Southern Anon in Equestria 3 - Southern Hospitality

>The two of you sat and spoke a bit more after your introductions

>Between the two of you, you've both come to the conclusion that you probably weren't anywhere near your homeworld

>and that you came here when you slept next to one tree and awoke next to another

>At your mention of the wolves and your harrowing experience with them, she informs you that they're known as timber-wolves.

>She also informs you that they're easily frightened by loud noises

>Good to know for future reference

>She let's you know that you're apparently very lucky

>Not just because you managed to get away from the timber-wolves

>But because the apples you found are ripe, great for making jam, and would have just flat out disappeared if they weren't picked that day

"Now how would they just up and disappear? What are they, magic?"

>"Well yes, actually."

>Did she really just give you the 'magic' answer?

>I think she did, brain

"Beg pardon, but where ah'm from, there ain't no such thing as magic. There's gotta be a reasonable explanation."

>"You don't have magic where you're from?"

>That seemed to surprise her

>Was she actually serious about that 'magic' answer?

>Is magic real here?

 

"What, ya'll actually DO have magic here? Not sayin' Ah don't believe it, ever'thin' round here is sorta new and weird to me. Ah'm just sayin' ah ain't seen you castin' any spells, ma'am."

>"Oh, that's because I'm not a unicorn, I'm a pegasus. Pegasi and earth ponies don't have magic."

>You let the new information sink in a moment

>This place is nucking futs

"So only the unicorns get magic. Okie doke."

>"Well no, there are also alicorns."

"Alicorns? Okay, ah know somewhat what a pegasus and a unicorn are, purely 'cause they're mythological creatures where ah'm from, and ah'm guessin' an earth pony is just a normal pony without wings or magic. But ah've never heard of an alicorn before. What's an alicorn?"

>"An alicorn is a pony that has both wings and a horn. they can fly AND use magic. They're also usually much bigger than the other ponies. Princess Celestia is an alicorn, actually."

"Princess? Okay, so ya'll have a monarchy. Who're the King and Queen then?"

>"Oh, we don't have those. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna rule together."

"...Mah head hurts."

 

>"Oh, umm, is it that bump? I could get you an ice pack if you wanted."

"Nah, it ain't the bump. This is just an awful lot to take in. this is a new place, with apparently new rules for how things are. It's gonna take some gettin' used to, ah'm sure."

>The both of you continue for a short while longer, until you both let out a longwinded yawn

>"Anon, you can stay here until your wounds are healed. It'll be... nice to have some company."

"Well thank ya, Miss Fluttershy. That's mighty hospitable of ya. Iff'n ya need me for anythin' while ah'm here, don't hesitate to ask. Ah'm still a might sore from that mess with the, uh, 'timber-wolves' as ya called 'em, but ah've dealt with worse before. Besides, ah was raised to pay back kindness in kind. It's a good way to make friends, and a better way to keep 'em."

>You and Fluttershy say your goodnights, and she slowly ascends the stair back to her bed.

>You take the blanket that was covering you earlier, and situation it over you on the sofa.

>your legs are a bit longer than the sofa, but you still find it oddly comfortable.

>You slowly drift into slumber.

 

>You're awakened the next morning with a sharp jolt, as a small, hard object makes contact with the top of your head

"GOD DAMMIT, WHAT IN THE NAME O' HELL-"

>You place your left hand gingerly where whatever it was hit you, wincing in pain.

>You look down to see a part eaten carrot

>You hear a rapid thumping

>You look up to see a small white rabbit, it's forelegs crossed like arms, tapping it's foot, and giving you a perturbed look

>You grab the carrot with your right hand and point at it with your left, anger readily presenting itself on your face

"This yours?"

>The rabbit continues its condescending stare, and gives a single nod.

>You nab that little bastard by the ears faster than it can think and pick it up, holding it at eye level, flailing and kicking to get away

"Lemme give ya one warnin', ya lil' shit."

>You give your best cheshire grin to show him your teeth, making note of your canines

>The rabbit's look goes quickly from one of anger to one of absolute terror

"You give me any other problems in mah short stay here, and ah'll be fixin' some rabbit stew, and using your precious carrots as garnish fer tha dish. We have an understandin', Roger?"

>It gulps noticeably, and then slowly shakes its head 'yes'

>You put the rabbit down, and keep your eyes locked on it

>You speak curtly

"Good. Now what ya'll want?"

 

>The rabbit points into the kitchen

>On the table is a note and some sandwiches

>You've not eaten a couple of days still, so food is still priority one

>You grab 4 of the sandwiches and inspect them

>Peanut butter and a rainbow colored Jam

>You take a bite and-

"Dear sweet mother o' mercy..."

