Laska and Me - Chapter 6

My eyes locked with Laska’s as she slowly made her way inside. I glanced behind her before she closed the door; it didn’t appear that anyone had dropped her off. Did she walk back home?

 

Laska said nothing, instead simply focusing her eyes on me. Thin tendrils of tears worked their way down her flushed face. She sniffled a few times. Then her features tightened, and she turned her face away, clenching her eyes shut. A new round of tears sprung forth and trailed down her cheeks, collecting into drops before dripping off her chin and onto the floor.

 

Eralia appeared at my side, giving voice to the question that had frozen in my mind. “Laska! What happened?” she gasped, taking another few steps forward before halting mid-stride, sniffing at the air. “Oh, Laska…”

 

Finally getting over the shock of the unexpected, tearful arrival of Laska, I rushed forward. “Are you alright?!” My words came out in a quiet panic as I pulled her into my arms, checking her over for something, anything, that might be amiss. But, other than her reddened face, she appeared fine – at least physically.

 

In response to my question, she simply shook her head as she gazed at the floor.

 

My thoughts churned through the possibilities, and finally one thought in particular lingered long enough for me to seize upon it. “Did he… did something happen between you two you didn’t want?”

 

Laska nodded.

 

Words failed me; my emotions ran wild. Anger and fear and worry and relief and sadness and everything else. Pulling her into my chest was all I could manage to do as I searched for something to say. Laska, however, resisted me, pushing away, avoiding any eye contact.

 

“What… what’s wrong sweetie?” I managed to say, my arms hanging in the air.

 

Eralia approached, and then knelt down next to us. A woeful sigh escaped her lips. Her hazel eyes looked heavy; if I had to say what she was feeling at that moment, it would be pity.

 

Laska glanced at neither me nor Eralia, but rather the door to her room. “P-please… just… let me… go…” she said, her tiny voice fragmented by sobs.

 

“No, I will not. You need to tell me what happened,” I said firmly, grabbing her shoulders. At my touch she jumped.

 

That… wounded me deeply, though I was careful to not let anything show. What the fuck happened?

 

Did Dave force himself on her? Rape her? Was she afraid of men now?

 

No, her trust of me wouldn’t be so easily broken, would it?

 

My confusion and fear and anger all twined together, and I found myself on the verge of tears as well. Here was Laska, sobbing her eyes out over something, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. I sunk down onto my knees, feeling utterly powerless. Anger was beginning to take root, however, and I began to entertain the idea of exacting some sort of vengeance.

 

It was at these times that I was thankful there was one level-headed person in this house.

 

Slipping forward, Eralia rubbed away the tears from Laska’s face, then cupped a cheek in one of her paws. Using some measure of force, she turned Laska’s head so that she could look straight into her eyes. “Tell us what happened, Laska. Please.”

 

The emotional cat looked away to the floor with her eyes. Eralia simply tipped her chin up so that Laska had to look at her. “I think I know what happened,” she said, sniffing again at the air. “Either you can explain yourself, or I’ll do it for you.”

 

Bringing herself to meet Eralia’s gaze, Laska’s face alternated rapidly between so many emotions - shame, anger, fear, sorrow. Finally, she seemed to settle on something that I’d call ‘regret.’ Her lip quivered and her cheeks twitched as she sought to hold back another torrent of tears.

 

Eralia dropped her paw from Laska’s face, resting it instead on her shoulder. “Let’s not talk here, okay? And let’s close the front door…” she said softly, stroking Laska’s hair and ears with her other paw.

 

Spitting me with a quick glare, Eralia then narrowed her eyes slightly. Frustration at me for my helplessness, maybe? Attempting to collect myself, I took a deep breath, stood up, and closed the front door as Eralia began walking down the hallway with Laska in tow. Following the pair into the living room, I saw that my daughter had opted to sit next to Eralia on the couch.

 

She regarded me briefly before turning away, as if trying to hide or avoid me. I looked to Eralia for an answer, but all I received was a simple sigh. Shuffling towards a chair, I sat down gingerly on the edge. Without any thought, I began to wring my hands, desperate for some kind of answer. Laska did naught but cry.

 

Eralia stroked at Laska’s hair and ears, waiting for the girl’s sobs to calm. Gradually, Laska’s tears began to dry, and her breathing settled.

 

That was Eralia’s cue to begin. “Now then Laska, please tell us what happened.”

 

Rubbing the last of the tears from her face, Laska kept her focus downwards. She took in a deep breath, then let it out through her nose. “I… lost myself,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “I’m… a monster…” she mewled, a few more tears squeezing out as her eyes tightened.

 

Lost herself? Monster? What did she mean by that? My anxiety only deepened; an uncomfortable twisting forming in my guts.

 

Still stroking Laska’s head, my lover simply hummed a response, as if she had been expecting those words. “I figured as much… you’re still quite hot, aren’t you?”

 

Laska nodded.

 

Hot? What did she mean?

 

“That’s about about the extent of what I can deduce… I can only make guesses from here. So, please, tell us what happened,” Eralia spoke as she continued her ministrations.

 

That entire time I felt like I was invisible to the two of them, and it both angering and saddening. Then, to make it worse, Laska’s eyes flicked to me for a second. It was like she wanted to apologize, but couldn’t say anything. To not know what was going on; to be rejected like that was very... painful. Perhaps she saw the misery on my face.

 

She blinked, then looked down and away.“Well,” she started quietly, clearing her throat. “After we ate we just went back to his place… and talked about stuff for a while. Bikes, hobbies, people, you know, stuff. His parents weren’t home, and later we curled up together on the couch in the living room to watch a movie.” The sorrow seemed to clear from her voice the more she spoke, and she even smiled while recalling the beginnings of the evening. “It was… nice, to have someone I liked hold me.”

 

Eralia gave a gentle laugh. “I bet you didn’t pay attention to the movie at all, huh?”

 

“Heh… not at all,” Laska responded with a fond smile. “He’d been nice to me all night; such a gentleman, really. And it made me very happy, and very… interested.”

 

Running my hands through my hair, I dreaded the direction her story was headed, but I had little choice. I knew that I had to listen to her, no matter how much I loathed the notion of my daughter as… a woman like any other. And, somewhere in my mind, the inklings of what happened were beginning to form, accompanied by a stronger-than-usual dizziness.

 

“So, after a while of cuddling… I kissed him. It was kind of awkward and I think I got more of his chin than anything, but he laughed and returned my kiss... though his was more proper…” Laska let out a wistful sigh, and I noticed the scarlet on her face flushed a shade deeper.

 

“That was your first kiss, wasn’t it?” Eralia said, her voice sharing some of the same girlish dreaminess Laska’s had.

 

A small, silly smile spread across Laska’s lips and she nodded. But, it would not last long. Nearly as quickly as it formed, her smile faded into a tight, thin line. “It made me happy, but I also wanted more… and things kind of elevated. Then I started feeling really… warm and hot. I began getting more aggressive… I even started to take my shirt off…”

 

Sympathetic to my situation, Eralia gave me a weak, knowing smile out of the corner of her mouth.

 

Laska halted for a moment; her eyes began watering as her thoughts preceded her words.

