shorts - 11-5-13

just as a foreword, this is a compilation of very short pastes i make, things that are to short for a separate paste, and don't have further story potential. ill try to keep a number system, and a short tital, for easy finding. on a last note, if anyone wants to post snipits of this paste, i only request you put the paste bin address into the paste.

 

-edit 10-12-12

 

i just re read some of these... now i wrote most of these while tired and not in the best of condition, and also in 4chan threads, so much of the gramar and spelling is shit, along with pacing so i decided that i will need to re edit some of these...

 

i WILL NOT delete anything here that is already done, however i will ammend them at the end with a corrected version.

 

-example-

 

[1]

>words, things, stuf

>words

dialouge

>words

>fucking END

 

[1*]

>things, words, stuff

>some more words

little bit of dialogue

>a few more words

>the mother fucking END

 

-end-

 

what im trying to say is that anything with significant rewrites will not be jsut re writin outright and the original forgotten to the sands of time, but i will write a better version retooling the origional and have it posted below it.

 

when i do this, i will make it known when i rewrote it too...

 

and sorry that i am such a fuck up that i needed to even write this bit of information.

 

-------------------------------------

 

[1] Celestias magnifying glass.

[2] Anons new job (possible continuations)

[3] Grand Galloping Gala hangover

[4] How Will Pinkie React

[5] Scootaloo Love Twist

[6] Young Anon With Twilight

[7] A Game of Lies

-------------------------------------

 

[1]

 

>right now, you are setting up for the day

>a small film of water, suspended my magic, about 1000 feet up and about 20 yards in diameter that will dissipate before it even hits the ground.

>the magic should last just long enough for the desired effect

>so you descend to the ground.

>stage 2 of the master plan, make sure his curtains are open

>for as long as he lived here, you would think he would have coverd it up in some way shape or form that was more... permanent...

>as you make sure they are open, you see an empty applejack daniels

>the its hard holding back that urge to giggle at what you are doing

>stage 3, its time to raise the sun.

>and you do so with the pleasure that your prank once again, will be pulled off flawlessly, with anon none the wiser

>with 2 minutes till the sun is in position you go to watch it in action

>first the light hits the water, refracts, and is slightly more concentrated than before

>less burny, more bright and hot

>and its all going straight into anons window

>you can hear it from here anon is bitching out the sun, you brought luna once

>because anon was yelling "i would rather wake up to either god damn moon luna has than this every fucking day" luna is to embarrassed to directly see anon...

>anon, hung over, head pounding, and you are making it worse...

>guilt level

>0

>he deserves it

>no one calls you sunbutt

 

---------------------------------------------

 

[2]

 

>day fuck my life

>its been 4 months sense you landed in pastel hell

>in your world, you may have been useless but you had a job, not good, but job none the less

>this world...

>cant do manual labor due to hands

>cant do intricate work because magic is cheaper

>cant do most trades, not because of lack of skill, you could learn, but because its not your talent

>twilight has been kind, or under princesses orders, you dont know which, and has let you live with her while you are here

>you feel like shit

>you are mooching their kindness and you know it

>you are trying, but still

>anyway, you are in the library, after another day of failed job finding and decided to read...

>not much is left, you cant do magic to your knowledge so that was a topic you avoided...

>no reason making yourself suicidal over it

>but you are running out of books...

>so you pick up a biology book

>why not, you are done with literally every other book in the library... the fuck font do they use 30ish unless its a magic book, than its god damn 5

>anyway, reading the book something peaks your interest...

TWILIGHT, CAN YOU COME UP HERE AND CONFIRM SOMETHING

>"erhhh... fine"

>up from the basement...

>...

nightmare night was a few days ago... still wearing the mad scientist costume?

>looking at herself, than looking at you, red and mad... what would tat emotion be called

>"whatever, what did you want me for"

>and you shove the book in her face

>she reads it a bit, and than gets VERY red

>"wha... what did you want to know"

those numbers accurate?

>pissed look again... what fun

not of you, in general

>getting less pissed

>"yes, they are"

>you smile, twilight is confused

i think i may have found a job

 

--------------------------------------------

 

[3]

 

>be grand galloping gala

>you, rainbow, and applejack are having a drinking contest next to celestia

>pinkie is playing the referee

>twilight, for all her bitching, agreed to help once celestia thought it would be a great way to break up the tedium that is the greeting.

>you take a shot on red ponies, rainbow on blue, and applejack on green

>twilight decides what color they are, and if its in between 2 colors, more than one player takes a shot

>if a pony is to white its a draw, and if a pony is black all 3 take a shot

>shots start off weak but the more you take the stronger they get

>twilight saw to it that everyone gets drunk at the same rate

>first to 20 wins

>you had walled off the oncoming ponies so no one by you, even celestia, knew who would win first

>and only 1 guest could come in per minute

>it broke up the tedium of constant "hello and welcome" and allwed celestia to actually talk and spend time with her friends and student without seaming like a shitty person

>game starts out slow

>lots of white ponies

>ooo a red one

>pinkie is excited...

