- >Day random appearences in Equestria.
- >You are Anonymous.
- >It's been about half a year since you were stranded in this strange world
- >You begin your day with the sacred S triumvirate.
- >When you're done you head downstairs, and begin breakfast.
- >You were just getting done with your eggs and cinnamon toast wh-
- >*knock knock knock*
- >Well, at least you got most of it down the hatch bef-
- >*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK FUCKIN' KNOCKITY!!!*
- “Goddammit, Fluttershy!! At least let me finish my inner fucking monologue!!”
- > “O-Oh...Ok...!”
- >You put the platter into the sink, and open the door.
- “What...?”
- >She looks at you and you look at her.
- >She slowly takes out a mini-stache and puts on a shitty rendition of the German Nazi Uniform.
- >Seriously yo, shit's lookin' like her mom bought it from good will during a Halloween sale.
- >Or Nightmare Night sale.
- >Whatever.
- >The point is, it sucks.
- >You look at her in disbelief.
- “Are you fuckin' kidding me?
- > “S-So...oppressive maniacal Dictators aren't your fetish Anon?”
- >You flex your body muscles and your shirt rips off into shreds of fabric.
- >Underneath it you have a gigantic Star of David tat across your chest.
- >It covers well over half of your upper torso.
- “FUCKING NO!!”
- >You grab as much of her hair as you can, swing her around, and throw her into the air.
- >As you watch go careening into Twilight's Treebrary, a good ways away you shout
- “If you've got time to figure out who that guy was, then start tryin' to figure out how to get me home!!”
- >Suddenly a giant worm hole opens up in the middle of Ponyville.
- >Allmywat.jpeg
- >It spits out...whoa...
- >Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- >No fuckin' way!
- >“EYYY, I AM BEING IN LAND OF BRIGHT COLORED HORSES AGAIN!”
- >With great effort a fat, sweaty, and infinitely drunk Russian climbs to his feet.
- >He downs a half of a 2 liter of vodka.
- >Sweet merciful pony christ, help us all...
- >While you are frozen in abstract fear, he has finished the 2 liter and is now in search of more alchohalic beverage.
- >“WHERE IS VODKA BEING?”
- >You watch as he pulls some Kool-Aid man type shit and bursts through a wall.
- >He throws the residents through their own house all the while shouting
- >“YOU BE HIDING VODKA FROM STRELNIKOV!?”
- >You rush back into your house and upstairs.
- >In your room you have a box under your bed.
- >It says “In case of depression”.
- >Inside you find a bottle of whiskey and a hand gun.
- >You grab the whiskey.
- >AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT!
- >You track the beast through Ponyville via the demolished homes and the crying mares with semen in their hair.
- >You don't mean just the mane either.
- >This guy makes Genghis Khan look gentlemanly...
- >You find him at Berry Punch's house.
- >He's just standing there wheezing angrily.
- >Staring.
- >You check what's up.
- >There're shit loads of birds on Berry Punch's windowsill.
- >The Russian finally speaks.
- >“HERE...STRELNIKOV SMELL VODKA...BUT CANNOT ENTER...”
- “Umm...W-Why not?
- >“WHAT, ARE YOU FOOL? LOOK AT BIRDS, SMALL MAN! IS MARKED WITH DEATH!
- >Oh, yeah.
- >Russian superstitions.
- >You decide to bring something to his attention.
- Dude...You broke about 20 mirrors on that rampage.
- >This sends him into some sort of hyperventilation fit.
- >You give him the whiskey and he shuts up.
- >Starts drinking it like a baby bottle while in the fetal position.
- >Fucking Strelnikov.
- LeFin
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Strelnikov Appears
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