The Question Recurring 12 - Anon in Wonderland

>When you and Twilight reached Pinkie's place, the commotion inside was still going full-swing.

>As soon as you stopped and were about to knock, it stopped and the door swung open.

>"Hi again Anon. I thought I told you to come back at 8:00. And hi Twilight."

"Hey Pinkie. I would have but Twilight insisted that we come early and help you set it up."

>"Well you're too early for the party and too late to help set it up."

>She motioned for you both to enter.

>It was indeed finished.

>Very festive.

>Balloons, streamers, punch, baked goods and colors galore.

>You're mouth watered at the sight of the food.

>Since threatening the cows, meat was on you mind more than it had been, but there was quite a display.

>It all looked delicious.

>Pinkie must have noticed you eyeballing the food.

>"Not yet, silly. Not until everp0ny gets here."

>She frowned for a very brief second.

>"Not that everyp0ny's coming. Almost everp0ny said that they were too busy."

>She perked up a again.

>"But me and all my best friends will be here for you Anon.... except Rarity. She said she was still sick."

>None of the town's residents wanted to come?

>You guessed that explained the shortage of customers in Rarity's shop.

>Hell you had probably done her a favor by quitting.

>Damn.

 

>At least you didn't have to deal with her tonight. That was a relief.

"So Pinkie, how do your parties usually go? What are our plans for the night?"

>"I'm so glad you asked. We'll sing, dance, eat, drink, talk, play games..."

>You cut her off.

"Uh Pinkie, I'd have to be pretty drunk to sing or dance..."

>Her mile got even wider.

>"Oh that's the party we're going to have? Even more fun! I've got hard cider, hard lemonade, distilled cider whiskey, and even some super expensive import from Stalliongrad."

>She stopped for a moment, thinking something over.

>"Wait Anon. Just how HARD do you party?"

>She looked at you closely, and emphasized the word "hard."

>You laughed.

"I'm down with anything. You're the one who lives in the innocent world of magical talking p0nies. How hard do YOU party?"

>She dropped her grin and her voice and leaned towards you.

>"Harder than anyp0ny you've ever met."

>Twilight had been watching this exchange, becoming increasingly worried.

>"Anon, Pinkie, you both aren't going to do anything stupid or irresponsible, are you?"

 

>Pinkie jumped back and regained her ever-present, excited smile.

>"Of course not Twilight. We're here to have fun, and welcome and get to know Anon."

>She winked at you with the eye facing away from Twilight.

>Clearly your impression of Pinkie had been, well not wrong, but maybe a little on the negative side.

>She was clearly insane, but she seemed to have a strong enough grasp on reality to really enjoy it.

>You could admire that.

>This was going to be an entertaining night.

>You weren't a lightweight, but you had generally stayed away from alcohol back home.

>You had some bad memories involving it...

>No this was going to be a fun night.

>A joke of a night to add to the endless joke of your life.

>Pinkie would make sure of that.

>She seemed to understand that nothing is to be taken seriously.

>Except for when you met her... Nah everyone had their weak moments.

>When Pinkie left to go get the drinks, Twilight broke the silence.

>"Anon, please promise me I won't have to see you get too wasted tonight. Pinkie can take things too far sometimes, especially challenges."

>"See me get wasted", huh? The wording left you some leeway.

"You have my word, Twilight."

>She looked relieved.

>"Remember, let the p0nies get to know you as well as I have. I'm sure they'll think as highly of you."

>You could be charming, but you'd play it by ear tonight.

 

>The door opened and shut behind you.

>You turned to see Fluttershy meekly looking at you and Twilight.

>She hadn't said much at all when you had first met her.

"Hi there Fluttershy. Remember me?"

>"Um, yes." It was spoken in a hushed mumble.

>Twilight waved to Fluttershy and left to go help Pinkie, leaving you alone with the yellow pegasus.

>Oh well.

>Lapses in conversation were only awkward silences when you took them as being awkward, and allowed them to remain silent.

>You settled on asking her about her animals.

>Everyone likes to talk about what they're interested in.

"So Fluttershy, what kinds of animals do you have?"

>She perked up and actually looked you in the eyes.

>"Oh I personally know lots of animals. Some live with me in my house, like a rabbit, a nice family of mice, and quite a few birds. There also lot's of animals who live around my house too. There are ducks, turtles, some deer that come and go, chickens..."

>At the mention of chickens, you lost your focus and began to formulate a scheme, but you decided now was not the time so you put it on the back burner of your mind.

>You continued listening as she smiled happily.

>"Since I live right next to the forest, many of the animals come to me when they need somewhere to stay or something to eat. I even provide medical care to all of the poor little, and big, animals who need it."

