Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Guest

Painted Fluff - Marked

By: droidfluff on Jun 23rd, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.97 KB  |  hits: 40  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. > Be painted fluff cart owner.
  2. > Talking with a customer.
  3. > Or trying to at least; his street pidgin is terrible.
  4. > After a minute or two, you flip on a babel app.
  5. > He wants a flank mark for his pet fluffy.
  6. > Simple and straightforward, it's the standard commision from which you make your living.
  7. > Hand him a touch-screen, let him flip through designs.
  8. > Less than half a minute passes, he chooses a rose.
  9. > Don't complain, simple is good, simple is fast.
  10. > Quote him the price.
  11. > He seems incredulous.
  12. "You are deceiving me. Of which you spoke additional hairy could be purchased in quantities."
  13. > You tell him so could paper.
  14. > Explain that the price is for the service and skill, rather than for the mark itself.
  15. > He argues that it's just a rose.
  16. > After a few minutes of haggling via translation software, you come to a price.
  17. > Primarily motivated out of annoyance, honestly.
  18. > You begin discussing a time for him to bring his fluffy in.
  19. > He holds up his hand and darts away.
  20. > A minute later he comes back with a pet carrier, a fat light blue fluffy snoring inside.
  21. > Your annoyance grows.
  22. > Ask him when last it ate.
  23. "Your concerns are not. The hairy is filled with pastas and very delicious feedings to purchase sleep."
  24. > Smile and nod, while idly considering turning the profanity filter on.
  25.  
  26. > You pull the blue fluffy out of its carrier.
  27. > It yawns, dumbly looking at you through half-lidded eyes.
  28. "Shall we worship?"
  29. > Qirin, your pet unicorn fluffy, trots over.
  30. "You are wrong and foolishly soft. Father is going to Reggae music and wonderful paintings make."
  31. > You snort; the translation software isn't optimized for fluffy speech.
  32. > Also, their conversation is being repeated in a deep male baritone.
  33. > The blue fluffy looks around, confused.
  34. "Who is that? What is invisible witchcraft saying? Where is softness? Where father?"
  35. > You point the fluff at it's owner, who is wandering over to some of the other stalls in the market.
  36. > He looks back and waves, before turning back to a music vendor.
  37. > Better get started then.
  38. > Unfortunately, judging by the weight and feel of the rotund fluff, this isn't going to be a clean one.
  39. > Put on smock and gloves.
  40. > Standard latex rather than the rapid-set microtouch gel.
  41. > Less flexibility and sensitivity, but quality has lost out to time and money for this task.
  42. > Lay down plastic around your work area.
  43. > Now to get this over with.
  44.  
  45. > Pull out a plastic bag.
  46. > Quickly wrap it around the bottom half of the blue fluffy, securing it with a rubber band.
  47. > It immediately begins whining.
  48. "What is man to do? No. I don't need comfortably soft loose-fitteng pants. Why?"
  49. > In a single motion you wrap it's forelegs with another rubber band, before placing it on the counter.
  50. "What? No. This isn't the same. No. Stop it."
  51. > You bend down to a nearby drawer.
  52. > Qirin gives a frightened yip, and bolts to the front of the cart.
  53. > The blue fluffy grows more panicked.
  54. "I do not like this. I want to knit."
  55. > Hit a switch, changing the cart lighting to a dark red glow.
  56. "No. This isn't the same as soft. The wet softness is leaving."
  57. > Suddenly leap up howling, wearing an ogre mask and banging a metal pan with a wooden stick.
  58. > The fluffy screams.
  59. > Switch the lights back to normal, wait a minute.
  60. > Pull the struggling fluffy out of the now stinking bag, and quickly strap it into the work harness.
  61. > With one hand, flick on the electric razor and shave off a round patch of fluff on its left hind-leg.
  62. "No. What is this which is happening? I want to have a father. You are a terrible devil. No."
  63. > Still holding the squirming fluffy with your left hand, grab the marking gun.
  64. > Begin scribing a rose on its flank.
  65. > Even with it's recent evacuation, you're still having to dodge the spray from its hindquarters.  
  66. "No what knit soft go go father soft craft puppies bad no what how leave no Reggae bad-"
  67. > Should have turned off the translator.
  68.  
  69. > Three minutes later it's done.
  70. > Spray the shaved and marked flank with a disinfecting agent.
  71. > Crack a chemical heating pad, pull off the plastic film on the adhesive side, and slap it on the hindleg.
  72. > Pull the squawling fluffy free from the harness.
  73. > Back into its carrier.
  74. > You generally tell owners to bring a blanket and some toys.
  75. > Oh well.
  76. > Gather up the filthy plastic, throw in your rec bin.
  77. > Toss gloves and apron into sink, turn on the hot water and let it go.
  78. > Sit back down, let out a long exhausted sigh.
  79. > Glance over at the carrier.
  80. > Make a disgruntled noise.
  81. > Lean out of your cart, flag down the one of your neighbors.
  82. > Buy a cheap shirt.
  83. > Toss into the carrier.
  84. > Fluffy scurries underneath it, hiding.
  85. > Twenty minutes later his owner comes back, carrying his purchases.
  86. > He smiles as you tell him everything went fine, and that he should take the heating patch off in a day or two.
  87. "Very large, I have appreciation. Now ask, would like for the other leg to be a skull. You can perform?"
  88. > He holds up cash.
  89. > Well, at least it should be cleaner this time.