 

“He… actually stopped me, and asked why I was being so forward. ‘There’s no need to rush,’ he said to me. But, for some reason I didn’t care about what he wanted. I… wanted it, so, I didn’t stop.”

 

Drawing up her knees against herself, Laska buried her face against her legs. “There was a tiny little voice telling me to stop… but I just couldn’t help myself…. All sorts of… thoughts crossed my mind, and it made me all tingly and hot. Then, before I knew it, I was completely naked and stripping off his clothing.”

 

She paused to suck in a deep breath, letting it out in a stutter.

 

“He… kept telling me to stop, but I didn’t care; I felt like I was on fire, I burned for him so bad. And, I guess I thought, since he never pushed me off of him, it was fine. He shut up when I shoved my boobs against his face, so it was fine. And… he was… ready, so it was fine.” By now Laska’s voice was completely broken by her heaving sobs.

 

“Then… Then I just… fucked him. He said that he didn’t want to do it yet; that I wasn’t acting like the sweet girl he knew. I didn’t care. I just fucked him and fucking him. I was so hot, and it felt so good, I just couldn’t stop, no matter his protests. I think he even tried to shove me off at one point, but he was so weak… I was able to swat his arms away easily...” She trailed off, no longer able to speak above her tears and hiccups.

 

Eralia’s face was an impassive mask, focused entirely on the diminutive cheshire curled up beside her. And there I was, sitting in stunned silence. Laska had raped someone. She actually raped someone.

 

Regaining some measure of control over her breathing, Laska resumed her description of the events that had unfolded. “After two or three hours, I… could tell he was in pain. But I still didn’t care!” Now, some kind of maniacal laughter mixed in with her sobs, building up with every word. “No, it was just all about me, riding him like a fucking bike without mercy! I loved every brutal second of it!”

 

As quickly as it began, her crazed laughter faded as she drew in a long breath. “At some point… he wouldn’t look at me anymore, and maybe it started bringing me down… my body started cooling off… and I… realized what I’d done. And I stopped and slid off. He looked at me, but the only thing he said was that I wasn’t the girl he thought I was.”

 

Laska stopped speaking, and the whole house was silent save for her muffled weeping.

 

My mind was entirely locked up, processing what I’d heard at a glacial pace. What was I to say? Should I say anything? When Eralia’s gaze drifted to mine as we both listened to Laska’s lament spill out, I implored her with my eyes to do something – anything. She shook her head, then mouthed ‘You need to.’

 

But, should I attempt to hug her? Or just say something? Like what?

 

I stood, and then did… nothing. I just stood up, and looked at Laska’s balled-up form. My daughter, this small, young girl, had lost so many things in one night. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself forward, and sat down on the coffee table that was in front of the couch; in front of Laska.

 

Sensing my presence, her tail twitched nervously, though she did not raise her face. “You… probably think I’m some kind of slut now, don’t you?”

 

Gently, I laid a hand atop her head and poked at the fine hair that extended out of the front of one of her ears, causing it to twitch. I’d intended to say… something, but instead I continued teasing her ear, forcing it to twitch almost endlessly.

 

“Gah! Stop it already!” Laska’s head shot up, glaring at me. At least I got her to look at me, and for some reason I had this stupid little smile on my face. Forgetting herself for a split second, Laska’s expression softened into a little grin in response to my teasing. It was not to last, however, as it soon faded into a morose grimace. “No, I don’t. Not at all,” I said, stroking her ears now instead of teasing them.

 

“But I fucked him! It wasn’t… love, or sex, I just fucked him,” she began quietly, though her voice grew louder as she went. “Like the slutty, horny cat I am!” She howled, brushing away my arm and jerking her head back from my touch.

 

Eralia quirked an eyebrow, but I couldn’t tell if it was in response to Laska’s words or her tone. Then she crossed her arms and leaned back away from Laska. Her amiable, gentle attitude from earlier seemed to be vanishing.

 

“Well… what happened after you stopped?” I asked, trying to pull her away from self-deprecation.

 

“…Nothing, really. I… just kind of apologized, saying I didn’t know what came over me…” Laska said, hiding her face again. “The entire time I was getting dressed… he just kind of looked at me, like… he’d been betrayed. But he never said anything, not even as I left.”

 

Then, something snapped inside her. Her face rose quickly and she uncoiled herself, standing up with a start. The muscles in her jaw bunched up, and she stared down at me.

 

Eralia’s eyes opened slightly, regarding Laska with interest.

 

“I don’t get it!” Laska yelled. “I just don’t fucking get it! Aren’t you guys supposed to love it when girls like me do that shit?! Getting fucked senseless is what you all dream about, right?!”

 

As the only male present, I suppose it was a given that her sudden outburst of wrath would be directed towards me.

 

She trembled slightly – from anger, adrenaline, or emotional exhaustion, I couldn’t say which. Not that trying to rationalize the reason she was shouting at me made it any easier to deal with. Especially when there was some truth to her words.

 

“Maybe… Sometimes,” I said, straining to keep myself calm. “You’re… a sweet girl, Laska. You really are. I think that’s why Dave liked you. But-“

 

“-But then I showed him that I’m just like every other girl that has these… these inhuman features and sex drive!” Laska interrupted with, holding her paw-hands in front of her face. She glared at her own paws, like they were some kind of curse that would never be dispelled.

 

“I’m not a girl. Just a monster,” she said meekly, covering her face with those very paws.

 

I had no idea what to say. How fortunate, then, that someone else did.

 

“So?” Eralia said dryly. Her arms were still crossed, and her eyebrow was still raised. The question she posed wasn’t sarcastic or mocking, but rather matter-of-fact.

 

Laska twirled about to face Eralia. “So? So?!”

 

Nodding patronizingly, Eralia kept her tone level. “Yes, what exactly is the problem?”

 

“…Unlike you, anubislut,” Laska hissed, her voice seething venom. “I don’t fuck people on a whim and then throw them away.”

 

Eralia took Laska’s words all in stride, giving no reaction except for the barest twitch of an eyelid. She rolled her head shoulder to shoulder, grinning. “Anubislut? Haven’t heard that one in a while. Props to you, I suppose. And,” she began with a low, sinister tone, “apparently you do fuck people on a whim, even when they don’t want it. A kiss got you that randy? My oh my.”

 

My heart skipped. “Eralia!” I yelled, to which she gave me the barest hints of a wink. I rose from my seat on the table behind Laska, casting a confused stare at the jackal.

 

In front of me, Laska was shaking, paws clenched hard, and her ears were flat back on her head. “That. Is. The. Fucking. Point! I don’t want to be this way! I don’t want to be controlled by my cunt! How was I to know that a little kiss would fire me up like that?! She screeched, her voice broken and cracked - likely by a new wave of tears that were cascading down her face.

 

Eralia barked out a laugh, then smiled. The sudden gesture baffled me, and from the sudden cessation of Laska’s trembling, she’d become confounded as well. “Indeed! How /would/ you know?”

 

“What… just what is that supposed to mean?” Laska shot back.

 

Eralia’s eyes then narrowed and her grin spread, ever looking the predator from which she shared features. “It means, my dear, that you denied aspects of yourself for far too long. You may hate yourself and your sexual appetite, but what are you going to do about it? Let it control you, like it already has? Or will you acknowledge your desires and release them in a more… controlled fashion?”

