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Twilight: History Lesson

By: Zix on Feb 4th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.23 KB  |  hits: 153  |  expires: Never
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  1. 1/4
  2. >Day 99 in Equestria
  3. >Wake up in your cheap cabin near the outskirts of P0nyville
  4. >Today's another stupid session with Purple Smart
  5. >You want to skip out, but last time you did, you recieved a death/molest threat from Celestia
  6. >Sigh, get out of your bed, begin morning routine
  7. >Shit, shower, shave
  8. >Put on some "scholarly" clothing
  9. >Magic Horn said she likes it when you show up in that, says it helps her listen more
  10. >Snicker, remembering that you told her Superman was the one who killed Hitler during that session
  11. >Walk down stairs, grab a quick bite of Cheerilee-o's and walk out of your front door
  12. >Make your way to the stupid tree-library
  13. >How the fuck is that even possible
  14. >Is the tree still alive?
  15. >Find yourself at her front door
  16. >It opens before you knock
  17. >It's Purple Smart
  18. >"H-hey, Anon!"
  19. >Spaghetti is flowing from her imaginitive pockets already
  20. >You smell a fruity scent in the air
  21. "Is that... Strawberry?"
  22. >"O-oh, yes. I'm uh, wearing... perfume..."
  23. >You roll your eyes
  24. >She's too goddamn cute
  25. >But she's still a purple marshmellow horse
  26.  
  27. 2/4
  28. "Uh, alright. So, shall we get started?"
  29. >She nods, letting you in
  30. >She leads you to the center of the room and you sit down at the comfy couch
  31. >There are several books on the coffee table in front of you
  32. >One of them is titled "50 Shades of Hay"
  33. >Another is "500 Ways To Seduce A Male, No Matter The Species"
  34. >Another by an auther by the name whose initials are F.S. is titled "5000 Ways To Get That Hot Monkey D-"
  35. >"So! We left off on the topic of World War 7 where Commander Shephard, the Chosen Undead, was about to commence his final battle with Alduin and his brother Diablo."
  36. "Yes."
  37. >You really don't want to be there
  38. >Levitating beside her is a note pad, a quill and an ink for when you resume telling her your 100% accurate Human-Earth history
  39. >She comes over and sits right beside you on the couch, her flank rubbing against your hip
  40. "Uh-"
  41. >"A-am I too close?"
  42. >She retreats and shuffles down the couch to a more comfortable distance
  43. >"Is that better?"
  44. "Yeah, I guess?
  45. >She gives you a cheeky smile
  46. "So... when the PS3 finally got some games, Mario and Sanic decided to-"
  47. >You stop
  48. >She's scribbling something on her notepad
  49. >It doesn't look like she's writing words
  50. >She somehow has not noticed that you had stopped talking
  51. >Decide to take a peek at what she's doing on her paper
  52.  
  53. 3/4
  54. >"Gaah! Anon!"
  55. >She quickly hides her notes
  56. >"K-keep talking! I'm just, uh, catching up with the writing. You speak fast"
  57. "But I only said, like, 10 words."
  58. >"I'm warming up."
  59. "Right. Anyways-"
  60. >"D-do you want some tea?"
  61. >She levitates a platter out of nowhere, or at least you had not noticed it before
  62. >Two teacups and a pot with some sugar and milk
  63. "Where'd you get that from?"
  64. >"I had it prepared from before you came here. F-fresh tea, not laced with anything. Yep."
  65. >You squint at her
  66. >You decide to play along
  67. >Reluctantly, you move your hand to pick up one of the teacups
  68. >Magic Horn gasps
  69. >"Other one!"
  70. "Other one?"
  71. >"Yes. The one with the-uh, yeah. The other one."
  72. >You squint at her
  73. >Pick up the other teacup
  74. >Before she picks hers up, you point behind her
  75. "THAT BOOK IS IN THE WRONG SECTION!"
  76. >"Aaaah!"
  77. >She gets startled and looks behind her, her eyes scanning the bookshelves as though they were a pool of piranhas
  78. >Quickly switch the teacups
  79.  
  80. 4/4
  81. "Oh, sorry, false alarm."
  82. >"False alarm? Oh, Anon, you."
  83. >She gives you a playful smile while collecting herself
  84. >God that's cute
  85. >"I-I hope you enjoy your tea!"
  86. >She quickly levitates "her" teacup to her mouth and gulps it down, her eyes on you the whole time
  87. >She wants you to do the same
  88. >You blink
  89. >She passes out
  90. >Sighing, you pick her up and bring her to her room and place her on her bed
  91. >Do you leave a note?
  92. >Nah, she'll figure it out herself
  93. >Go downstairs
  94. >See her notepad
  95. >Pick it up and look what she was writing
  96. >A heart with the symbols "AN+TS" inside of it
  97. >All of her previous notes are just more doodles
  98. >Goddamn it Twilight, why must she make it hard on you
  99. >Put the note down
  100. >Hesitate for several long moments
  101. >You don't know what to do
  102. >Maybe you'll "talk" to her later
  103. >Leave the library-tree
  104. >Make your way home
  105. >Wonder why she tried to knock you out
  106. >F... Fucking Twilight
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