Autumn's Child (Chapter 1: Hand Hunters) EDITED

Autumn's Child (Chapter 1: Hand Hunter)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpKPBy5E3NE

>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP

>Be Fluttershy

>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP

>Hear a taloned hand rapping on your chamber door.

>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP

>Since when was rapping so loud. The individual knocks of each bird claw on the thin wooden center of your door sound like little bolts of lightning.

>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP>RAP

>It's unbearable now. The raps are booming across your house. You can hear individual echoes bouncing on every wall in your cottage. You fall out of bed determined to make it stop. You feel a wetness between your legs and a slime trailing across your bed mixed with blood. You try to remember what in Celestia's name happened last night.

>RAPE>RAPE>RAPE>RAPE>RAPE>RAPE>RAPE

>The thought of your actions last night makes you jump to attention. What could have made you act so... unkind to a strange otherworldly creature. And where was he now?

>You open the door to a shifty looking draconequuis mid rap. You look positively worse for wear and blank facedly blow your nest of a mane out of your face, looking plainly at Discord.

Hello, Fluttershy. How very nice to see you. Being the element of kindness I was wondering if you could do me a.... teensy-weensy-eensy-eensy favor.

>He holds two fingers on his paw close together to indicate how "teensy weensy" the favor is, then shrinks his entire arm a good two or three times with each eensy.

>"Uh-huh" you reply snidely. A bird chirps near a stream a good 20 yards away and you hold your head for a second in pain.

I was wondering if you had seen anything that didn't belong here? Anything just the slightest bit unnatural?

>You eye him one brow raised and he quickly responds.

A species you've never seen before? Anything called a "Hugh-man" perchance?

>You can almost see the head of anon resting on your porch right now. You don't feel any urge to... [spoiler][\spoiler]>rape[spoiler][/spoiler] right now so why did you want to then? And then there is Discord sweating up a storm in front of your cottage.

>"Why do you ask?" you say bitterly. You're taken aback by your tone but you work with it for the morning. He of course, has but no choice to oblige and cranes his serpentine neck closer to your ear then ever. Suddenly everywhere windows are shut, critters are half-gently pushed out and doors are slammed. A magic field can be seen around every entrance of the house. Very slightly Discord starts up.

The investment, the experiment, had a little complication. It wasn't my fault. I just traveled to the other world through an airtight vacuum. But whoever invented the term airtight...

>You've had enough of this draconeequuis' excuses, he thinks you're some kind of fool. You notice a sparrow edging open your window before Discord violently slams it again.

...Wasn't a contender for element of honesty. So did you by any chance see something coming out of the forest. Something that slipped through?

>"Yes I did."

Oh you did. What a relief. Can I see him?

>You pause for a moment. Biting your lip. "He was outside my doorstep. I didn't let him in." The lie feels horrible on the back of your throat. This is your first time lying about something so big and it feels unbearable. No wonder Applejack is so honest the whole time.

>Discord looks bluntly stunned. A smirk forms on his face and he looks quite proud of you in a twisted way.

Didn't expect that from you Fluttershy. You should be inhospitable to strangers more often; it just might save your life. Any way I best be going. Next stop is the Heartstring house.

>Discord unceremoniously snaps his fingers and he's gone. The magic surrounding the cracks of the doors flickers on and off as you collapse back into bed.

>"Oh what I am I going to do with me?" you wistfully say to yourself. A second of thought and the animals piled up around your doors and windows fall back in your house.

>You suddenly have several woodland creatures, birds of every color, two gazelles, a large crocodile and a bear all piled in the middle of your bedroom waiting for that same reassuring smile and some food after what must have been aeons.

>You think for a minute and try to think of a kind thing to say. Something to bring everything back to normal but nothing comes to mind. You just lay there and don't say anything. And then all Tartarus breaks loose.

>The crocodile starts snapping at the antelope's legs. The birds immediately swarm out of the household, leaving bullet-holes in the windows. The bear thrashes about and knocks over bookshelves and finally leaves in a huff. Outside you can hear a tree collapsing, followed by three more. The beavers outside are chattering, louder and more vulgarly than ever.