 

I was still pissed at Eralia’s initial comments, and even now her words were far too harsh and tactless. But, perhaps she was tired of subtly and elected for the hard, fast route.

 

Laska took a step closer towards the anubis, who was still sitting down, arms crossed. “Haven’t you listened to a single word I’ve said?! I don’t want to fuck random people! I… I just want…” she trailed off, her rage abating. “Just want to…”

 

“Yes, I know about your romantic views. Saving yourself for that special someone and all that; I think it’s very sweet of you, but have you ever asked yourself why?” Eralia’s malice had faded into something soft, sympathetic.

 

That’s… a good question, even for me. Why do we want to put a hold on sex until we find someone we like, or love? Does it really make it more special, or better? I remember the random sex I had before was… okay, but being with Eralia was a completely different experience. So, then, isn’t attraction what defines the intensity, rather than how often?

 

Maybe it has something to do with some kind of… behavioral aspect? Like denying oneself a base pleasure and only scratching that itch with ‘special’ people makes us closer to them somehow? We love them for the pleasure they allow us to experience, rather than for who they are?

 

As I thought through the quandary, my eyes settled on Eralia’s. I did love her, but it had been a very long time since the last time I’d had any sort of intimacy with a woman. Do I love her because she was the first romantic partner to show me actual, genuine affection? Does she love me because I so readily reciprocated her feelings?

 

Or am I still trapped in my old ways of thinking? That is, that there always had to be some purpose or reason as to why someone would want to be with me?

 

While I was mired in thought, Laska sat down again, looking thoroughly defeated. “I…guess not. I always thought it was just… romantic and fun and… special, to hold out.”

 

Eralia finally uncrossed her arms and leaned over, wrapping Laska in a hug. “In a way, it is special. But, sometimes it takes a while to find that certain someone,” she said, looking my way for a moment. “When you do, it’s great! But, you can’t just deny yourself until that happens.”

 

As Laska considered Eralia’s words, so did I. Motioning for the pair to move over a bit, I sat down next to Laska, sandwiching her between Eralia and me.

 

It’d become apparent why Eralia had been so concerned and insistent that Laska get out and… experience people. She probably foresaw something like this happening. Meanwhile, I could only think of how I felt about Laska being sexually active. Did I only go along with her idealistic views of romance because it fit in with how I wanted her to be?

 

“So… what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Laska said, leaning her head against Eralia.

 

“Well, I’m afraid to say Dave is probably no longer interested in you whatsoever,” came the anubis’ response after a short period of silent.

 

Laska sighed. “Yeah…”

 

Tired of having a passive role through most of this, I decided to say something. Mostly for Laska, but also for myself. “I think that… well, you should learn from this… and whenever you feel like it… proposition guys.”

 

Eralia and Laska were mildly surprised, blinking two or three times at the sudden acceptance of my daughter’s burgeoning… needs.

 

Smiling and letting loose a sigh, Eralia added to what I’d said. “Your father is spot on... in a way. One of the benefits of… one-night flings is that, as you said a while ago, you can just fuck the shit out of them without a care in the world and they’ll adore you for it.”

 

A minor blush rose to Laska’s face as she thought, then her ears drooped slightly in embarrassment. “But what about that one time… er, I mean, when women ‘ambush’ men? Isn’t that just rape?”

 

Eralia shrugged “If you remember what I said, you at least strike up a few words, even if it’s just ‘hey let’s fuck.’ Most of them will agree, but sometimes you just need to apply a little… pressure to get consent.” She looked up at me as she spoke, giving me a silent little apology. I frowned heavily.

 

“I… think I’d probably stick with asking…” Laska muttered.

 

Then, for a time, there was silence. Laska fidgeted nervously, her ears swiveling all over as her thoughts drifted from one thing to the next. And then Eralia decided to further embarrass Laska and torment me in the same stroke.

 

“Despite it all, it felt fucking great, didn’t it?”

 

I wasn’t aware Laska’s face could burn that deep shade of red, though mine probably wasn’t that far away.

 

Then my dear, sweet daughter nodded. And then quickly stood.

 

“Th-thanks for putting up with my tantrums…” she said quietly. “I… have a lot to think about… but I’ll be okay on my own…”

 

Laska began heading towards her room, but I stopped her for a second. Both of us looked away from each other awkwardly; sexuality has a way of doing that, I suppose.

 

“Er, goodnight, I guess. And don’t worry, we’ll listen to your tantrums anytime… provided you don’t have too many.” I attempted to pull an easy smile, but probably wound up looking like someone who’d just been told his daughter recently discovered her appetite for sex. Imagine that.

 

“Heh, yeah… thanks again goodnight dad, Eralia.”

 

“Love you, sweetie.”

 

“Love you too…” she said, finally smiling again. Then she tottered off to her room, leaving Eralia and I in the living room.

 

Unwinding herself and placing her legs and paws atop my thighs, Eralia seemed to let out a breath she’d been holding for hours. “It’ll probably take a long while until she’s comfortable with the idea, but I think she understands now.”

 

“I hope so,” I said, absentmindedly picking up and massaging one of her paws. “I think I’ve been too selfish with her…”

 

Eralia moaned softly as I worked my thumb between two of her pads, rubbing the tender skin that lay hidden underneath. “Mmmm, I won’t deny that… at least you realize it.”

 

“Do you… think she’ll be able to come to terms with who she is?” I asked, not taking my eyes off her paw as I worked it over.

 

Letting out a happy sigh as I rubbed her fluffy paw-feet, Eralia took a moment before responding. “Probably. Being a teenager isn’t easy for anyone; especially not a little, abused girl who had a clueless father to raise her,” she said, smiling wolfishly. “But, that clueless father tried his best and managed to find a charming anubis to set him and his daughter straight.”

 

“How fortuitous for that man, huh?” I said, switching feet.

 

“Mmmmm…. Heh, and fortunate for the girl that she’s clever enough to have a bit of introspection and a father who will still treat her like an innocent little girl no matter her age.” Eralia stretched again and seemed to turn to putty as I worked on her paws.

 

“So long as she doesn’t bring too many home… I think I’ll be able to keep that illusion up,” I said, swallowing hard as that scenario filled my mind.

 

Eralia sat up, retracted her legs, and then pushed me over. Taking my feet into her fluffy paw-hands, she stripped off my socks and began returning the favor. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that, my dear. While she may begin to… indulge herself, romantic ideals die hard. Hopefully it’ll make things easier for me as well,” she said with a laugh.

 

“Easier for you?” I inquired

 

“Oh? Oh, yes. I have a powerful sense of smell, you know. This house absolutely reeks of Laska’s desire; you’re lucky you can’t smell it. Hopefully it’ll dissipate somewhat in the future.” She said, grinding her thumbs, or what would be thumbs if she had human hands, into the arch of one of my feet.

 

“…Why’d you have to tell me?” I groaned.

 

“You asked.”

 

“I wish I hadn’t…”

 

--

 

Laska’s personality and demeanor had become… muted, in the days and weeks that followed. Who could blame her? Most people would fall into brooding introspection after losing control of themselves like that; shattering their dreams and ideals in the process. Probably didn’t help that Dave pretty much refused to talk to her after that. Well, maybe with time they could be friends again.

