Title:           Boner Police Ep. 03: Rage/Boner Patrol/Dragon Slayer Deluxe
Author:          _Leaf_
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/peUz3HBr
First Edit:      Monday 1st of July 2013 08:23:14 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 1st of July 2013 08:23:14 PM CDT

>Day rage in Equestria.
>You wake up to the sound of breaking glass somewhere in your house.
>Run downstairs freaking out.
>Cherry Berry is in your kitchen with her flight goggles on, smashing all of your shit.
"Cherry! What the FUCK are you doing?!"
>She picks up your table and flips it.
>"I'M ANGRY!"
>You run over and tear the cookie jar from her hooves.
"HOLD ON! QUIT BREAKING MY SHIT!"
>She sits down with a sigh and glares at you.
"Why are you angry? Why are you in my house? Why me?"
>She flares her nostrils, "these three ponies just stole my air balloon saying they were seizing it for Boner Police activities! Now. I'm. ANGRY!"
>Your best china is flung at the wall.
"Calm down! Do you want me to help you?"
>She seethes, "take me out to lunch!"
"What? Don't you want to get your balloon back?"
>Cherry stomps her hooves and whines, "I'M HUNGRY AND I'M AAAAAAANGRYYYYYYYY!"
>Fuck this shit.
"Fine! Fine! We can go out for lunch. Do you want to go to Sugar Cube Corner?"
>She sits back down and puffs her cheeks, "no. Pinkie Pie is a bitch."
>She's definitely not.
"Alright Cherry, then where do you WANT to go?"
>She screams and kicks the shit out of your stove.
>It explodes, sending you both flying out of a window.
>Cherry Berry lands on your chest.
>"I'm so ANGRY! I'm HUNGRY! Anon, your house sucks!"
>Your house is gone.
>She blew it up.
>You pick her up, set her down and walk toward town.
>"Anon where are you going?!"
>You flip her off over your shoulder.
"Please just go Cherry Berry."
 
 
+++BONER POLICE+++
 
 
>Chillin' in your pad.
>Blinds closed, candles lit.
>You're masturbating to a picture of Trixie's ass.
>Feels good brah.
>There's a strange sound outside.
>Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>A car smashes through your wall.
"FUUUUUCK!"
>It's an actual police car with a dick spray painted on the hood and dick-shaped sirens.
>Rainbow Dash leans out of the passenger window, "BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW! BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW!"
>Lyra hops out of the driver seat and points her gun at you, "get on the ground with your dick out scumbag!"
>You throw some dry wall off of you and jump up.
"I just got my house fixed after Cherry Berry blew it up you faggots! Where did you get a fucking car?!"
>Fluttershy pops out of the sunroof and points a massive gun at you.
>"S-suspect sighted. F-fire!"
>A net shoots out and captures you.
>The three ponies tie you to the back of the car and speed out of your house.
>You are dragged all over Ponyville for an hour.
>Rainbow Dash hangs out of the window laughing, "BONER PATROL, BONER PATROL! BWEEW WEEW!"
>They take you back to Boner Chief Fluttershy's cottage, battered and bloody.
>You are charged with failure to boner and sentenced to be raped overnight.
>This is what Ponyville's taxes pay for.
 
 
+++BONER PATROL+++
 
 
>Day hate crime in Celestia's white nation.
>You are strolling down the street minding your own business.
>Golden Harvest stops you at her vegetable stand and gives you some free potatoes.
>Being of great Irish upbringing, you raise the roof and thank her kindly.
>Today is gonna be a good day.
>Something wet and heavy slaps across the back of your neck.
>You fall and roll.
>Behind you stands Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Lyra, in uniform.
>They all are holding big limp-
"Are those dildos?!"
>Fluttershy swings her big floppy red dick around, "th-they're our new batons, the Dragon Slayer Deluxe."
>Wait a minute...
"Why are they all slimey? Are those ACTUAL dragon dicks?"
>Rainbow Dash strokes her fake mustache, "had to order them from a special dealer in the Fillypeans."
>Lyra raises her purple dragon shlong above her head, "enough talk! Let's dick this handsome thief down!"
>The three surround you and begin wailing on you with their dicks.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"
>Rainbow Dash is trying to stick her baton in your mouth.
>"We saw you steal those potatoes sexy man!"
>Fluttershy is trying to jam her baton through your pants, "n-no injustice escapes the B-Boner Police!"
>You're blacking out from Lyra beating in your head with a dragon dick.
"I'M NOT RODNEY KING! I'M NOT RODNEY KING!"
>Ponies all stare, none brave enough to help.
>Rainbow Dash gets on her radio, "we need backup in the market! Suspect resisting dicks!"
>Golden Harvest runs over with a spiked dragon dick.
>She starts to slap your legs with it.
"What are you doing?! You gave me the potatoes!"
>They drag your pants down and hold you while Golden Harvest positions the spiked horror for penetration.
>"This was a sting operapetion motherbucker!"
>Today sucked.