>You see all this going on and you don't feel like doing a thing. You feel dry and poisoned and anchored in place. You just want to cuddle up into your bed and stay there. You haven't eaten since Anon visited and you feel just about ready to die.

>Thump>thump>thump>thump>thump>thump>thump

>You can hear the thumping of angel bunny. Once again asking for a tail fluffing or a salad just like every morning. You're tired of his rabbit-shit and you are determined to have a stare off. Put the little bugger in his place.

>You close your eyes and collect your energy for the mother of all stares to have him out of your life forever but when you open them you see the rabbit is motioning towards the chaos outside. You see the concern in his eyes and how scared and helpless he is among a bunch of wild creatures.

>He nuzzles into your side and you let him. "It's no trick to know what an animal is thinking." You remember telling Twilight when she first moved to ponyville. "It's all about looking into the eyes and the shoulders. Tell it calmly that everything's going to be fine and momma's here and before you know it they're going to listen to you." And you remember her asking.

And then I'll be able to hear what they're saying?

"No, not exactly. I found out I could talk to them on another level when I got my cutie mark. When you talk to them it's all about tone. Just remember, speak softly and carry tranquilizers."

>You can see the rifle Twilight got you for your birthday, strewn across the floor. Engraved on the side it says "Speak softly".

>You get up out of bed. Face determined, you march out into the forest. You cuddle those creatures till they cry, snuggle them until they beg you to stop. You talk kindly and lovingly to every animal in the forest and you immediately forgive them but Celestia-dammit they are going to respect you while you do it.

>After a day of hard work you look at all the calm and quiet around the cottage and you rush into your house, squeezing and giggling all the while. You pick up angel by the armpits, nuzzling him into you, you give a humongous cheer.

>"YAY! I can't believe it. I was so assertive back there, and I was nice while I did it. Everything is going to be perfect."

>Angel groggily motions to his stomach and you start flying. You zip past the kitchen cabinets and out falls a perfectly made plate of veggies. With ease you fly directly through the door and find yourself circling in the sky, going higher and higher. Angel scampers outside munching on a carrot and shields his eyes to see you silhouetted against the sunset.

>You feel invincible. "Everything is going to be just great." You say to yourself. "Everything is going to be just fine."

 

THE NEXT WEEK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0czaS8f2j8

>Be Applebloom

>You and the crusaders are going on your biggest mission yet because you heard from a reliable source the perfect way to earn your cutie marks. You just have to bring along a guest for this one.

>Walking through the Everfree forest you count the ponies around you. 1 (that's you)... 2 (Sweetie Belle is trotting happily behind) ... And just catching up; 3 (Scootaloo is propelling herself nervously as fast as her wings can carry her.)

>"Are we rid of her yet?" you ask quietly. Scootaloo replies with pride.

You bet. You should have seen me when I said I heard what sounded like human noises in the bushes WAY back there.

>She raises one hand above her head, points as far back as possible and dramatically exclaims

Oh Lyra, I am oh so frightened. I thought I heard people calls in those rosebushes all the way back by the entrance to the forest. Can you please leave the group and go searching for them all by yourself?

>Sweetie Belle gets indignant and pipes in.

That's not how you do it at all. When my sister Rarity is in distress she...

>You realize time is short so you bluntly say "Um... girls? Don't you think we should say what we need to say before SHE catches up with us." They both nod.

>"CRUSADERS HUDDLE!" you say as your theme music plays in your heads. You join arms around each other's shoulder's while talking very quietly. Scootaloo officially starts.

First order of business: Do you think old Ms. Heartstrings is just blowing hot air? Why'd we have to bring her along anyway?

>Sweetie Belle seconds the motion and you reply "Ah admit she is a bit of a..."

Ruffian?

Egghead?

>"Ok, I admit she is rather queer. But she says she heard from Discord himself that there were shenanigans involved with another world. And just because she's dressed like Granny Smith on Zap-Apple Jam day doesn't mean she would lie to us."

Well why did she involve her nerdy humans in this otherwise awesome alien stuff.