 

However, one positive aspect though it all was that she didn’t shut herself off from Eralia or me. She still talked to us about her thoughts and feelings, seeking our advice on this or that. Eralia had tried a few times to get Laska to go out with Zoe to ‘unwind,’ but was always met with refusal, along with a renewed bout of self-loathing. Then we’d talk again, often about the same topics - sex, love, and romance.

 

 Eventually, probably due to how all the discussion, I became rather comfortable talking with Laska about herself. And, I think, she got more comfortable speaking to me about herself as well. It was never ‘easy,’ but I managed. Somehow.

 

 

 

As winter began to fade and the vestiges of spring appeared, Laska appeared to have finally started on the path towards reconciliation with herself. I got the first real indication that she’d begun to accept herself not long before Zoe’s 16th birthday.

 

“Hey, dad,” Laska’d said in the car after I picked her up from school.

 

It was innocent enough, but I’d become accustomed to the tone and way she said it to know that this was the front-end of something she felt nervous talking to me about.

 

I prepared myself for the worst. “What’s up?”

 

She drummed her paws on the bag across her lap. “Well, Zoe’s 16th birthday is coming up soon…”

 

“Yeah? Hm, her birthday is this coming weekend, isn’t it?” I said, keeping my guard up.

 

Laska nodded. “Mmm. Yeah,” she answered, her ears wiggling as she looked out the window. “Her party is gonna be in the afternoon… you know, typical stuff. But after most of the others are gone…”

 

She certainly got to the point quick. Knowing Lydia, I had an idea of what was planned. “After they’re gone…?”

 

“Well… at night it’ll just be Zoe and a handful of others… maybe me, since I was invited, and going to… The Rendezvous,” she said, making an audible gulp. “Lydia said she’d pay for us.”

 

The Rendezvous. I knew of the place, but hadn’t ever sought its services. It was a… place, designed to make it easier for monstergirls and men alike to sate themselves. It was sort of like a brothel, I guess. You could go in as someone who was looking, or someone who was willing to be used. The former would pay a fee which would include use of a room. The latter would receive a portion of the money, essentially like a prostitute, in exchange for agreeing to go with whoever had ‘purchased’ them. Monstergirls made up the majority of the buyers from what I’d heard, but guys looking for a specific kind of girl weren’t uncommon.

 

Really did sound like something Lydia would do. That dirty old wolf.

 

It was kind of funny that my first thoughts were no longer ‘Oh, my dear Laska is growing up,’ or its variants, but more relief that she would be going to a place that facilitated safe exchanges. The weeks spent talking about these things were paying off, I suppose. I’d heard some folks even managed to get lasting relationships out of there when both parties fancied each other.

 

“That’s fine with me, sweetie. If it’s something you want to try and experience, I’ve no problem with it. In fact,” I said, closing my eyes for a moment and sighing, “it might even be good for you.” I wondered if I’d been around Eralia too long.

 

“Er, really? Heh, honestly I was expecting you to try and talk me out of it…” Laska said, finally turning to face me.

 

“Honestly? I kind of want to. But, after all we’ve talked about since that… incident, I think you should probably try… it… when you don’t feel like you’re… forcing yourself on someone,” I said, leaning back into the driver’s seat.

 

Laska’s ears wiggled a few more times, and she went back to looking out for the window for a while. During the silence, I realized that if Lydia was sponsoring this as a party for Zoe and a few of her close friends, it likely meant this would be a… group event. Now I was becoming uncomfortable, but it was too late; I’d already given my approval. Why did I torture myself with these thoughts?

 

“Okay, I guess I’ll go,” Laska said quietly, resting her chin on a paw while she gazed at the suburban scenery as we drove along. “I… think that you and Eralia are both right…”

 

“We’re both right?” I asked, wondering what she meant. As far as I knew, we didn’t have differing messages. But, I’ve been known to say things without realizing what I was saying.

 

Laska turned to me, an interesting little grin on her face. “It’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now. You’ve always told me to be true to myself, right?”

 

“Right…”

 

“I always wondered if that meant being true to my dream, or my desires. It had to be one or the other, I thought for the longest time. Now, I think I realize I was just… afraid.” She said, her smile growing wider.

 

I was impressed, to say the least. She had words and thoughts I’d never imagined a 15-year-old girl would have.

 

“What did my answer have to do with anything?” I inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

 

Her face clouded some, followed by a nervous shift in her seat. “It was that last part you mentioned… about trying it. I know you hate to hear it, dad, but I have those thoughts… a lot. And if I’m constantly fighting against them, it’s like, I’m just lying to myself.”

 

For her to be so candid probably took a lot of courage; or maybe she just trusted me that much. It’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? I felt like I was constantly second-guessing my wish for her to be honest and open with me. One of the concerns I’d had for a while now was that I was responsible for Laska’s negative attitude towards her sexuality.

 

“…Makes sense…” I said, pondering if I should continue my thought. Fortunately, Laska did so for me.

 

“But, at the same time, I don’t want to just… do it all the time. I still think it… it’s more special to hold back… I’ll find someone… right?” Laska asked, tinges of loneliness seeping into her voice. “Otherwise, it seems… silly to hang on for something that never comes.”

 

“What?” I asked, surprised at her sudden melancholy. “You’ll find someone to love - you’re only 15! You’re too young to be worrying about love, you know. Hell, you might even find someone at your little, uh, outing.”

 

Her good humor returned some, along with a little smirk and a sigh. Perhaps it’d be best to switch up the topic some. “So what’re you getting for Zoe?”

 

Erm… I don’t know. I… forgot about that, I think, when she invited me along for the evening…”

 

Typical, I thought. “Well, want to stop at a store or something before we go home?”

 

“If it’s not too much trouble, daddy?” Laska’s voice turned saccharine, and she had plastered a fake, toothy smile on her face. Well, she may be spoiled, but at least she’s nice about it.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s not… so where do you want to go?”

 

--

 

Saturday arrived, and with it Laska departed for Zoe’s in the afternoon, leaving Eralia and I alone together for most of the day and night – a rare occurrence. But, the last time this happened my daughter appeared in the middle of the night, sobbing her eyes out. So, I was a little nervous about what may come. To the point where I began to hatch a terrible, immature scheme.

 

Wasting no time in taking advantage of our solitude, Eralia threw a little party of her own. A party where she could be as loud and passionate as she wanted.

 

It was probably underhanded of me to ask for her participating when she was in the throngs of delight, especially considering I taunted her by withholding… activities until she agreed. Several hours later, during a lull in the proceedings, I decided to confirm her acceptance of my plan.

 

“You can’t be serious,” she said, her mouth hanging open in a mixture of amusement and shock. “I… vaguely remember you asking me… how sneaky of you!”

 

“Well… just a little. I only did it because I can’t do this alone. Don’t you want to help me out?” I replied, teasing at her tail by wrapping it around my hand and stroking the fluffy extension.

 

Groaning, Eralia covered her face with a paw “This is the dumbest shit ever, you realize that, right? Not to mention a huge invasion of privacy…”

 

I shrugged, barely able to contain my stupid smile. “You’re curious too, aren’t you?”

 

A quiet, deadpan stare fixed itself on her face and held for a time.

