Title: mr. spiner's fluffyhood Author: deathproofpony Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/e7NDp1fi First Edit: Monday 3rd of September 2012 10:17:05 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 3rd of September 2012 10:17:05 PM CDT >it's a beautiful day in the fluffyhood... a beautiful day to be fluffy >wouldn't you like to be my fluffy, too? >yes, it's Mr. Spiner's Fluffyhood starring Brent Spiner! >*Brent enters his house, takes off his jacket and sneakers, puts on a velvet robe and matching slippers* >"Hello, boys and girls and fluffies. My name is Brent. Welcome to my Fluffyhood." >*Brent leans over his chair - sounds of a water bong can be heard* >"We have a big, fun-packed episode today so... will you join me, fluffy neighbors?" >*sounds of a trolley - the Fluffyhood Trolley rolls up next to Brent >"Well, hello, Mr. Trolley! How are you!" >*ding ding! twang!* >"That's great. And you have a lesson for the fluffies out there?" >*ding! ptang!* >"Very good! Now listen closely, fluffies... Mr. Trolley says... good fluffies eat their Hasbro-Brand fluffy nummies!" >*ding ding* >"BAD fluffies get... get what?" >*ding! twang!* >"Get tied to the train tracks? Oh... no..." >Trolley hauls ass before Brent can do anything, bearing down on a 3 week old fluffy foal that has been tied to the train tracks >any other animal would probably survive with a few scrapes and bruises >a baby fluffy however... >*ding ding* *POW!* >"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" >"Well, I'm sure he deserved that for something or another. Okay, good lesson... now..." >*doorbell rings* >"Why, I wonder who that could be!" >Brent answers the door, carefully tucking away the can of nitrous oxide into his robe's pocket >"What a surprise! It's Mr. McFeelie the mailman! Do you have a package for me, Mr. McFeelie?" >(starring as Mr. McFeelie is Andy Dick) >"Not for you today, but the week ain't over yet, honey!" >"That's... horrifying. So what brings you here today?" >"I actually do have something for you... sign please." >"GODDAMMIT, ANDY, I'M SIGNING YOUR DICK AGAIN!" >"Aw, c'mon... it's all in good fun." >"Are we still rolling? REALLY? Okay... fine... just give me the box." >"Here ya go!" >Mr. McFeelie drop kicks a box through the front door. it bounces off a wall and tumbles to the floor >"Hang loose, Brent!" >"Have a nice day. Christ, we should have gotten John Stamos. He needs the work..." >the box obviously has some blood stains forming on it from the inside. >various cries and howls can be heard coming from it >"Oh, for god's sake..." >Brent opens the box with a box cutter. immediately a yellow fluffy mare pops her head out. she has a black eye and a broken leg >"dat mawlman meanie! giff bad huwties!" >"Uh, yeah... good fluffies... uh... don't mess with daddy's mail. Bad fluffies get into the mail." >"wuzzat?" >Brent brains the mare with a lamp. she falls back into the box. >"For god's sake... let's follow Mr. Trolley and see what's going on in Puppequestria." >we follow Mr. Trolley - still with a bloody foal stuck to the front of him, as he travels to the magical land of Puppequestria. >Puppequestria consists of a big tree with a treehouse, a puppet-sized castle, and a small swamp >we see King Butterfluff IV, a proud royal purple fluffy with a crown, addressing his subjects >"as yu king i tank yu fo yu support! i wealize we waise taxes again but tings get betta soon!" >"boo!" >"hu boo king buddafwuff?!" >"i boo! i heawrd yu waise taxes so you get spasgettis evwynight!" >"hey, kiss mah poopies, mistah owswey!" >Mr. Owlsley is a blue fluffy pegasus with yellow mane and tail. he's kind of a dick. >"see dat? he didn deny it! he takin owr taxes an eatin spasgettis!" >the crowd of a dozen or so fluffies starts to boo the king >"hey! walph! dump da boiwin oil!" >"okay, king!" >a bigger, gray fluffy pushes a metal vat with all his might, pouring down burning oil on a couple of fluffies below >they collapse to the ground, screaming - their skin bubbling and melting off their bodies >"dat wut yu get fo cwossin king buddafwuff! dummie fwuffies!" >the king returned to his castle, trying to think of a way to deal with Mr. Owlsley >Mr. Owsley walked past the swamp, where Slug the shit-brown fluffy lived >he poked his head over a log as Owsley walked by >"hewoo mistah Owswey." >"mownin Swug." >"wha king say?" >"waise taxes again. evewyone hate king." >"i dun pay taxes on mah swamp doh! hee hee!" >"yeah but you stupid smelly fwuffy. you smell wike bad poopies. like taco bewll poopies. yuu should kiwll yuuself." >"wha... wha?" >"yuu wothwess fwuffy an evewyone hate yu. we hate king, too, but at weast king dun smwell wike bad poopies." >"wuh... wuh... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" >"king nu cwybaby eitha. dwink dwano yu waste of wife." >"wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" >will Slug commit suicide? find out after this message from our sponsor. >"HEY! I'm Lawrence Smash and I represent FAP!" >"Hey, Lawrence! What's FAP?" >"Fluffy Anus Punchers!" >"What's that, Lawerence?" >"Studies prove that even the most stubborn fluffy can have his will broken... with a punch to the anus!" >"How much do you charge to punch a fluff anus?" >"Well, that depends on distance, quantity, quality, and cleanliness. We also give discounts on Smarty Friends." >"Because who doesn't love to see Smarties get their anuses punched?" >"Hell yeah! So call FAP today! 1-800-FAP-ANUS and tell 'em Lawrence sent you!" >we now return you to Mr. Spiner's Fluffyhood >Slug is hanging by a noose from a tree >Mr. Owlsley looks up at the body >"...and nuffin of valyoo wuz wost." >"So what's today's lesson, Mr. Owlsley?" asks an off-camera voice >"Good, pwetty fwuffies wive in cassahs or in tweehouses. ugwy stinky fwuffies should kill demselfs." >Okay... back to Brent... >"So I have one end of this snorkel stuffed up Marina's ass and the other in..." >"Brent, we're back on..." >"...and we had just done a double bong hit spiked with Lysol..." >"BRENT!" >"Oh, sorry... welcome back, children and fluffies. We hope you had a nice time in Puppequestria. What did you learn today?" >"That ugly, smelly fluffies should commit suicide." >"Jesus christ, really?" >"That's what the producer wanted." >"Okay... I'm going to go get drunk and cry in the arms of a Brazilian transsexual prostitute..." >"Have a nice day, Brent." >"It's a beautiful day in the fluffyhood... a beautiful day to be fluffy... >wouldn't you... wouldn't you like to be my fluffy, too?" >Brent breaks down in tears - a production assistant tends to him >"That's all right, Mr. Spiner... let it all out... that's it... shhh... soft kitty, warm kitty..." >This episode of Mr. Spiner's Fluffyhood was sponsored by Fluffy Anus Punchers >It was also sponsored by Hasbro Brand Fluffy Kibble and Ballco Balls! Come to Ballco - we got balls!