>the longer this game goes on, the less annoyed twilight is by participateing in this event

>she seamed relativly excited

> 10 you 11 apple 9 dash in that order

>celestia recants her first drinking game experiance...

>twilights jaw is on the floor

so thats where that nick name came from

>everyone is looking at you

>an almost akward moment is broken by pinkie laughing

>ooo 11 for you now

>and the night is going on, more snobs, more shots, more stories from celestia

>19 16 18

>tipsy as fuck, a pink pony comes in...

>you all look to twilight

>she judges dark enough

>you win, and are plastered

 

>you can stand, but fuck if you can walk a straight line...

>celestia offers you a room to sleep it off in, but you have other plans

>applejack... well... she takes her up on the offer, but dash... she knows you will probably do something stupid, and wants to see the fireworks

>at the bottom of the stairs, you whisper something to pinkie, who gets an over enthusiastic grin

>yea... it didn't take long for your stupid idea to come through

 

>you are now twilight

>though you were against the idea of a drinking contest at the gala, you have to say it turned out to be more fun than you thought

>a game of chance that anon won

>you heard... many stories that you are not sure you want to know, and feel sorry and jealous for luna at the same time

>and than you hear it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU

>you know its music from anons world, he played it for you once...

>he also... told... you

*gasps*

*whistles*

>you are about to tell celestia but she is already making her way to the music

 

>you are celestia

>the crowd parts

>you are about to open the door when you hear it,

>loud gasps and cloping (pony clapping not fapping)

>you gulp

>you open the door

>and you are stunned...

>partially because anon apparently did a stripshow

>partially because pinkie is still playing the song whith this going on next to her

>but mostly because anon, while drunk, is getting his dick to swing around in a perfect circle...

>around and around

>right round baby like a record baby right round round round

>...

 

>be anon

>wicked hangover

>you turn left, hoping to cover yourself from light better, but you hit something

>open eyes... celestia...

>...

>it hits you, dead or alive...

 

------------------------------------------

 

[4]

 

>day "i wonder how pinkie will react to this" in equestria

>for a while now you have been watching the mare, wondering what made her tick...

>you also noticed that thing that normally happen to you, either come out exaggerated, or completely fucking different with her.

>so you learned how to make a quick dissolving gel cap that only dissolved with stomach acid.

>half soda, half poprocks...

>you get derpy to write "eat all these as fast as you can pinkie" on some paper, because she will forget she wrote it and who asked her to after a few minutes.

>and now its the waiting game.

>you entered the bakery at the ass crack of dawn, and put them on the counter with the note... pinkie wakes up first and will notice it right away.

>you wait, and you wait some more...

>finally she pronks down the stairs and sees the pills and note...

>not even a second thought... good god these ponies are trusting.

>wait for it...

>wait for it...

*BELCH*

>...

>andticlimatic...

>and than she kind of propells forward a bit...

*BELCH*

*PBTTTTTTTTTT*

>is she farting too....

>and there it is, the glitter... and confetti...

>she is at this moment farting glitter and belching confetti....

>and she fell on her side, continueing making the noises, the mess, but now she is spinning, the belching making her spin while the fart makes her go forward,

>tables are tipped

>chairs are broken

>a confetti and glitter storm is brewing in there,

>you swear that for a moment she turned into a tornado

>for 45 seconds this goes on

>slack jawed awe is all you can muster

>and it is over...

>pinkie having no fucking clue what just happened, and you sure as hell arent sticking around to clean that mess, so you book it

 

------------------------------------------

 

[5]

 

>day fuck with dash in equestria

>"anon... are you a big enough bastard to do this..."

yes... yes i am...

>you sure?

brain, look at my hands,

>brain uses eyes... hands are empty

>brain made eyes go wide

>"what did YOU DO THAT FOR"

because brain, i am board, and you know what they say about idle hands... and masturbating all the time only kills at most 2 hours.

>"you better know what you are doing"

so i ever?

 

>be next day

>you are watching dash from the bushes

>you made sure that note was very specific

>hell you made it out of news paper clippings

>dash, sleeping in the tree, has no fucking clue the hell you brought her

>brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb

>hello scoots, now say what you need to say

>"RAINBOW DASH, WHERE ARE YOU"

>hehe she knows right were she is, and she is playing the part perfectly.

>and dash isn't moving...

>"I KNOW YOUR SECRET SO IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO YELL IT, GET DOWN HERE NOW"

>and that got her attention.

>and they are quite now... but no worry... you came prepared.

>and like stated, scoot isnt budgeing

>"so squirt... what do you thing it is"

> nervousness on her face, you can almost taste it.

>"not much... only that you love to eat... muffins..."

>well damn, she can pull off bedroom eyes even at her age...

>and dash, is shitting a metaphorical brick right now...

