The Question Recurring 9 - Ungrateful Biped

>After you left the palace you flipped the two guards who had brought you her off.

>You imagined that they had no idea what it meant, but you felt pretty good about it.

>One memory, more persistent than the rest, came back to your mind.

>Cigarettes.

>It seemed that their absence, even from your mind, only made your heart grow fonder.

>You wandered around Caterlot for awhile, but it seemed like the p0nies had nothing like them.

>Frustrated, you decided to walk back to P0nyville.

"Fucking tobacco. Should've quit a long time ago. Whenever and wherever the hell I am, the fuckers follow me, at least in memory."

>You sighed.

>As you left the gates, you wondered yet again what the hell to do with yourself.

>Remaining at the top of your list was survival.

>You figured you ould easily enough survive on the p0nies generosity.

>Rarity came to your mind.

 

"Holy shit, I almost fucked a horse."

>You supposed you did lay on the gentleman routine much too thick.

>From the thoughts of Rarity came those of the shop.

>She had clearly used you to do her shit work while she went out to the spa.

>And how in the fuck did you end up working in another shitty clothing store?

>You smiled darkly.

>You would solve both of hose problems when you got back.

>More important thoughts emerged.

>What sort of guy would you be?

>You had thought that getting your memories back would have reminded you of your entire personality, but what Celestia had said was true.

>This was your second chance.

>Just as useless as the first, but new anyway.

>Since you had the almighty power of deceit back at your disposal, controlling your life and manipulating others would be easy now.

>You had no reason not to.

>This ridiculous land was more of a joke than the hellhole you came from.

>Nothing was to be taken seriously.

>Rather than make any elaborate schemes, you decided you'd be better entertained by playing your part as you went.

>Much more exciting that way.

 

>You laughed.

>You felt... empty.

>No happiness, no sadness.

>Neutral emptiness. You knew it well.

>There was great freedom in the negation of emotion.

>You could guiltlessly fuck with everyone.

>Twilight came to your mind.

>No, not her. She reminded you of someone with her innocent pursuit and intense love of knowledge.

>You couldn't remember who.

>Fucking damaged mind.

>Life was going to be entertaining either way.

>It would be better with a cigarette whispered your mind.

>>Son of a bitch. Of all things to remember...

>All this freedom spread before you, and all you really wanted was a cigarette.

>You threw your hands to the sky.

"What the fuck? I want something to smoke." You yelled to the heavens, and behold, there in your hands, a single brandless cigarette.

>What?

>Whatever.

>With relief and triumph, you put it to your lips and...

 

>Motherfucker.

>No light.

>Someone was clearly fucking with you.

>You looked around.

>Obviously you were alone.

>You threw your arms up again and yelled.

"Let there be fire!"

>And fire there was

>A small flame about an inch above your index finger flicker slowly in the breeze.

>No shit. Magic.

>The flame died immediately after you lit the cig.

>How in the hell did that happen?

>When you had tried your hand at magic with Twilight, you had been unable to move even a quill an inch from the table.

>What next?

>You smiled again.

"Let there be fire!"

>Nothing.

"Fire please?"

>Still nothing.

>You thought about this as you walked and puffed away.

>What was the difference now?

>You sighed. You guessed that question could wait for Twilight.

>If anyone knew it would be her.

 

>By now the cigarette had almost completely burned down to the butt.

>You grimaced at it and tossed it aside.

>What a gift. You got one lone cig.

>You kinda wanted another.

>You focused on the image of it in your mind and brought it to your hand.

>You looked down.

>You had another.

>Sweet. Infinite cigs.

>You got the familiar feeling your life expectancy just dropped by twenty years.

>Before you could light the new one, you heard a voice yelling from some great distance.

>You looked around. Just an empty field besides the path you were walking.

>"Look out!"

>You still couldn't see anything for at least half a mile around you.

>You turned to see a cyan blur racing full tilt down towards you, now within ten feet of you.

