day 1, veteran anon in equestria

Day 1 (Kinda)

>It's finally over

>Honorable discharge

>Long flight home, get no sleep

>Didn't tell Katie, want to surprise her

>That and with a ring

>Plane finally lands in Colorado Springs

>Dad and mom are waiting, give the welcome back tears

>Go home, change into dress uniform

>Grab truck, so excited you can barely sit still

>She's stayed with you so long

>Through the wounds and buddies dying

>Round last corner

>Two cars in driveway

> Don't know anyone who drives a porsche

>Maybe a friend, no worries, you trust her

>Jump out, walkin' on fuckin sunshine

>Knock

>No answer

>Let self in, she never cared before

>Greeted by the sight of some douchebag raping your girl

>Blind rage

>Rip him off of her, proceed to wreck his shit

>"YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKIN' RAPE MY GIRL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

>"What are you doing anon!?"

>wat

> Doucebag manages to regain himself and sputter, "Fuckin' stop, she came onto me!"

>Feel something snap in the recesses of your mind.

 

>Drop doucebag, stand up straight again

>He bolts like a buck naked flash

>Stare at katie

>She says words but your mind doesnt register them

>You turn smartly on your heel and walk away

>Slowly and methodically drive home

>You've got no more reason to go on.

>Dead friends, cheating girlfriend that you were with for 4 years, nightmares send you back to Afghanistan every night

>Fuck the world

>Make it home

>Ignore parents trying to talk to you

>Grab every scrap of your military gear you have left: spare BDU's, web vests, survival gear

>Grab M1a dad got you for your birthday plus a couple of boxes of ammo

>Stuff it all in your pack and a duffel bag

>Time to disappear from the face of the earth

 

>You drove for six hours, going down trails your truck was never meant to go

>Eventually a ball joint gives up the ghost

>Continue on foot another hour

>Make camp, build fire

>Crawl into sleeping bag

>Cry self to sleep

 

>Wake up

>Sun is shining through the trees

>Wait, trees?

>You camped in an open field, built a fire, with a stream a short ways away

>You woke up in a forest, no sign of your fire, no stream that you can see

>Jimmies beginning to be rustled

>Nervously eat breakfast of MRE chilli

>Got peanut M&M’s for dessert

>Fuckyeah.jpg

>Still on edge, you break camp and decide to head west

>A few hours later, you come to the edge of the forest.

>Is that a... house?

>You’ve seen hunting cabins tucked away in the mountains but this two story abode is tad bit ridiculous

>What the hell, you may as well go and ask where you are

>Knock knock

>A sing-songy voice responds, “I’m comiiing!”

>Door opens

>A yellow pony with pink hair and FUCKING WINGS stands opposite of you

>Jimmies thoroughly rustled

>In blind panic you grab your rifle and aim at her as she slams the door with a frightened, “Eeep!”

>WHAT IN SATANS UNWASHED BUNGHOLE WAS THAT

 

 

 

 

 

 

>Your mind, still reeling from all this what-the-fuck-itude, barely catches another voice inside say, "Who was at the door Fluttershy?"

>The same voice continues, "You'll never make many new friends if you slam the door in their faces!"

>Door opens again

>allmyWUT

>This time a PURPLE HORSE WITH A FUCKING HORN AND VIOLET HAIR answers the door

>You unconsciously pull the trigger as your mind fails to make sense of this

>Missed the purple one, grazed the yellow one

>Haul balls out of there

>Toss away duffle, it's only slowing you down

> Make it to edge of forest

>Purple light all around you

>Realize the forest isnt getting any closer

>Turn around

>See purple horse's horn glowing

>Time for round two

>Before the shot can go off your rifle is wrenched out of your hands

>You are now floating towards the purple pony

>"What did you do!?" She yells

>Mind promptly displays blue screen of oh shit

>Reboot required

>You Pass out

 

>You’re back

>That same damn convoy

>Soldiers talking and laughing, but it’s muffled and incomprehensible

> You feel the force of the explosion before you hear it

>The humvee in front of yours has literally disappears from the face of the earth in a massive explosion

>Rockets crump and ak47’s clatter

> You jump out and start firing

>A shot hits you, like a baseball bat on fire

>All you see is the sky

>Then a towelhead stands over you

>He points the ak at you

>You wake up screaming

>Cold sweat drenches you.