 

“Pretty sure Laska said they’d be leaving at 9… so should we leave at 8:30?” I said, more thinking aloud than anything.

 

Wiping her paw down her face, applying pressure so it dragged her cheek with, Eralia gave me an incredulous stare. “Fine, whatever, but don’t you dare complain when this blows up in your face. And, you better make it up to me for tagging along.”

 

“Well, you know I’m just concerned… what did you have in mind for me to make it up to you?”

 

She licked her lip, gazing at me like a predator. Leaning in closer, she told me her desire in a sultry whisper. Of course, it would be that. She absolutely loved it when I did that to her, but I… wasn’t a fan. By any stretch. No cause is without its sacrifices, I suppose.

 

 

 

Walking around The Rendezvous, I was surprised by the efficiency of the setup. Past the reception area were two large lobbies with banisters that ran along the top of each. Seated and milling about in one lobby were all the men, and women in the other. These were those who offered themselves up, and then along the top were all the prospective buyers. Reminded me a little of a livestock auction.

 

When Eralia and I entered the place and registered, we even filled out a form stating what we were into. Standard sex, anal, threesomes, how much dominating you were willing to take. That sort of thing. So, in addition to being able to choose who you wanted, you could ask for their list of kinks to check your sexual compatibility.

 

Then, once you found someone you liked and fit your interests, you’d tell one of the staff. They’d radio down to another member, assign you both a room number and a key, and off you went for a good time.

 

Society really has become a convenient thing. If only I had known about this place during all those lonely years…

 

In order to preserve our secrecy, Eralia and I had split up. I was looking over the various monstergirls, and Eralia was on the other side – the one I expected Laska to show up on. She’d donned a hat and folded her ears down to cover them, tucked her longish hair into her shirt, and was wearing a pair of aviators along with some of my looser-fitting clothing. She looked very… outstanding in a way, to the point I wondered if it’d attract the attention of Laska and Zoe.

 

Meanwhile I went with something more modest, as I was not expecting to see Laska on my side. Shades, clothing I hadn’t worn in years, and keeping to the shadows was to be my defense strategy.

 

Occasionally I’d drift over to the other side, checking on Eralia from afar. She was tucked away in a corner, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. Suspicion practically oozed from her; covert surveillance was apparently not one of her strong points.

 

Time dragged on with no sign of Laska or her cohorts. 9:00 came and went, then 9:30. As 10:00 approached, I was beginning to think their evening plans had changed. But, if Laska went back home, she’d probably have called one of us to find out where we were. Well, given it was a sweet 16 party, having things run on longer than anticipated was probably a given. An hour was certainly within reason, especially if they got rowdy.

 

While I idled about, watching guys and girls come and go, I began to take notice of someone else that had been up here with me nearly the entire time. He was a young man, though boy would probably have been just as apt. He’d shown up not long after I did, and spent most of his time leaning against the railing, looking down at the women below. Occasionally they’d feel his gaze and turn to meet him; some of the older ones even made catcalls and the like when they saw his youth.

 

No real reaction on his part through it all. Just a sigh, or he’d look away until they lost interest.

 

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me, and I made my way over to lean on the railing beside him. He gave me a wordless acknowledgement, and from up close I could see he was indeed young. And I probably looked like a creepy old man to him.

 

“You’ve been here a while, anyone in particular you’re waiting for?” I asked nonchalantly, looking down at the crowd of monstergirls.

 

“What? Oh, no… well…” he stuttered out.

 

His response was rather… unexpected. I’d have figured the sort that would visit these kinds of places would be a bit more confident.

 

“Hah, what are you so nervous about?” I asked, giving a few short laughs and a smile to try and set him at ease.

 

He blushed a bit, then pulled himself upright. “W-well, it’s my first time here…”

 

“Oh yeah? Same for me…”

 

His eyes glanced at me for a moment, perhaps trying to read my face. “I… see…”

 

Smiling, I asked who or what he was looking for again. Knowing what young men sought in women these days could be useful. Because of reasons that may or may not be related to my daughter.

 

He fidgeted a bit, looking down at the gathering before turning back to me. “Well, someone closer to my age would be nice,” he said with nervous laughter. “They’re all kind of… older…”

 

True enough, most of the women down below were older than he was. The youngest was probably in their early 20s or so from what I could discern.

 

“And… whenever I do see a nice lookin’ gal, she’s…usually…”

 

“…usually into some really kinky stuff?” I said, finishing his sentence as she hesitated and stumbled on his words.

 

Nodding his head, he smiled sheepishly. The two of us then sort of girl-watched for a bit, studying those assembled below.

 

“…What’re you looking for?” he asked, breaking the ice of his own accord this time around.

 

“Oh, an anubis. Definitely has to be one of those. And older, like around my age… straight, black hair that goes down to her upper back…” I figured a description of Eralia would keep me safe should this conversation ever slip back to her. Or may even earn me points.

 

“That’s… kind of specific,” he said.

 

I gave him a shrug. “What can I say? I know what I want.”

 

He began laughing, mostly through his nose, followed by a bitter, rueful smile. “At least you know what you want, that counts for something, right?”

 

Ah, looks like it was time for me to play youth counselor to someone other than Laska for once. And in a place like this, no less. “Didn’t you just say you wanted a younger woman?”

 

The young man gave me an appraising stare for a moment; I could see the gears in his mind turning. ”Well yeah... but if I can be picky, I’d like a cute one. Not like, I don’t know how to say… she’s so beautiful she’s intimidating, but rather a girl that you look at and just think she’s cute.”

 

Surprisingly, I knew what he meant. I felt the same way about Eralia – she was beautiful in her own, charming way. She’d never win any beauty pageants, but I could tell her with complete honesty that I thought no one looked better than her.

 

“What? Sounds like you know what you want. And, yeah, I understand. Sadly those girls are kinda rare…”

 

He looked a bit downcast, but smiled nonetheless. “It’s… difficult to explain. I know what I want, but… not really,” he said with no small amount of defeat. “Rare indeed…” he continued, “…and if I could help it, I’d like someone who was really gentle…”

 

I blinked a few times, then narrowed an eye. “You’re looking for your first time, aren’t you?”

 

The rush of crimson on his face told me I’d hit the mark.

 

“Why here of all places? Paying someone… well…”

 

What ill fate deigned that I had to talk about this with someone else? Once was enough, but alas, I was too deep into it to back out on this kid now. Seemed like he didn’t have anyone to talk to, either.

 

“My dad gave me some money tonight, then told me not to come back ‘till I become a man,” he said, taking on a mocking facsimile of what I’d assumed to be his father’s voice.

 

I hummed, arms crossed. It’s a rare thing for a man to avoid the advances of the women in this city for so long. Almost as rare as a cheshire who wants to save herself for the one she loves. It seemed like he wanted to be with someone, but was reluctant over something.

 

It was about then that my phone vibrated. A message from Eralia – the party had arrived.

 

An odd thought drifted up from the depths of my mind when I finished reading her message.

 

This kid seemed nice enough… maybe…? But, I suddenly felt kind of, well, creepy for trying to play matchmaker. Though, wasn’t it kind of common for family and friends to try and setup dates for each other? Leaning against the railing, still observing those below, I figured youngsters like him weren’t too common on the other side. Like him, Laska would probably aim for someone her own age. Time to let my arrow of love fly.

