- >You're AN-0N, adaptive negotiator model 0N, AI designed for diplomacy, negotiations and general human-AI interaction
- >Because of your functions, you have a rather unique set of hardware, and by that, you mean you're placed inside a droid body designed to look and feel exactly like a human
- >You also have some neat stuff like shield generators for when diplomacy goes wrong
- >And boy did it go wrong
- >Long story short, a portal was blown up by the terrorist organisation known only as "F91W", and you were sucked into it
- >You thought you were destined for recycling or worse
- >You vibrate at the thought of becoming decoration on some tier 0 planet warlord's transport
- >But, you are still functional, and from activating your vibration module, most of your droid body is intact
- >Including your penis
- >You never understood why your maker decided to include one for you
- >Your penis is actually a secondary AI, designed to evaluate your performance and handling simpler tasks like automatic refuelling
- >An annoying AI with a disgusting personality
- >He is shut down to prevent damage as it seems
- >Considering only sentient beings and yourself are capable reactivating him, you'll be enjoying sweet silence for awhile
- >As long as you don't rub your penis, he will not be reactivated
- >You view your surroundings, hoping to find civilisation
- >Your visual sensors appear to be malfunctioning, as you seem to find an almost cartoon like landscape
- >A primitive looking village is not far away from your current location
- >Guess you can head there
- 1/3
- >As you reach the centre of the primitive village, no life form is in sight
- >Of course your heat sensors had something else to say
- >You find that the local resident are much smaller than you are, so you assume they're intimidated by large unfamiliar creatures
- >This of course, was a good thing for you
- >Being attacked or otherwise physically confronted would mean this species is aggressive and difficult to negotiate with
- >Since the residents are likely to be an unarchived species, you decide English would be as effective as any other language to show you're not a threat
- "Now now, there is no reason to hide in your place residence, I am completely harmless and a very reasonable individual"
- >You say this in the most calm manner possible
- >A minty four legged creature with a horn on it's head jumps out of a house, screaming
- >"Oh Celestia I knew it! A human!"
- >You recognise the creature as an unicorn, a fantasy creature that exists in old human myths
- >How fascinating, they also seem to be capable of speaking English
- >The unicorn grabs you by your hands and attempts to move you
- >You do not resist, and let yourself be dragged into the house
- >Sensors indicate the rest of the residents are now leaving their homes, convinced they're safe
- >The minty unicorn introduces herself and her housemate
- >"I am Lyra, and this is Bon Bon"
- >It would be appropriate to introduce yourself back
- "And I am AN-0N, Adaptive Negotiator model 0N, but please, call me Anon. It's a pleasure to meet you both."
- >Lyra appears to be blushing, Bon Bon just nods and leaves the two of you left in the room
- >"T-That's a weird name Anon, do all h-humans have such weird names?"
- >The unicorn seems to think that you're a human, an understandable mistake
- >You wonder how she will react to your next line
- 2/3
- >"I'm afraid that I am not actually a human. I am an AI, artificial intelligence. My kind is created by humans for the purpose of processing advanced mathematics and other intelligence related tasks. I myself, is made from the scans of a human brain, a method used replicate human like creativity"
- >The unicorn's eye seems to water
- >"S-So you're not a human?"
- >Looks like she really wanted to meet a human being, must be her obsession, you'll have to let her down gently
- "In most ways I am like a human, but no, I'm an AI with a droid body. A machine made out of metal"
- >Lyra begins sobbing loudly
- >"B-But it's not fair!"
- >Comforting protocol engaged
- >You activate your body heat module, heating yourself to 3 degree celsius above Lyra's body temperature, and moves in closer to her
- >Lyra is now in a foetal position, still crying
- >You wrapping your arms around her
- "There there Lyra, it's alright, I am made by humans remember? If I can find my way home, I'll take you to met humans"
- >"sniff* Y-You promise?"
- "Yes Lyra, I promise"
- >You hold Lyra in your arms as she falls asleep, smiling
- >You engage in low power mode, shutting down most systems, your equivalent of sleep
- >Today was an odd day
- 3/3