Jew in Equestria (MLP iOS Game Parody)

[Jew in Equestria]

 

>you've been made mayor of Ponyville

>Nightmare Moon was up to bullshit again and she made everything night

>Ponyville was destroyed

>you have to rebuild Ponyville and rescue ponies from darkness

>so far, Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie have been rescued, including dozens of other less important ponies

>the ponies chose you as mayor since they knew you were tight with money

>you were a banker in Israel, after all

 

>Ponyville looks like shit, but it's for the greater good

>the parasprite invasions have forced you to reevaluate city-planning

>the new paradigms don't jive well with the current residents however

>today is the town hall meeting

>Twilight Sparkle has the stage before she introduces you

>TS:"And... without further ado, Mayor Anon!"

>nop0ny claps

Hello my fellow Equestrians.

>"BOOOOOO."

I know you're not happy, but sacrifices must be made.

>Pinkie Pie stands up

Yes?

>PP:"Why are you forcing me to work in the granary!? I wanna work for the bakery!"

It's because you don't have enough stars. You need to play ball with me more. Or you could stop being lazy and collect green apples. Next.

>Scootaloo raises her hoof

Yes?

>Scoots:"Where's the best mare of all?! Rainbow Dash!"

She costs 90 gems. That's fucking outrageous. You're going to have to elect me for another 7 terms in order to get her. Next?

>Rose stands up

>Rose:"Where are the flowerbeds!? Where's the grass?!"

We paved over them, we cant afford parasprites at this stage in our economy.

>the crowd erupts

>AJ:"Anon! YOU'RE BEING MIGHTY... JEWISH!"

>TS:"Applejack!"

>AJ:"It's true! He's a JEW! I know he spent money this thanksgiving on gems... he's just being a GREEDY JEW!"

>the crowd roars

>anti-Semite fervor is reaching unbearable levels

Gavalt!