>Those four sandwiches didn't know what had hit them

>You begin reading the note as you're finishing off the last one

>The note essentially boils down to a few things

>Fluttershy took the 'Zap Apples' you found to a friend of hers named Applejack to see if anything could be done with them

>This 'Applejack' made about 3 jars of jam, and asked where fluttershy got the apples

>Fluttershy told her about you

>When Applejack pressed further, she mentioned you being an omnivore and finding you near the Everfree Forest

>That apparently set Applejack on edge

>She was calmed by telling her you refuse to eat ponies, and are somewhat injured

"Hmm, that's good. Ah don't need no crazy ponies comin' after me like ah was the Frankenstein monster."

 

>she came home and made these PB&J sandwiches specifically for you with the jam she received

>She made a bunch of them because she didn't know how much humans eat

>You make a note to thank this Applejack if you ever meet her

>That Zap Apple Jam is god damned delicious

>Seriously, you could die a happy man after eating that shit

>the note she left asks you to put whatever is left away

>It mentions in the letter that there's a tub outside you can use to wash yourself, with a pump for water

>She'd let you use her own shower indoors, but she doesn't believe you'd fit in it

"Can't says ah can argue with that point, these ponies are TINY."

>The note also says that she's left back into town to meet with ANOTHER friend of hers, this one by the name of Rarity

>They apparently do this spa thing every week, but her running around on your behalf put her behind a bit.

>She also asks that you feed her chickens while she's away, noting that the feed is in a container next to their coop.

"This girl is bein' so nice to me. Ah gotta find a way to pay 'er back. Guess Ah'll just get started."

 

>You start whistling a tune, forever in your head, since early childhood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jQRGLoiiek

>You put the leftover sandwiches in the fridge and clean up the small mess you've made

>You head out the front door of Fluttershy's home and step out, grabbing your brown work boots, and take a quick look around

>To your right is the washtub you could use to clean yourself with, along with some soap, shampoo, a towel, a washrag, and a long handled wash brush.

>To your left is the the line she'd used to hang out your clothes

>You take a quick feel of them to be sure they're dry, and take down some basic clothes

>Blue jeans, green t-shirt, socks, boxers

>You take the clothes and stack them on the grass on top of your boots near the tub

>You pump water into the tub, and reach in to feel how cold it is

>It's actually relaxingly warm

>Only two things can explain this

>Either there's a hotspring nearby

>or it's magic

>Fuck it, not the time for this

>You take off your current pair of boxers

>You hop into the tub and wash yourself, head first and working your way down

 

>Congratulations, the water has almost turned black

>you drain that shit and start again, less emphasis on 'cleaning' this time, and more on relaxing sore muscles.

>You sit and think for a short while, letting the warm water work out your kinks

>First, there's clearly more of these pony things around somewhere.

>you're none too sure how they'd react if they saw you, given Fluttershy didn't know what you are.

>second, you're still contemplating the whole 'Magic' conundrum that has arisen

>just basic things, like how does it work, or could it be learned

>It's still not logical

>I know that brain, but what if it's true?

>Third, and most importantly

>How the hell did a pony write a letter?

>'Mag-

>SHUT IT, BRAIN!

>You stand up and grab the nearby towel, pull the plug on the bath, and dry yourself

 

>You dress, and go quickly inside to grab a comb and plain blue bandanna

>Your hair is a might long, and as you finish combing it back, you take the bandanna to your forehead and tie it around the back

"This oughta keep mah hair outta mah eyes, and sweat off mah brow."

>You head out towards the back of the house and there it is

>A whole yard with chickens mucking about, doing not so chicken things

>Chickens are disgusting animals to the observant and to anyone who's lived with them

>scratching

>pecking

>eating their own feces, if given half a chance

>These chickens?

>They're not doing any of the above

>They seem to be doing what -you- would call normal activities

>playing

>running

>gathering in groups to chat or gossip

>it's fucking weird

>But you remind yourself this whole PLACE is fucking weird compared to what you're used to

>wolves made of trees

>Talking ponies

>and now gossippy chickens

>not that you can understand them, they still speak 'chicken'

>but still

 

>You mosey on over to what you assume is the chicken coop

>you find the box Fluttershy keeps their feed in, and open it

>You take stock of the how many bags of feed there are

>you look back to see how many chickens there are, so you know how much feed to get

>between the two, you assume that one bag is more than enough to feed all the chickens

>You open the burlap sack that the feed is in, and start handing out like you normally would

>Grab a handful of feed

>shake out feed from closed hand near chickens

>They may seem different from chickens as you know them, but they still go for the feed

>You notice one chicken isn't eating at all, and your bag is nearly empty

>You walk over to it, reach in and pull out one last handful of feed, and crouch down on one knee

>You hold out your hand to the chicken

"It's alright, lil' one. Ya'll can trust me."