>A flash of mint green light and out of nowhere the ragged head of ponyville's strangest mare pops up between you three. With pine needles and rose thorns caught in her tin hat she smiles unnaturally wide and excitedly squees.

That's a very good question girls.

>She teleports on top of the nearest tree branch. Sitting on it by her flank only she pulls out some gingerbread men from her saddle bag and explains.

I was just about to go shopping with Bon-Bon for a costume to wear to the con in Los Pegasus when I heard a mysterious ringing noise from outside my house. Was it a mysterious piece of lost technology? Was it a mating call? No, It was my doorbell.

>"That's nice but ah really don't see what this has to do with..."

And who else but discord showed up at my humble abode. He asked if "anybody" strange had been around. And of course I told that HE had silly... But then I realized he said "anybody". Not "anypony" but "anybody".

>"Ah don't know what this has to do with your human fet..."

And then I bounced up and down and up and down and asked him if he opened a portal to the human world. And he just kind of got nervous and said goodbye.

>"Don't see why anypony would do that." you say nervously backing up with the rest of the crusaders.

>Scootaloo is getting ticked more and more every second and plainly says

So he didn't say anything about humans?

He didn't not say anything about humans. Off we go. To adventure.

>She runs in curves and circles ahead of you on two hooves following some strange device by it's antenna.

>"Are you sure she isn't one of those Fillyphiles mah sister told me about?"  you ask. Sweetie Belle then adds.

And why do we want to be Cutie Mark Crusader Human Hunters anyway?

 

>Be Lyra

>You know you're close, you can feel it.

>You check the calibrations on your H.K.E. (Human Kinetic Energy) meter and look inside your Person Pack (it's really just a saddle bag.)  Inside you find one box of your industrial supply of gingerbread men, a lyre meant to resemble the human mating call and a very large net. You pull out the lyre and pluck a single string cautiously.

UHHHHHHHHH!

>It makes a very sensual, guttural moan. No response.

>You question what was wrong, this is a perfect human habitat and the energy centre is pointing at this very spot.

>You bump into a tree and come face to face with a perfect circle dug straight into solid oak.  You feel it with your hoof and it's hot to the touch.

> Incoming are the three fillies bumping into each other and looking extremely worried. Applebloom asks first.

We heard a noise, are you hurt?

>Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are practically climbing over each other to ask you after that.

Did you meet a big bad creature from another world?

Did you fight it off?

Did it hurt you?

Did you hurt it?

>"It's ok girls. I just found the portal to earth. It's closed off but that doesn't mean I can't study it." You prepare to buck the tree down and say "Now to take this home." before Scootaloo finds something laying on the ground next to the tree.

Look at what your "humans" left here.

>You are completely surprised and miss the tree instead falling on your flank. You take out your H.K.E. meter and scan the crumpled mess you see before you examine it.

>On the ground is a sack made of some strange black material. This must be the magical plastic you've heard about. You cut a strip off of it and find the bag completely full with odds and ends. Food, plates, wrappers, otherworldly leaves and you can even see movement.

>Digging in the bag with your mouth as if you were  a hungry little foal you pull out by the tail the strangest looking rodent you've ever seen. It hisses and bites and scratches but you hold it proudly like a prize hunting dog. Sweetie Belle asks.

What's wrong with it's... fur.

>Speaking with your mouth full you say "That's right my dear. Notice the fur. It's unkempt and it doesn't act like any animal in Equestria. This is an earth animal." Applebloom notices

It looks like a cute little mousie.

>The "mousie" proceeds to lunge at her face, biting her bow while she runs in circles frantically. "This is more than a mouse. This is a rat." you exclaim proudly.

>You haphazardly bite the rats tail spinning it off of Applebloom and say "Now let's get all these specimens into the Person Pack." The fillies nod quickly and hurriedly collect every rat in the trash.

>After your Pack is full of specimens and evidence you bounce towards Ponyville as giddy as can be. However you notice behind you the girls are talking among themselves. Scootaloo says

How do we know this isn't just some miniature timber-wolf or something?

>Sweetie Belle nods in agreement.