>that face looks like she just killed a pet of fluttershys on purpose only that she got caught and is not catching shit from her

>dash having no fucking answer for this, just looking horrified... well... that kind of is an answer in a way.

>and just as dash is about to talk...

>scoots pulls out a very big muffin from pinkie space

>dash, for looks like she is in heaven now that... and a bit shocked her perverted mind let her go there...

>the muffin so big... still have no idea how that worked, but whatever... that dash could make 3 meals out of it.

>and she is eating it...

>the glutton...

>"how is it?"

>NOM NOM NOM "is... great... NOM NOM... perfect"

>she smiles wide...

>almost wider than her face can support

>it was good having her go to derpy to learn the muffin ways.

>but she has another line to deliver

>"you should save some room for desert dash..."

>wow... bedroom eyes again... damn is she good at that shit...

>dash for her part, doesn't even think of something bad this time...

>well... at least untill

>"what else ya got scoots"

>that devious smile

>those eyes

>those words

>"my warm, moist, glazed cupcake"

>dash, slowly turn her head, shocked at the words

>slowly getting an eyeful of fillyhood, being presented

>wow... she managed not to choke completely there... got to give her some points for that.

>scoots smiles warmly, getting up, and swishing her tail, as seductively as she can

>showing the goods to dash every step,

>every wave of her tail

>"come find me when you are done with my muffin"

>brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr

>and she is off

>dash, not haveing any clue as to what to do... slowly takes the muffin to her home.

 

>later that night

>you and dash are drinking

>you know why she is, but she wont let on

>way to drunk to fly home for her

>you bring her to yours... your cool like that

>she gets couch though

>you may be cool, but fuck that shit she ant getting bed

 

>be later still

>you wake up

>you hear moaning

>you hear your name... the usual

>you hear scoots name too...

>well shit...

 

-----------------------------------------

 

[6]

 

"twilight... TWILIGHT"

>"WHAT" she yells, a bit annoyed, as you are constantly calling her name and asking for help

>she comes down the stairs, taking her time, and looks at you

>in all your nude glory

>"WHAT THE HELL ANON"

"my penis is hard... oh GOD WHY, MY PENIS IS HARD..."

>you are cut off, apparently she didn't like you yelling your penis is hard.

>"quiet..." she looks away "what do you want me to do about it?"

"why is it hard"

>she is taken aback, you know damn well why its hard but you want to see where this goes

>"well... um... ah... well..." flustered, she breaths deeply, and asks you a question "what were you thinking of when it got... stiff?"

>dead kittens... nah, that would be a dead giveaway, watching spike and rarity hold each other in a wrestling match, that rarity won by pinning spike over and over again... could be interesting... but nah...

>you decide to see if you can get anywhere with little miss 'i'm so awkward it took a royal decree for me to make friends'

"well, i was thinking of your big purple eyes..."

>and here we see a majestic camelion unicorn, the rarest kind, able to color swap between normal to red in an instant

>"well... i... yea... whooo, is it hot in here"

"just imagining you laying down, reading a book out loud... oh god am i cursed!"

>hinted you are interested in her

>complemented natural beauty

>mad props to her voice and body

>"ill be right back, i think i need to open a window"

>off she goes

>you look to where she was standing...

>a drop of something is there

>drool, juice, you dont know, but its only a good sign

>you are anonymous

>you were put in twilights care

>you are 14 years old

>and you are having fun with this arrangement

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

[7]

 

>you and the girls are having a picnic

>one thing lead to another and a game of "make up the most believable rumor" started

>you feel kind of bad for the ponies

>they have clear tells

>you know damn well when one of the rumors is true

>applejack hurt her leg a while ago, so you came up with "carved adult toys out of apples, and got an infection and couldn't buck for a week"

>sure you covered it with the standard, of course its not true, only because you saw her tell, it was...

>but now... now its your turn again

"well can you believe twilight has a fully stocked sex dungeon?"

>this causes the poor mare to spit her water all over fluttershy, the two who were abstaining from the game

>flutters squeaks

>before she can say a word, rainbow chimes in "are you confusing twilight for rarity again?"

>rarity looks upset, but you saw this coming

"RAINBOW THATS RUDE..." you say, raising your voice a bit, she shrinks, only for you to lower it "she calls it a bordello, that is TOTALLY different"

>rainbow gets the joke, but not as quick as applejack who really sucks, but being competitive with dash, just had to join

>"well ah heard you were into stallions"

>ah the old i heard you were gay line... you have heard it a lot, and you know just how to counter

you get up close, put your finger on her lower lip "i love all kinds, sugarcube"

>and stunned silence is all you get

>you have no tells

>in a game of lying, the best way to throw people off is to tell the truth, not that they will ever know

>eyes wide, face flushed, recoiling from the touch, "ah... ah need to get back to the farm"

as she runs away you ask "did i go to far?"

>a mix of laughter and facehooveing is had

>today was average.