluffy ponies think they have a chance of winning your affection too
  18. >Every once in a while, during play or meal time, another one of the bigger fluffy ponies push Superfluff out of the way and try to state their case as to why you should be their daddy
  19. >He starts crying again as this new fluffy prances around like it thought it was a fucking Lipizzaner stallion
  20. >At the very least, this gives you a chance to use the sorry stick; there's a very strict “play nice” policy that must be adhered to at all times
  21. >Unfortunately, Superfluff sees you do this and thinks you're going to do it to him; he starts fussing and cowering now whenever you try to feed or bathe him
  22. >If you were to just show up one day and savagely beat every fluffy pony in this place with a crowbar, how much trouble do you think you'd get in really?
  23. >The state doesn't really consider them animals, and there never was enough of an incentive for groups like PETA to get involved
  24. >There was a video that got leaked onto the Internet of them trying to shoot a commercial for an attempted fluffy pony campaign; seeing Sarah McLachlan punt one of those things like a football was glorious
  25. >Someone even tried to start ASPCFP; during the ribbon cutting ceremony, the founder snapped at a pack of fluffies that wouldn't stop whining; stabbed one right in the eye with those giant scissors
  26. >You only got this job because your parents caught you selling weed
  27. >Yeah; getting out of the house really did me a world of good; hit the nail on the head there Mom...
  28. >You never really needed the money; eventually you decide it's local news story or bust
  29. >This is going to be one of the greatest days of your life
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