Title:           Anon and the Ugly Pony 4-6
Author:          bettyspaghetti
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/T0Ye9C60
First Edit:      Monday 12th of November 2012 12:43:54 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 12th of November 2012 12:43:54 PM CDT

[Anon and the ugly pony 4 - The legend of Curly's Gold]
 
>you're in Appolusa and it's really hot out
>you're looking for curly's gold from City Slickers 2
>Rainbow Dash is there helping and Twilight is there to verify the gold as legit
>Twilight is the best at looking since lolmagic
>you have a shovel and its taking a long time to look
>Rainbow dash has a shovel too but you dont know why ponies have shovels since they done have hands
>all of a sudden, Spitfire shows up and is wearing some out-of-date threads
>she looks like a 19th century whore
>lol, crack didn't exist back in the 19th century so there can't be a 19th century crack whore
>but there she is
 
>Spit:"Hey guythh you want to fuck?"
>she has a lisp because he has very few teeth from cock smoking
>RD:"No."
>Spit:"Aw man! You uthed to love me Rainbow Dathh! What happened, man?"
>RD:"You started doing meth. Winners don't use drugs."
>Spit:"Thathsss no way to thpeak to your mother!"
>Twi:"*GASP*"
*gasp*
>RD:"You're not my mom, you junkie."
>Spit:"hehehe, you're right LOL"
>she said "lol" out loud
>Twi:"Rainbow Dash! You don't know how right you are! This isn't Spitfire! This is a cum-golem!"
>Spit:"I will show you my final form."
>she pukes up semen and passes out
>Twi:"Oh. Never mind, she was just full of cum."
>you kick Spitfire over so she doesn't drown in cum
>under her body is Curly's gold
>it's rightfully hers
>when she wakes up she takes it and spends it all on drugs
 
 
 
[Anon and the ugly pony 5]
 
>you're trying to have a good turkey club at denny's
>you're surprised they sell meat in ponyville now
>you don't care though since delicious meats are in your tummy
>after the crack smoking at the theater, you became addicted
>Spitfire is your dealer
>shitsux
>you need a new dealer
>Spitfire comes in the denny's with her new black boyfriend
>it's thunderlane
>he'll fuck anything huh?
 
>oh shit, hes beating her up in public
>you need to help!
>you go over there and punch thunderlane out
>you hold your hand out to Spitfire like in Back to the Future 1 and say,
Are you okay?
>Spit:"Yeah, dog! I'm alright yo!
>she talks like a black man now
>she's ruined
>you still jackoff in front of her and cum in her eye in a crowded diner
>Spit:"Ow!"
For dry, red eyes, Clear Eyes™ is awesome. It removes redness and has an ingredient to moisturize.
>Spit:"My eyes aren't dry! They're wet with cum!"
QUIET! I'M DOING A COMMERCIAL
 
 
 
[Anon and the ugly pony 6]
 
>one day you were chilling at sugar cube corner eating pancakes
>they didn't have waffles today
>fucking Pinkiestop
>you got over your crack habit with all of the advertizing dollars you raked in with your Clear Eyes™ promotion
>Before you could get over it Rainbow Dash broke up with you
>fucking biiiiitch
>you met your current girlfriend, Pinkie Pie, in rehab
>you love her but she's not the way she used to be on drugs
>she's not as hyper now and is generally just a normal pony
>you want a normal life
>life is good
 
>then Spitfire walks in the door
>fucking whore
>she coughs up some blood
>you wonder what kind of fight she was in
>oh wait, he has a mouse in her mouth
>she's trotting over to you
>oh, she's giving you a dead mouse as a present
>Spit:"Heeey Anon... you got any stuff?"
No Spitfire, I'm clean.
>Spit:"Holy shit, man... you're clean???"
Yeah.
>Spit:"Could you do a piss test for me? I have a job interview in an hour."
>*sniff* *sniff*
>yeah, she still smells like baked trash and dog shit (maybe a cock or two)
You'll never get a job smelling like that.
>Spit:"Whaaaaat? Really?"
Yeah.
>Spit:"Can you help wash me?"
Sure.
>you go grab some Febreze© and spray it all over Spitfire
>you're pretty liberal with it
>polish shower, fuck yeah
>Spit:"Okay, now I need your piss."
Where's the cup?
>Spit:"Just put it in my mouth."
You don't have a job interview.
>Spit:"Do it anyway."
Fuck you.
>you go upstairs and fuck your normal, non-hyper pink girlfriend