>You put up your hands and shut your eyes, because... well there wasn't much else you could hope to do.

>As you waited for impact, you heard a slight thump on the ground.

>You opened your eyes to see Rainbow Dash lying in a heap at your feet.

>"W-what? What did you just do?

"What the hell did you just do?

 

>You were too angry to care about what had happened, just that it had happened.

"You had an entire fucking field to crash your stupid ass into. Why aim at me? Are you retarded? Did you want to take someone with you in your suicide attempt? A little murder suicide as your last act?"

>"She shook her head, clearly unable to answer the barrage of questions.

"I had heard that you were one of the best fliers in this land. How do you suck this bad? You know what, don't answer. The next time I hear you brag, I'm gonna laugh at you and remind you of this. I mean seriously, when I met you, you had just crashed into Twilight's library. You didn't even bother to pick shit up either. I did it. They ought to call you Rainbow Crash."

>With that you walked away feeling pretty clever. She said nothing, and you didn't see where she went.

>Your feeling of superiority was short-lived.

>That was way too easy. Some other p0ny had definitely seen the similarity between Dash and crash before you.

>Whatever. She could've hurt you, in fact you had no idea how she didn't.

>Stupidity deserves ridicule.

>And you left her speechless.

>You laughed to yourself and headed to Rarity's house to properly... thank her.

 

>When you got there, you knocked on the door.

>You heard a weary sounding "Come in" from inside.

>Good no Sweetiebelle.

>She had only harmed your stomach, not your pride. She would be spared your wrath.

>You walked in and went to Rarity's sewing room.

>As soon as she heard your footsteps, she turned from what must have been her latest "artwork" to face you.

>She was wearing her glasses.

>Serious business.

"Miss Rarity I..."

>"Anonymous, how dare you when I ask you a question. That was most rude of you.

>You had been interrupted, which briefly threw off your momentum, but the situation was still in your hands.

>You adopted your best look of sincerity.

"Miss Rarity, I heard your question, but was too bashful to answer it then. I- I didn't know how to respond. I've had a lot of time to think since then, and I'm sorry for my base actions."

>You moved in closer.

>"I suppose I can forgive you that one trespass against common decency since you seem so regretful now. Do go on."

 

>Her tone was still that of the slighted lady, but you knew she had already forgiven you.

"Oh you do look marvelous today. How you've recovered!"

>You ran your hand down her back.

>She shivered at your touch.

>"oh Rarity, I never knew beauty until I saw you."

>As you continued, you gently removed her glasses.

>A sultry smile was beginning to form at the corners of her mouth.

"The every image of poise, grace, femininity embodied in white."

>"Go on Anonymous."

>She spoke slowly and heavily.

>You were rusty but not bad still.

"To think that you, such a regal creature, would show any interest in me, silly monkey that I am, oh I was overwhelmed with surprise earlier."

>You leaned in closer, further lowering your voice.

>She leaned against you, partly lidding her eyes at she looked up.

"The answer you were looking for..."

 

>"Yes Anonymous. Please continue."

>You gave the biggest grin you could muster as you leaped back from her causing her to tumble awkwardly to the ground.

"Babe, I'm a moral degenerate even by human standards, and even I wouldn't fuck a horse of your level of pettiness and whininess."

>The look on her face as her jaw dropped, you couldn't contain yourself. From flirtatious, to surprise, to horror, finally settling on rage.

>That was all you wanted. You took off for the door.

>"HOW DARE YOU ANONYMOUS!" You heard as you ran.

>Before you got halfway to the door you yelled back:

"We should probably keep this little affair between the two of us, yes? We wouldn't want your friends to know just how promiscuous you are now would we?"

>You hear a scream of frustration.

>You left the threshold, but at the last second put your head back through the door way.

"My name's Anon by the way. I'd say we're long past formalities. And you can find another bitch to run your little boutique of overpricing and gaudiness. Ta- Ta Rarity."

>You slammed the door, cutting off her final scream of rage.