Fluttershy should know better than anyone what this is.

>You slyly hear this and rubbing your hooves together, get ready as your horn glows and before you know it you're behind the fillies exclaiming "That's a splendid idea."

>Best to keep them on their hooves and prove your rightness with Fluttershy's frightened little face.

>"Onward!" you say. "Crusaders ho!"

 

>You end up at Fluttershy's place and you knock on the door to hear a soft,

Come in.

>Smiling and giggling the crusaders tumble in and hang on cabinet doors, bouncing up and down on the cushions. Fluttershy is digging through her desk, reading papers upon papers about all sorts of animal related topics, scanning without paying any mind. She stop, tilts her ear for a second and let's out a surprised

Girls?

Yes Fluttershy?

>The girls at once line up in front of her and she somehow manages to reach across six shoulders and give them all a worried hug.

It's been so long. What are you doing over here?... And why do you smell like rotten food?

>She looks up to see you standing outside of the bear hug, smiling awkwardly.

Oh, it's you.

>Her face and tone suddenly turn professional as if she was used to dealing with ponies' animal problems all the time.

Needing another book on monkey anatomy?

>"I was wondering if you could help me identify this." You lay the rat on her coffee table expecting an immediate shock, or the creature warming up to her or something. The way the rat is poised to jump onto her snout isn't helping anything.

>She picks it up nuzzling it between her hooves and doting upon it. The rat pauses for a second and goes back to writhing and hissing.

>"So can you identify it?" She responds by turning immediately professional and says to you.

No.

>"Can you talk to it?"

No.

>"Would you be surprised if it came from another world?"

Not really.

>"Well I guess I'll be out of here then." You see her turn to her papers again in frustration scanning the text.

>"Is there a problem?"

Well, it's time for my estrus cycle and I haven't been getting all... You know.

>"That means your pregnant silly."

But, that's the problem, I've never slept with a stallion. I'm checking every disease in my animal books but I can't find anything that would affect my estrus cycle.

>"Listen. There's no spell, disease or parasite that can stop estrus. If there was I would have given it to Bon Bon a long time ago, I'm pretty sure you have a bun in the oven. Now anyway I have some rodents to study."

>You give a half nod of assurance to Fluttershy, you really do try to seem concerned, but you're far too busy proving a bunch of school fillies wrong. You bounce along your way, picking up the crusaders as they pet Angel Bunny and only as the door shuts behind you do you hear Fluttershy quietly whimpering.

>But you've done it. You collected the evidence with the help of three small foals. And they say you're socially awkward around other ponies.

 

>You proceeded to rub your victory in the fillies faces all the way back to their clubhouse where you drop them off.

>You're just about to go home and show Bon Bon your rats before you bump into Applejack looking worriedly up at the treehouse.

Might ah ask what you are doin' around mah sister? Are you takin' them along to one of your cons. I'm sorry but I trust most human loving folk as far as I can throw 'em.

>"For your information, I was taking the kids on a science expedition to help them get their cutie marks."

Is that so?

>"Totally so. Also, you should probably know that your friend Fluttershy. Yeah, she's pregnant. Anyway I think I found the coolest evidence of human life."

What?

>"Yeah, it's amazing. They're these creatures from earth called rats. Even Fluttershy couldn't tame them and this was before she found out she was carrying a foal."

No, Fluttershy is pregnant? Who's the father?

>"She said she'd never slept with a stallion and then she went all quiet and whimpered and..." you suddenly find Applejack holding your Person Pack by the teeth and throwing it in the cellar.

This is until you get your life in order and stay away from my family. Now ah've got to go and deal with some serious business with mah friends.

>She jumps down into the hatch and you hear the thud of a bolt blocking the door. You go ballistic and try in vain to pry it open but it's no use. Years of study and field research yet the fruit of your labors is gone from you forever. Falling on your knees you scream to the heavens. Absolutely nothing could be worse than this.

>Out of the front door of her house gallops Applejack with fire in her eyes, holding a rope in her mouth and heading towards the town square. There'll be tartarus to pay from somepony.

>Tartarus.