Title:           Spaghetti Sparkle: Hearts and Hooves Special
Author:          bettyspaghetti
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/1fsb4Amy
First Edit:      Thursday 14th of February 2013 04:17:13 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 14th of February 2013 04:17:13 PM CDT

Spaghetti Sparkle: Hearts and Hooves Special
 
Previous Chapters
http://pastebin.com/u/bettyspaghetti
 
Spaghetti Sparkle is an interactive story with a fake DeviantART. Feel free to post, I'll try to respond!
http://spaghettisparklechan.deviantart.com/
 
>It’s a fairly normal day in Ponyville
>as normal as it can get while married to Twilight Sparkle anyway
>she was acting strange this morning, stranger than normal
>she seemed nervous
>before you could ask what was up, Spitfire called in sick
>she’s been a decent employee for the last few months
>you determine that it’s fine for her to have a day off to get high or whatever she does these days
>now you have to mind the store for today
>you’ll deal with Twilight when you get home
 
>The store is busy today
>there are lots of couples picking up romantic comedies and dramas
>Spike walks into the store
>he’s looking you right in the eye and giving you a big swagger grin as he walks across the store all the way to the porn section
>he snaps his fingers, raises his eyebrow and points at you as he slips past the saloon doors to the porn section
>what the fuck
>you notice that everyp0ny else was staring at him the entire time
>then they all shift their focus on you
>you tighten your tie and give them the most honest shrug in your life
 
>Spike takes ages to choose his fuck-tape
>when he makes his selections, he once again strides out of the saloon doors
>this time he looks at other ponies, giving them nods of appeal and winks and whatnot
>it’s freaking everyp0ny out
What the fuck Spike? Why are you doing this?
>he arrives at the counter, his swagger grin still plastered onto his face
>he places four porno DVDs on the counter
Cash or credit?
>he speaks through his teeth
>S:”Cash. So cash.”
ID?
>he starts sweating
>Spike pulls out some ID he has in his pocket and hands it to you
It says you’re a baby dragon.
>he nods enthusiastically
You’re underage. Get the fuck out of here.
>S:”B-b-b-b-BUT!!”
 
>Just as Spike was about to make his protest, Fluttershy enters the store
>she has a little heart shaped card in her mouth
Hello Fluttershy!
>FS:”H-hello Anon…”
>Spike runs over to Fluttershy and pleads at her hooves
>S:”Please Fluttershy! I need your help!”
>FS:”Oh my!”
>S:”Please! Could you rent this porn for me!?”
>he shoves the DVDs in her face
>from a distance, you can feel Fluttershy’s heart race
>FS:”I… um…”
>S:”PLEASE! It’s Hearts and Hooves day and Sweetie Belle and I—“
It’s Hearts and Hooves day?!
>S:”Uhm… yeah! Duh.”
Shit.
 
>Fluttershy floats over to you
>FS:”Anon… will you be… m-my… uhm… well I know you’re married but… uhm… would it be okay if I c-could s-still be your special somep0ny for Hearts and Hooves day e-every year?”
>every year previously, you had let Fluttershy be your valentine—or whatever they call it—to appease her in hopes of it preventing a rape attempt
Yeah sure! But I think you should still try to put yourself out there and find a new special somep0ny.
>a blush creeped across her face
>FS:”Thanks, A-Anon!”
>you’re certain she didn’t hear anything past “Yeah sure”
>FS:”Could I also b-buy these *gulp* DVDs? F-for Spike?”
Yeah fine, whatever.
 