>”You’re awake!” Comes a voice not unlike many cheerleaders you knew

>Only it came from the mouth of a violently pink horse who is right in your face

> Rustle rustle rustle...

>Training fires up

>You’re in what looks like a library

>Try to move arms. They’re bound

>Legs aren’t.

>Kick forward violently

>Pony sent sprawling

>notice more, including the yellow winged pony and the purple horned one

>Jump to feet, sprint toward window

>Jump

>Denied freedom by purple light

>Begin to dislike purple with the loathing you previously reserved for Snooki

>Now legs are bound

>”What the hay was that for?” Says purplebitch

> Still trying to comprehend how ponies can speak, you blurt out, “How the hell are you talking?”

>The pink pony, seemingly unfazed by a kick that easily should have broken most of her ribs, perks up, “All ponies can talk, silly-billy!”

>Filing pink pony under ditzy cheerleader heading

 

>”Ponies?”

>Where in the world are you?

>Purple bitch puts you back in your chair, then proceeds to put on her gameface

> “Yes, ponies. And what might you be? And where did you come from?”

>”A fucking human. What else would I be? And I don’t know how I got here. I went sleep in a clearing and woke up in a forest. Speaking of which, where in God’s name is here?”

>Purplebitch recoils slightly at your response of “human”, and quickly runs off in another room

>”So what were ya dreamin’ about? You thrashed around a lot,” an orange pony in a cowboy hat drawls at you.

>”Nothing, just a bad dream. But seriously where am I?”

> “Why you’re in Equestria, darling!” Perks up a refined sounding white... unicorn?

>” Oh, where are my manners? I’m Rarity..., “

>She then proceeds to introduce all 6 of them, including purplebit- I mean Twilight Sparkle.

>”And what is your name?”

>“Anonymous”

>”That’s a... nice name”

>Twilight Sparkle, enter stage left

>She calls the other ponies over, and they appear to discuss something in hushed tones

>Eventually they stop and Twilight and the other ponies

>”Well, I’ve never heard of a human, and I can’t seem to remember anything on a “humans” from any of the books I’ve read.  So we’re going to have you stay here why I try to figure out what you are and how you came here.”

>”Can you at least untie me and give me my things?”

>”I can’t give you your things, you hurt Fluttershy with that... thing,”

>Notice bandages on yellow horse. Oh yeah...

>”... and I’ll only untie you if you promise not to run away.”

>It’s not like you can run away from magic or pegasi, you don’t know your surroundings, and they ARE treating you with at least more civility then you gave them.

>”On my honor as a soldier, I promise.”

>Pinkie Pie practically tackles you at this and yells, “Then we need to throw a party for you! No one’s ever even heard of a human before! Do you like parties?”

>Is she on coke?

>Between the tackle and the rapid-fire sentences, all you can get out is, “Umm... yeah?”

>At this Pinkie takes off faster than you thought any living being could move.

>”What was that?” you mutter as you pick yourself off the floor, with a little help from Applejack.

>”She’s just excited she got ‘nother party ta throw for somepony,” Applejack says, as if partying is Pinkie’s sole purpose for living.

>”That’s Pinkie for you,” Twilight matter-of-factly says.

>”Well, I’d better start my research. I’ll have Spike and the girls show you around town.”

>Spike? Must be a dog. Probably some kind of pit bull that straight eats intruders.

>Turns out Spikes a baby dragon. Dragonofanykind=awesome.

>Get weird stares all day, but it’s not like you weren’t ogled before because you were a vet.

>Ends the day with a wonderful party, all celebrating you just being... you.

>It’s weird,  no one besides your parents and buddies from your unit ever did anything like this for you.

>Maybe... maybe this won’t be such a bad thing.

> Worn out, you follow Spike back to Twilght’s house, and not caring it’s far too small, you plop down on her couch.

>Sleep finds you quickly.