 

“Why not go over to the other side?” I asked, gazing down at a lamia that’d coiled up on herself.

 

“I… well, I would kinda like to pick…” came his response. Fair enough.

 

“Well… there might be some young women over there that’re just like you – hiding away and trying to spot someone close to their age. You always turn down an offer, you know.”

 

If Laska ever found out I followed her here and then tried to set her up with someone, she’d probably kill me. Small comfort, I suppose, that I was at least trying to feed her a ‘nice boy.’

 

He considered my words for a short while, tapping a foot against the floor. “Heh, maybe you’re right,” he finally said. “Doesn’t look like I’ll have much luck here…” Standing up, her cracked his back and stretched, then began walking towards the stairs that’d take him down and then across to the other room. “Thanks,” he said, waving.

 

Returning his wave, I then turned my thoughts towards what to do now. Mulling over what’d just transpired, I began to imagine this little trip wasn’t nearly as exciting as I’d hoped. It felt… risqué and dangerous, and maybe I expected some kind of… hijinks to happen. Instead, I looked and felt like a sad, lonely man, who was perhaps a little too suspicious of his daughter. Hanging my head in shame, my eyes drifted again to the lamia who had apparently taken notice of me. She smiled, then flashed her assets at me. Maybe it wasn’t so pointless after all, I thought as I smiled to myself.

 

 

 

Back in the car, I settled down and awaited Eralia’s return. Unfortunately, the longer I sat there, the more I regretted coming here. I sent her a message saying that she could drop whatever she was doing and come out to the car fifteen minutes ago. I was a little worried, but I figured what most likely happened was that she couldn’t move due to the risk of being spotted. So I sat and waited, and after another five minutes she finally appeared, walking towards the car at a brisk pace.

 

“Why the fuck did I agree to this?” She protested, throwing herself heavily into the passenger seat after throwing open the door.

 

I smiled. “I’ve been wondering the same thing. So what took you?”

 

Eralia’s eyes smoldered and she let out a long breath from her nose. “They decided to make camp near the exit so I had to wait until they left. But,” she said, her expression suddenly shifting, “You’ll be happy to know Laska refrained from going along with the group and chose someone on her own. Some kid who looked out of place.”

 

Huh, how about that. I told Eralia about my encounter with the young guy, and gave a short description of his appearance. She looked at me in disbelief, then began laughing.

 

“Hahaha! Yeah, that was him, alright. So how’s it feel to set your daughter up with some nice young man?”

 

I bit my lip, clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth a few times, and generally contorted my face about in consternation, looking away from the laughing jackal. Was it normal that I wanted to be happy for my daughter, yet couldn’t stand the thought that I’d just basically given her away?

 

“Haha… ha… sorry honey, it’s just that I’ve been trying for months – years even – to try and set her up. Then you appear and do it in a single night, mostly by accident and chance,” she said, speaking in a comforting tone and patting my leg.

 

“Yeah… I know, it’s just… thinking about it… I feel, well, kinda shitty. Aren’t I supposed to prevent her from… doing this? That?”

 

Eralia leaned in, struggling to contain her bemused grin, and began speaking in a calm, soothing voice. “We’ve been over this, remember? Laska can take care of herself on this stuff. It’s in her blood, after all. Hell, she even has two great escape mechanisms in case anything happens. I don’t think anyone could force her to do something she didn’t want, and she’ll keep herself under control.”

 

What was I to do but acquiesce? “You’re right… you’re right, and I suppose this is what I pushed her to do,” I said, resting my forehead on the steering wheel. “It’s about time I quit running in circles ‘round this issue, isn’t it?”

 

A pat on my back and the sound of a swishing tail signaled Eralia’s agreement with me.

 

“That’s that, then,” I said as I looked up to peer at the front of The Rendezvous.

 

“So, shall we go home?” inquired Eralia.

 

I gave one last glance at the doors to the building, then started the car. “Let’s.”

 

 

 

At home, Eralia and I… kept busy for quite some time, then around 2am I received a message from Laska stating that she wouldn’t be home until tomorrow. She was going to stay at Zoe’s house when they got back.

 

How long has it been since she stayed the night somewhere else? It was a welcome surprise, honestly – and not just because it meant Eralia could cut loose for an even longer period of time. With all that’d happened, I began to feel like Laska was finally growing up. For better or worse.

 

 

 

 

 

The following day, Laska finally strolled in sometime around early afternoon.

 

I’d been watching TV, and saw her peek her head into the living room shortly after hearing her come in.

 

“Hey sweetie. Have a good time last night?”

 

“Yeah, I had a lot of fun,” she said from the door way, all smiles.

 

“Ah… well, that’s good. What all happened at Zoe’s?” I asked, trying to make my question sound innocent.

 

Laska came into the room, and took a seat next to me on the couch. She sat with her legs crossed underneath her, paws tucked into her lap. All the while she smiled, her ears wiggled, and her tail swished easily side to side. She was rather… energetic.

 

 “Oh you know, girl stuff… Zoe got some new clothes, ‘cause she grows all the time, and constantly gets too big for stuff she bought not even months ago. It was also neat since there weren’t too many people, so it was a lot of fun. Got to spend a lot of time with Zoe. ”

 

This was… unusual. Normally I would have expected her to plop down next to me and say something like ‘it was nice,’ and then that would be the end of the conversation.

 

“Oh! And Lydia bought Zoe some old car to learn on so she can get her license.”

 

“That was your afterthought? What kind is it?” I asked, wondering how clothes came before cars in her mind.

 

“Hmm… nothing decent, I don’t think. I don’t know cars all that well, though.” Some of the girlish enthusiasm finally bled off, replaced by her usual calm as her mind switched to ‘mechanics.’ “It ran alright, but had some trouble starting… but I was able to get it going for them.”

 

An almost smug grin spread on her face, along with a slight puff to her chest. Who is this and where is the Laska I know?

 

“I see… well, guess some of that basic mechanical knowledge paid off, huh?” I said, still reeling from the shock of her personality shift.

 

“Yeah, it’s nice...”

 

A short lull in the conversation fell on us, but Laska’s tail continued to dance about.

 

“Anything else of interest happen?” A bit direct, probably too direct, but I wasn’t getting anywhere with subtly.

 

Her tail halted for a second before resuming a slower pace. Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked that. “Er, nevermind.” I said, scratching my cheek.

 

Laska glanced around, her ears swiveling about to match her darting gaze. After giving the entire room a once-over, her orange eyes settled on me, and her tail gave one last flick.

 

“Well, I did meet a nice guy last night... and things… happened. He was such a sweetheart though! We talked for hours and hours…” Another smile bloomed on her face, though it looked a little forlorn.

 

I suppose it was a good thing I did, then. That twinkle in her eye as she spoke, the happy giggles she’s probably not even aware she’s making. They must’ve hit it off quite well. She broke my heart, and yet I felt quite happy to share in her joy.

 

“His name was Adam… and he wasn’t much older than I am… and,” she said with light laughter, “apparently it was his first time… so we actually wound up talking for hours beforehand because he was so shy and nervous!”

