Title:           Anon and the Ugly Pony 10-12
Author:          bettyspaghetti
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/gHV5xtBc
First Edit:      Monday 12th of November 2012 12:45:44 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 12th of November 2012 12:45:44 PM CDT

[Anon and the Ugly Pony 10]
 
>after another time in rehab, your girlfriend Pinkie Pie is back to normal
>in fact, you're much closer because you were there for her during a hard time
>unlike Rainbow Dash, that bitch
>it's your birthday today
>for a present, Pinkie Pie got you a giant foam finger
>aw! Thanks Pinkie!
>Rainbow Dash got you a Jack Daniels
>you'll have to sell it, you're off the sauce
>Spitfire busts into you home
What do you want crack whore?
>Spit:"I just want to spend some time with my best friend on his birthday!"
>you cautiously let her in Sugarcube Corner (your house you live with Pinkie in now)
>PP:"I know we've had our differences, but we should be friends! What makes you smile Spitfire?"
>Spit:"Meth."
>PP:"A-anything else?"
>Spit:"Making crystal meth."
>PP:"I don't have a meth lab... ummm..."
>Spit:"Could I use your basement to make crystal meth?"
>PP:"I don't knoww--"
>Spit:"It's my birthday."
>PP:"I guess that's okay then, if it's your birthday..."
 
>it's been three months and Spitfire hasn't left
>she has a permanent meth lab under sugarcube corner now
>Pinkie won't let you call the police this time because it was Spitfire's birthday present
>Sugarcube corner slowly goes out of business because it's a meth hang out
>you and Pinkie move away into a regular house
>Pinkie has clinical depression now
>fucking spitfire
 
 
 
[Anon and the Ugly Pony 11]
 
>Pinkie Pie let her hair down during her depression and it was both beautiful and sad at the same time
>it was all Spitfire's fault
>she wrecked your girlfriend's life
>she wrecked your life!
>you're going to wreck her shit!!
 
>you go down to the meth lab and light some fires
>all of a sudden, Sugarcube corner is totally ablaze
>you don't even care if Spitfire died right now
>you hear some explosions from under the ground
>it turns out that Spitfire wasn't there because she was just coming back from the grocery store
>Spit:"AW SHIT NIG NOG! NO YOU DI-EEENT"
I did.
>Spit:"UH UH GURL, THAT AIN'T RIGHT!"
You betrayed the law!
>Spit:"LAWWWWWWW"
>you kung-fu fight
>she goes in slow from the left just like Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars™ Episode II Attack of the Clones™
>you catch her off guard with your punchy fists of doom
>her only weakness
>you trust your fist into her eye at full force
>Spitfire lay unconscious on the ground
>you yell like Vegita in dragonball z
AHHHHHHHHHWHWWHWWWWWHAAAAAAAA
>the methlab finally explodes the entire house
>Thuderlane's burning corpse falls to your feet
>you situate his body so that it looks like Spitfire was trying to consume his flesh
 
>the police show up
>Pinkie is there and she breaks up with you on the spot since you caused no smiles this day, only sads
NOOOO!!!
>you get thrown in jail for framing Spitfire for cannibalism
>the next day, you find out you're in the same cell
>she's uglier than ever
>Spitfire tries to sell you some cigarettes as if nothing happened
>fucking Spitfire
 
 
 
[Anon and the Ugly Pony 12]
 
>you're in jail for framing a pony for cannibalism
>Spitfire is your cellmate
>she tries to extol sexual favors from you but you wont budge
>she could have STDs
>you don't want to risk sexual involvement with such an ugly pony
>she still smells like kicked trash and an ancient fart
>it makes it hard to sleep
>manual labor is a blast
>you're forced to clean all of the fun-balls in the MacDonalds' play-place by hand
>it's hard for ponies who don't have hands
>but you have hands so it's really easy
>sometimes there's horse poop on them, but it's no big deal
 
>Since Equestrian society is so matriarchal, most of the ponies in prison are mares
>some of them are even hot like you're banging ex-marefriend Pinkie Pie
>Spitfire scares them all away with her threats though
>she wants you all to herself
>after a week of prison, Pinkie Pie comes around and forgives you
>in the meeting room, you have dirty sex that's witnessed by security cameras
>you will save yourself for your marefriend
>Spitfire has other ideas
>she sneaks a crack rock into prison and forces you to smoke it
>in a crack-rage, you beat the shit out of your cell-mate
>she farted multiple times
>just before you can finish the final blow, you're dragged away by the authorities
>it would be four years until you saw Spitfire again
>you were on parole