>You made a mental note of that as well.

 

"Sounds like you must be pretty busy."

>"Oh I really am very busy. That's why I left so quickly when I first met you. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm sorry."

>Her genuine look of sorrow managed to move even you.

"That's okay. I had just assumed you were afraid of me."

>"I am... or I was. I'm not now. I thought about it, and your intelligence makes you no less of a poor little animal that needed help. I didn't mean you're a poor animal. I hope that doesn't offend you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Intelligence or not, we're all animals. You were nice to me and I thank you."

>It was almost a shame that you couldn't bring yourself to make any snide remarks.

>The door behind you flew open, and you turned to see Rainbow Dash and Applejack enter, apparently having a heated argument about something.

>Rainbow Dash walked past you without even looking at you, while Applejack gave you an acknowledging nod.

>Pinkie Pie walked into the room followed closely by Twilight.

>She was pushing what appeared to be a bar on wheels.

>"Whoever can drink more wins." Rainbow Dash said conclusively to Applejack.

>"Yer on missy."

>Applejack turned to you.

>"Ah'm awful sorry Anon. Ah know this is yer party, but I gotta teach this mare a less'n in humility she won' soon forgit."

"By all means."

>They both went for the whiskey, each taking a bottle and seating themselves at the bar.

>You looked over the cart and opted for the import.

>Vodka had always had the tendency to reappear later in the night for you, but you doubted that the alcohol content was very high.

 

>You sat down across from Pinkie, between Fluttershy and Twilight.

> You poured everyone a shot.

>Fluttershy protested at first, but due to Pinkie insistence, she drank it anyway.

>You drank it quickly then poured everyone else a shot to get the party started.

>Pinkie, as lively as ever, steered the conversation to everyone's favorite foods.

>You held your tongue as to what your's was, instead stuffing your face with cake.

>Pinkie tried her best to question you, but you were far too busy going to town on the feast in front of you to give any more than nods and grunts.

>So much for the p0nies getting to know you.

>You looked to the drink cart.

>The two mares there were going strong on the second bottle of whiskey.

>That is if you call slurred boasts and constant teetering back and forth, "going strong."

>After only three shots, Fluttershy's head hit the table.

>Small p0nies, little tolerance?

>Twilight tried her best to keep up with you and pinkie, but after 5 shots she was out.

>Her head was resting peacefully, if sloppily, in your lap.

>Pinkie Pie seemed completely unaffected, continuing to rattle off about her favorite things and whatever random shit she could think of.

>"Alright Anon. Now that everyp0ny's out, are you ready to really party?"

 

>She gestured to the slumped over forms of Applejack and Rainbow Dash; the two had apparently come to a stalemate of drunkenness.

"I'm down."

>"Okie dokie Lokie, but soon enough we're gonna be all around!"

>She raced back though the doors to the back of the bakery.

>You were a little tipsy, but the vodka had proved to be fairly watered down.

>You absentmindedly patted Twilight's head. She made an arguably cute whinnying sound.

>You weren't an idiot. She was clearly pretty fond of you.

>However, you had no intention of being any more liberal with her than you had been with Rarity.

>If she cared about you that much though, then she could be trusted.

>Not Celestia though. There was something off about her.

>And Luna... you had sensed sincerity, but she was too esoteric to say the least.

>The two Princesses had known more than they had told you. Of that you were sure.

>And at least now you knew Pinkie Pie could be trusted, if only for a good time.

>She returned, as if on cue.

>She held out a platter.

>On it were two piles of colorful mushrooms, and a little hand-scrawled sign that said "Eat Me."

"So I take it we're gonna trip balls than? It's been awhile, but I'm still down."

>She thought for a moment.

>"Not if you keep them in you pants silly."

>She raised the platter to her mouth, shoveled the smaller pile in and gulped them down.

>"They don't taste nearly as good as cupcakes, but they sure are shroomy!"

>You grabbed your handful and put them in your mouth, chewing slowly.

 

"Yeah, shroomy as hell. So are we just gonna chill here or what?"

>She giggled.

>"Of course not. We have some p0ies to bring home. It'll be an adventure. I got us some outfits for the train."

>Train?

>She handed you a pair of faded overalls and a conductor's cap.

>How the hell did she get you clothing in your size?

>You're thoughts were starting to slip about in your mind and you felt a familiar alien feeling replacing them.

>"I'll go get our ride. Get dressed and grab a couple p0nies. Let the night begin!"

>She ran out the front door, already dressed in an outfit matching your's.

>You sighed.

>It would probably be best just to roll with the situation.