 

One night and already she’s in love. There’s no doubting it… oh, to be young again. I kind of wished Eralia would get out of the shower already so she could see this. “Sounds like you two got along great,” I said, trying to match her enthusiasm. Did I succeed? Doubtful.

 

“Yeah, we talked so much I let Lydia leave without me ‘cause we hadn’t done anything yet. Afterwards, the two of us walked back to Zoe’s house, chatting the entire way. I think I got there right as the dawn started showing… and then he called a taxi… and we waited for it to show up on the playground stuff next to their building.” Laska’s sunny smile began to cloud, but the mirth in her voice remained. The way she talked almost made me feel giddy; imagine that. I think I was happy because she felt that thing she’d wanted to experience for the first time – love, or something close to it. And she even managed to make good on sharing a ‘first’ with that someone, in the most unlikely of places.

 

“But… the reason why he was even there last night… is because he’s…” Laska let out a massive sigh, and her face finally clouded over onto the verge of tears. “He’s already gone now…”

 

“Gone? What? Did he die or something?”

 

Glowering fiercely at me, Laska made a small growl. “You know what I mean… his dad got relocated to a tiny town with an almost non-existent monstergirl population. He told me he wanted to be with a ‘cute, fluffy girl’ before he moved.”

 

Well, that’s certainly one of the shortest romances ever told. Still, Laska certainly seemed to have enjoyed the experience.

 

“I… really liked him. He hung onto every word I said, and was so impressed when I told him I rode bikes and stuff. When we were… well, he also ran a finger across my scars and told me they made me even more beautiful…and…” Her blush finally reached its peak, and she brought up her paws to hold her cheeks as she wriggled about energetically. I never thought I’d see her act in this… manner.

 

A most un-ladylike guffaw followed by snorting laughter from the entrance heralded the arrival of my savior from this teenage love story. Laska’s head whipped sharply, and she glared at the one who’d dared to laugh at her.

 

“How much of that did you hear?” my daughter demanded with a not-so-subtle threat underlining her tone.

 

Wearing naught by a towel, Eralia strolled into the room, taking a seat on the back of the couch above Laska. “I was hanging around about when you said lover boy was moving.” She then reached down with a paw, stroking the tip of one of Laska’s ears. “Sorry I laughed at you dear, but it was just so… well, it’s very cute, really,” she said with a highly amused face.

 

Laska simply pouted.

 

“So, are you two going to keep in touch or something?” Eralia asked, tilting her head slightly.

 

Glaring daggers at Eralia for a few seconds until her fierce countenance broke down. “Yeah… as friends, I guess…”

 

I sighed, thinking it awfully cruel that Laska had been extended this opportunity at happiness, only to have it yanked away as soon as she reached for it. “Well, maybe in the future something could work out?”

 

Some of her brightness returned as Laska considered that – the future. “I like to think… but even if not, for one night at least I got to experience a little bit of my dream.” The brave smile she wore did little to mask the longing in her eyes.

 

--

 

Through the spring and summer, Laska did indeed keep in touch with Adam. I kind of figured she’d be all secretive regarding things he’d told her, but, as often happened, I was wrong. Every now and then, maybe once or twice a week, she’d bring him up in a conversation. How he was doing, what he was up to – typical friend stuff, though the passion with which she spoke made it clear she pined for him like nothing else.

 

Eralia and I had talked about what to do regarding the long-distance non-relationship, and ultimately we decided to just let her have at it. If she was happy, then I was happy; my only real concern was that she may be overlooking other opportunities.

 

However, there was one good thing that came out of it. In her talks with Adam, Laska had apparently zeroed in on mechanical engineering as her future field of study. Adam was apparently something of the ‘artistic’ type and wanted to do modeling or design, though he couldn’t decide which. Laska’d somehow pushed him towards her hobby of choice – motorcycles and dirtbikes, so perhaps she wanted to build things he designed. It was a cute idea, even if a little unrealistic.

 

 

 

During the early part of summer I had a bit of an episode where I was laid up with dizziness and such for almost an entire day, rather than my typical short-lived spells. Eralia and Laska wanted me to go to a doctor, but I shrugged it off as being related to my age and fatigue.

 

 

 

Otherwise, the rest of the year went by without much happening. That is, until it was time for Laska’s 16th birthday. It was a small affair, with Zoe and a handful of acquaintances showing up. Not willing to let Lydia and Zoe outdo us, Eralia and I got together to buy Laska a semi-decent vehicle, though it’d be my responsibility to teach her how to drive.

 

A curious surprise occurred as well – a package arrived for Laska. Inside was a thin, long box along with a card. There was no name on the sender field, but I had an idea upon seeing Laska’s reaction.

 

First she read the card, and I could see emotion welling up as her eyes scanned down. Eralia noticed as well, and we shared a knowing sigh. Zoe and the others wanted to see what was on the card and in the box, but they were no match for Laska’s ability to teleport around. She never revealed what was inside to Zoe and the others, no matter how much they asked.

 

Once she’d read through the card several times and glanced inside the small, suspiciously jewelery-like box, she stashed the items away in her room as we were all leaving to go out for dinner and then whatever else they wanted to do.

 

They even went to The Rendezvous again, but I couldn’t tell you if she participated in anything. We dropped them off, then after a few hours they let us know to pick them up. Laska was with them this time around, so I know that at least she hadn’t become enthralled with another young man. I like to think that she simply stood aside as they had their fun, or maybe even watched, but I doubt she was active in anything.

 

When we dropped everyone else off at their homes and got back to our own, Laska made a beeline for her room. Eralia and I regarded her curiously, waiting to see what would happen. A few moments later, Laska re-appeared with a new necklace.

 

Adorning the silver necklace were a gear, what looked like a brush, and a small heart, each on a very short length of silver chain. Engineer, artist, and love, huh?

 

Laska gave us a bright smile, but otherwise didn’t say anything regarding her new jewelry. Eralia and I shared a grin, and decided to let her be.

 

 

 

The following week came time to go out driving with Laska. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. After all, she can ride a dirtbike pretty well. How hard could it be to learn the road in a car? I did it, didn’t I?

 

It started well enough. Laska passed her learner’s permit written test easily – as most people do. And, just as easily, she learned how to work the foot operated clutch and transmission in the little sports car she wanted; an older two-door convertible roadster.

 

Before we set out on our first actual drive, rather than just up and down the street to learn the clutch and such, Eralia took me aside.

 

“Honey, I just wanted to let you know something…” she said somberly.

 

Sitting down tying my shoes, I looked up at her, slightly confused. “What’s that?”

 

“Well, you know us anubii are judges of the dead, right?”

 

I looked at her askance. “Yes…?”

 

She smiled uneasily, like she was watching someone heading for certain death but knew she could not stop them. “I just wanted to let you know you have nothing to fear in the afterlife.” Eralia capped her words by patting my shoulder.

 

“…Thanks? I think you’re making a big deal out of this. Laska will be fine.”

 

“Such a brave, brave man,” she said, dabbing at her eyes.

 

With a groan and a roll of my eyes, I stood up and gave her a kiss before I went out the door. “We’ll be fine. No need for theatrics.”

 

She sighed, shifting a paw to a hip. “Yeah yeah, but still, it’s going to be a sixteen-year-old girl out in traffic. Good luck,” she said, returning my kiss.

