Shy-Pie 3 - Polka Poisoned Pony

Shy-Pie 3 - Polka Poisoned Pony

 

>it's been a few days since your incident with Pinkie Pie

>you haven't seen her around town since then

>you're starting to get worried

>you don't want Pinkie Pie to hate you!

>if the friendliest pony EVER hates you, what's the point?

>you became a socialite because of her

>you can't let your inspiration just hate you for no reason!

>but before you leave the house, Rarity calls you over

>RY:"Oh daaaarling~! Time to get your mane-cut!"

>oh shit, you forgot!

>Rarity cuts your hair every two weeks

>she has to keep up your appearance, since you're a sort of advertizement for her handiwork... hoofdiwork?

>whatever

 

>RY:"Take a seat, dearie. It's time!"

>you sit on the revolving worn leather chair where Rarity does her mane-cutting

>the beige leather is cracked from over-use

>you wonder how ponies get leather

>Applejack owns a cow... but it talks...

>then again, magic

>RY:"I'm just going to keep your current style, but thin it out a bit. Okay?"

Do I have a choice?

Nooope! *giggle*

>she begins her skilled work

Did you notice Pinkie Pie is avoiding me?

>RY:"No. Is she?"

Yeah. Remember when we were at the New Years celebration--

>RY:"Sorry dearie! I didn't spend that evening around you. You had your other friends. I didn't want to bother you."

You wouldn't have bothered me, we're best friends!

>RY:"HEH! Um... Well! Uh... I..."

>...

>Rarity steadies her aim with the scissors and cuts your bangs

Now that I think about it, you were avoiding me too. What's up?

>RY:"First of all, I'd prefer it if you didn't use such crass phrases as: 'what's up'"

>she makes air-quotes with her little hooves and then continues to cut your hair

>...

And second of all?

>RY:"Oh! Um... I don't want ponies getting any -ideas- about us... being together. We live together and do so much together that... other ponies have started talking...

>you laugh

>RY:"Anon! Stay still! I'm trying to cut your mane!"

Oh! Sorry! But... really? Ponyville thinks we're dating?

>RY:"It's all just... talk!"

>Rarity scrunches her face as she combs your hair

 

>RY:"Anyway. You were talking about Pinkie?"

Yeah. She flipped out when I hugged her.

>RY:"You hugged -her-? She didn't hug you?"

Well, the CMCs...

>RY:"I see. A long story, I'm sure."

>Rarity brandishes the 'texture scissors'

Anyway, long story short, she frowns at me and says it was a "bad idea." Then she gallops off and I haven't seen her since. I'm going to go talk to her.

>RY:"Whoa there! You can't just go to her directly!"

What? Why not?

>RY:"A lady deserves respect. You need to talk to her friends first to decern the problem. Then you build a plan from there.

Could you...?

I'd be happy to, but I've got a big order coming up. Maybe Twilight can help you.

Sounds like a good idea. I'll head over there today.

>RY:"You'll head over there right now! I'm all done."

>she brushes your neck with baby powder to reduce itching

>Rarity brooms all of your loose hair together and bids you farewell

>you get past the mailbox when you remember that you forgot your scarf

>you go back into the Carousel Boutique to find Rarity at the kitchen table

>all of your loose hair is on the table

>RY:"Anon! Uhm... I... What brings you back so soon?"

Forgot my scarf. What's with the hair?

>RY:"Oh! HA! Um... funny story!"

>she's blushing

>RY:"The garbage is full so... um... I put it on the table and...Oh! Anon! Could you take the garbage out? Thanks! Well anyway... I decided to wash the floor nice and good and the table was dirty so I thought that if I put the hair on the table I could wash the floor faster because the garbage is full and I'd take out the garbage later and put the hair in there! Then I'd wash the table of your dirty stinky hair!"

>she's sweating bullets

O-okay?

>Rarity is obsessive, sometimes logic isn't her strong suit

>you'll just let it go for now

Bye Rarara!

>RY:"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

 

>you're on your way to Twilight's library-house-thing

>while passing through town square, you say hi to some acquaintances

>it's lunch time, so a lot of ponies are out eating flowers in the outdoor restaurants

>you're chatting with Lily when you hear something

>it's sort of like a marching band with lots of polka thrown in

>Lil:"What's that?

I don't know...

>all the ponies in the restaurant look over at the horizon where the noise is coming from

>gradually, you make out a pony

>it's Pinkie Pie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2aHdtD2dqk

>she's playing what looks like four different instruments at the same time

>every few yards, she stops playing, sits down and talks to herself

>eventually, she makes it to town square and sits down for a break

>PP:"Why won't you go away!"

>she starts coughing like a mad-pony

>PP:"GET OUT!"

>she starts playing more polka for a minute, then stops

>everyp0ny is staring

>she gives no fucks

>Pinkie Pie starts forcing a cough

>Rose trots over to her

>Rose:"Are you okay, Pinkie? We're all worried."

>PP:"Yeah! I'll be..."

>she punches her stomach with her hoof

>she contorts in pain and falls over, managing to utter:

>PP:"I'm... fiiine *cough*"

>Pinkie Pie looks over and spots you in the crowd

>PP:"AHHH!"

>she clenches her eyes shut and vigorously starts massaging her stomach

>PP:"IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU! RUN EVERYP0NY, RUN!"

>she begins writhing on the ground until she gets on her hooves

>she stumbles into a few buildings in her escape since her eyes are still closed and starts playing more polka again a quarter mile out

>everyp0ny slowly cranes their head toward you

>...

What?!

 

>you furiously knock on Twilight's door

>a sleepy Spike answers

>SP:"Whaaaaat?"

I need to talk to Twilight. It's about Pinkie.

>SP:"Sure. Come on in. Twilight's in bed reading. Rainbow Dash is here too."

Oh. What's the occasion?

>Spike rubs his eyes

>SP:"The new Daring Doo adventure came out last night. They had a slumber party."

Cool.

>SP:"You'd think a slumber party about reading would be quiet."

>Spike yawns

>SP:"But you'd be wrong."

 

~~~END PART 3~~~

 

>PP:"Hehehehe! I'm silly in this one!"

---Sure are.---

>PP:"Rarity is silly too. I never understood her logic."

---You're one to speak. Compared to you, Rarity is like Spock.---

>PP:"*giggle* Who's Spook!?

---Nevermind.---

>PP:"Oh, and Aanon, don't think I don't read feedback! I'm NOT annoying! TAKE IT BACK YOU JERK!"

---Calm down Pinkamena. It's just his opinion.---

>PP:"It's MY opinion that Aanon is a... MEANIE!"

---Pinkamena pls go---

>PP:"Stop being ironic. It's not cute OR funny."

---Ouch.---