>You barely give a fuck about Spike and the underaged thing anymore. Now you’re just worried about getting Twilight a present for Hearts and Hooves day
>then a thought crosses your mind
>What did she get YOU for Hearts and Hooves day?!
>for your birthday, all she got for you was an empty box of condoms
>the message was clear
>of course, this was when she was in heat
>maybe it’ll be something nice
>flowers don’t really seem like her style or anyp0ny’s style now that you think about it
>they eat flowers after all
>there’s a very good chance it’ll be a book
>what would it be about though?
>all you can conjure in your mind is a book about various deviant sex acts
>or anime
>FS:”H-hello?”
Huh? What?
>while daydreaming, you still haven’t given Fluttershy her change back for her rental
Oh sorry.
>what should you get for Twilight?
>you get her Yu-gi-oh cards and lilacs every day after work, so that would be a lame gift
>she’s eating a healthier diet, maybe you could get her some pocky sticks or whatever weeaboo bullshit candy she likes
>nah, she probably got something more expensive
>maybe you should get her a tablet computer so that she can make better drawings on deviantART
>nah, she’s not that good at drawing yet, besides, it’s too expensive
>does she even post on that DeviantART anymore?
>ever since the two of you got married, all you’ve done together is watch Netflix and have sex all the time
>maybe a nice dinner out would be a good present
>it would be a nice change of pace too
>you remember your second date with Twilight at the Italian place
>you remember the smell of vomit vividly
>instinctually, you shake your head
 
>you decided on the cheapest and lamest gift of all
>a sex coupon
>it reads: “I, Anonymous, concede to do whatever you deem fit and proper in bed this evening and this evening only. This includes weird magics and other such non-sense that you deem sexually exciting.”
>nothing could be worse than magma marehood
>nothing
>just in case, as a back up, you got her some extra yu-gi-oh cards
 
=======
 
>you arrive home to a familiar sight, Twilight doing science
>she's still trying to find out why you are infertile
>current theories include: "That jerk Rainbow Dash"
>she's just frustrated though, they're still friends
>Rarity is at the house today however, which is strange
>Rarity is dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, her makeup is running
>you drop your bag
What's wrong Rarity?!
>Rarity jumps to her hooves
>RAR:"AHHRGH!"
>Twilight sees you through a test-tube
>Twi:"Anon!"
>she drops what she's doing, teleports to your side and nuzzles your leg
>you give her a one armed hug and whisper into her ear
What's up with Rarity?
>Twilight squees
>Twi:"It's a SECRET between us girls!"
Uh... okay?
>sobbing, Rarity gallops past the two of you and out of the house
>...
Was it something you said or...?
>Twi:"It's a ssseeeecret!"
Uh huh... anyway! Happy Hearts and Hooves day!
>Twi:"You remembered! I knew you would!"
>she nuzzles your leg again
I got you a present.
>Twi:"Uh... a present?"
Yeah, wanna open it?
>Twi:"Uhm... l-let me go get my present..."
>as she starts trotting toward the bedroom, you follow her
>Twi:"Uhh..."
>she's sweating
>Twi:"It's not wrapped yet!"
Twilight, it's okay if you didn't get me a present.
>Twi:"I DID! I just... need time to wrap it!"
>Twilight tries to plan everything in advance, she wouldn't have forgotten to wrap her present
>you give her a sly look
Okay Twi, but just make sure it's not anime.
>Twi:"Okay! I MEAN... it's NOT."
 
>after a long time, she emerges from the bedroom with a present
>it's wrapped in shining red and gold paper with a white bow on top
>Twi:"Anon~ I think you'll like it~"
>you brandish your gift
>it's in a plain white envelope with a tiny red bow on top
>she nabs it out of your hand with magic
>on the card it says: "To my dearest little equine, Twilight"
>Twi:"Awww."
>she opens the envelope with her teeth and finds the coupon
>Twi:"*giggle* That's SO cheesy Anon~!"
Heh... I know...
>Twi:"Maybe my gift will influence your gift... heh heh heh"
>that doesn't sound good
>you rip the paper from the present to reveal a plain brown book
>on the front cover are words in gold print: SCAT
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!
>Twi:"B-but--"
SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
>Twi:"S-so my coupon is not valid?"
>she puts on her little pouty face
NOT WORKING THIS TIME, HONEY.
>Twi:"But I always thought you had such a nice voice! It's so... manly!"
Wait... voice? What?
>Twilight opens the book
>it's about Scat singing
Twilight, did you just pick this up at random?
>she looks you in the eye
>you stare at her right back
>...
>she looks at the floor, downcast
>Twi:"Yes..."
>...
Happy Hearts and Hooves day.
>she pounces on you
>Twi:"Can I use my coupon now?"
Hey, it's your coupon!
 
[THE END?]