 

Laska was already in the car, waiting to get out and about. Fearless, or reckless, enthusiasm? Only time would tell.

 

“All set?” I asked, settling down into the seat and buckling up.

 

The sunglasses Laska wore hid her eyes, and the blowing wind tussled her hair about. To cap it off was broad, excited smile. “You know it!”

 

Testing the door handle for its sturdiness, I decided it’d be sufficient for those ‘oh shit!’ moments. And, as she began hurtling backwards down the driveway, I began making good use of that handle.

 

“Oh hell, slow down and look before you…” my words became meaningless as the car darted out into the street. My heart was already pounding. I was beginning to think Eralia was not exaggerating, and I could only imagine how hard she must be laughing inside. Or crying. Maybe both.

 

“Don’t worry dad, no one was coming. I know what I’m doing.” Laska said, her eyebrows bending down behind the frames of her glasses.

 

Where was the overly cautious girl I knew and loved? Who was this boisterous, reckless demon?

 

In a display of her prowess, she accidentally dumped the clutch, squealing the tires and sending us off in a lurch. “Oops,” is all she had to say.

 

I gave her my best ‘dad stare,’ causing her to wither somewhat. “Er, sorry,” she finished. The rest of the trip down the street and the first turn onto the avenue were… normal. And I had begun to hope that things would be fine from here on out.

 

“So, uh, where are we going?” Laska asked.

 

“Good question… I forgot about that…” I replied, thinking about what was in the direction we were headed. “Your school is this way, so let’s head there. You know the way, right?”

 

Brushing some of the hair that had whipped across her face and stuck behind the lens of her glasses, Laska nodded. “Pretty sure.”

 

Cruising down the road, I saw the left turn we had to make was coming up. But Laska was still in the right-hand lane. Still not over… still not over… did she remember we had to turn there? To answer my question, she suddenly gasped and cranked hard over to dart into the lane. Without checking to see if anyone was there. Then she braked hard to avoid overshooting the intersection, coming to a halt in the middle when she could’ve gone. And she waited – there was a car coming the other way, but she had plenty of time.

 

Still waiting… ah, now it’s too late.

 

A car behind us honked, and apparently the sudden noised started Laska. She mashed the accelerator, dumped the clutch again, and whipped through the turn.

 

I got a pretty good look at that car’s headlights, and apparently his brakes were in good order as well. The guy driving was close enough that he and I were able to share a glance for the briefest of moments. In that shard of time, I did not see the surprise or anger I expected – no, I saw only pity as he shifted his gaze from the young woman driver to me. Perhaps he too had gone through this ordeal.

 

Time unfroze, and then we were clear of the intersection. My heart had caught up with the surge of adrenaline released as I narrowly slipped through the jaws of deaths moments before they closed around me.

 

“Laska.” I said, dad-voice in full effect.

 

“What?! We were fine! Plenty of room!”

 

I doubt she believed her own words. “I could have reached out and touched the hood of that car. Just thought you might want to know you almost killed your father.”

 

“Dad! You were fine! We’re fine. Everything is fine.”

 

Rolling my head across my shoulder, due to still being paralyzed with terror, I noticed Laska was shaking. So, she’s now scared shitless as well. We needed a time out.

 

“Laska, sweetie. Dear. Please pull over for a minute. Look, there’s a turn in for a parking lot… and there it goes…” I said, following the driveway with my head.

 

If it wasn’t for her fur, her knuckles would’ve been ghost-white. Kind of like the ones on my right hand, clinging dearly to the door handle.

 

“Okay, fine! That was stupid of me. I’m fine, I got this.” It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than me. Well, at least her gung-ho attitude was gone. She was saying ‘fine’ an awful lot. It may just have been my sarcastic attitude, but for some reason I didn’t think she was ‘fine.’

 

She slowed down a bit. Well, a lot. To the point cars were piling up behind us. Then they began honking. Laska went to speed up, but wound up mis-shifting and grinding gears. Flustered even further, her mistakes compounded atop themselves.

 

I guess I could understand why she was making mistakes, but this was just too much. Was she just overwhelmed?

 

A turn off to a side street was just ahead, and again I urged Laska to make the turn. Fortunately she listened to this time, though she made the maneuver rather… fast.

 

“Let’s stop for a second, sweetie. You’re obviously not… well,” I said, to which she nervously nodded.

 

Once we were stopped, she seemed to have to pry herself off the wheel, then slumped down and relaxed. My own heart was still racing, and I could feel the fringes of dizziness approaching, but I did the best I could to fight it off.

 

Allowing for some time so we could both unwind a touch, I closed my eyes and waited for my heart rate to fall some. “Laska. That was… something. What’s got you all jumpy?”

 

Frazzled beyond belief, she took a few deep breaths before answering. “Fuck if I know... I… almost missed the turn and then I got all panicky… and people were getting mad, and then I almost killed you, and then they got mad again…”

 

Well, at least the edge on her voice was gone. “You don’t get bothered when you’re in a pack of riders, out on the dirt…”

 

She took off her glasses, exposing her eyes as she looked at me. “Yeah… but here there’s laws and rules and all sorts of shit to think about. And speed limits.”

 

Despite my efforts, the vertigo had settled in, and I leaned forward against the dash.

 

“You okay, dad?” came Laska’s worried voice.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Just the usual. Anyways. You have rules to follow out on the track. It’s not much different here. They’re just… different rules, rules you already know.”

 

Laska sighed. “I… guess. It’s just… new… and a little scary.”

 

I rolled my forehead on my head to get a look at my daughter. “You should know by now that they don’t have to be.”

 

She tilted her head back and forth in a manner I hadn’t seen for a while. “So you’re saying I get myself all hyped up for no reason?”

 

Spot on, I thought with a smirk. “That’s the gist of it. Though, we all get worked up over new shit, it’s just in how you deal with it, I suppose. We learn when we’re uncomfortable… when you first started riding dirt bikes you kept yourself pretty calm and learned quick, despite all your mistakes,” I said with a smile. “No idea why you’re all… spooked and shit now.”

 

As I thought about that, I realized that she’d become kind of a typical teenager. Impulsive, emotional, and quick to jump to conclusions. Fortunately, she still had her logical faculties about her, and could often think through things. Apparently she thought the same.

 

“I… don’t know either. Once I get going it’s hard for me to stop…” she groaned, resting her head on the steering wheel, almost as mimic to me. “This shit sucks, honestly. I can’t even tell you why I got all… that way,” she said, contorting her lips in disgust.

 

“But, tell you what,” she said as she sat up and shook her shoulders and arms. “We’ll head to the school and back, and you just… lay there… I got this!”

 

Rolling my eyes – a gesture that I immediately regretted as it set my head spinning anew – I forced myself to lean back in the seat rather than resting on the dash. “If you say so, sweetie. Show me what you’ve got, and please, try to avoid killing me.”

 

Smiling, she put the car into gear – this time without dumping the clutch – and off we went. Again.

 

Of course, she didn’t miraculously become a veteran, experienced driver. There were many moments when I had to close my eyes and pray, but on the flip side I didn’t feel death’s icy touch caress my cheek again. Improvement already.

 

I’ll take what I can get, I suppose.