>The chicken looks at you, then at the feed in your palm

>It walks over to you and starts eating the feed

 

>No sooner has the chicken started eating do you feel something wrap tightly around your torso and upper arms

"What in tarnation!"

>"AH KNEW IT! Sure as anythin', I KNEW you'd been pullin' the wool over Fluttershy's eyes! And now you're caught in the act, ya' chicken rustler!

>your eyes suddenly burn with the fires of righteous indignation

"Ah don't know who ya'll are, but ah'll be DAMNED Iff'n ah'll let ya call ME a damned rustler of ANY sort!"

>You stand and turn to face your would-be detainer, to see an orange pony with a blonde mane, wearing a brown cowboy hat

>Her teeth are gritted on the other end of whatever is holding you

>Looks like a rope

>She's got a quite bewildered look to her, like you made of her for something

>"Ya'll can jus' drop that phony accent right now, haystack. Ah know darned well only mah own family talks like that out in these parts, and they ain't no way you're any kin o' mine!"

>You're both playing tug-o-war with her lasso

>You holding steady to keep away

>Her pulling back with all her strength, gritting teeth on the rope that much harder

>Stalemat

 

>You realize she's putting everything into holding you from backing away

>She think's you're gonna run

>She doesn't know you well enough to think otherwise

>You hold, pulling away from her a few seconds more, before 180-ing that motion, taking a few quick steps forward

>The rope slackens, she falls on her rump, and you pull your arms away from your midsection

>The lasso falls limp, you quickly step out of the loop, and grab the rope yourself

"Ah assure you, lil' missy, mah accent is just as real as yours is, and now that ah've got my arms free, you're gonna regret attacking me, honest as the day is long.

>You get back into your resisting stance, and start pulling the rope towards you

>She notices she's losing ground quickly, and spits out the rope

>"Fine, if that's how ya'll wanna play, then let's dance, ya varmint."

>She charges headlong at you

>She turns 180 in the middle of the rush, and tries to buck you square in the gut

 

>She narrowly misses as you jump back

"Now dammit, jus' what do you think you're trying to prove here?

>She's got her lasso back, and she's furiously trying to get you wrapped up in it again

>"Ah know what ah saw. Ya'll was about to put that lil' chicken into that sack, then drag it off to eat it!"

>You start thinking quickly while still avoiding that lasso

>Who did Fluttershy say she'd gone to see again today?

>Rarity and Applejack I think

>YES, Good going, brain!

>now, who was it she left to go see last

>Uhh... OH, IT WAS RARITY, The two of them had a spa-date

>This must be Applejack, then

"Dammit, Applejack, ah weren't gonna eat that damned chicken, Ah was out here feedin' 'em! At FLUTTERSHY'S request! Here, read this!"

>You pull out a folded note from your pocket and toss it to her

>She catches it with her hoof and starts reading it

>Oh god dammit, I quit

>Mag-

>Fuck you, brain

 

>She skims through the note quickly.

>She does so again

>And third time

>Her face more crestfallen each time

>She finally puts the note down, fully realizing her error.

>"Ah... Ah'm so sorry ta have put ya'll through that jus' now. Ah knew ah shoulda just trusted Fluttershy, but somethin' told me ya'll was somethin' bad. And when ah saw ya and that chicken, Ah just assumed... Ah'm sorry, fer ever'thin'."

>She droops her head down in a broken manner, like she's about to cry, grabbing her hat with her hoof and using it to cover her face.

>Fuck it.

>Brain, take a note: Hooves can grab things here.

>You walk over to her, drop to one knee infront of her, and put one hand on her shoulder, and use the other to lift her head up by the chin.

"Ah was gonna thank ya'll fer that amazin' jam if ah met ya'll, so thank ya fer that. Ah was also gonna pay ya back fer it, but quite frankly, after all this, Ah feel that debts repayed. Ah believe in second chances though, especially seein' as this was jus' a misunderstandin'. Ah think ya'll was actin' in what ya thought were these animal's best interests, and that's very noble of ya. Just be a might slower to action next time. Friends?"

>You ask this, pulling your hand from her chin and extending it to shake.

>"Yeah pardner. Friends."

>She extends her hoof into your hand, and you seal another new friendship with a shake.