Stoner in Equestria(Part 6)

>Day 'This was supposed to be about Rainbow!' in Equestria.

>You wake up feeling great, as usual, until you remember last night.

>God damn it Pinkie Pie.

>You look to around the room you stayed at, finding Pinkie and a huge sack. The sack is empty, except for a few things that were spared and trash.

>She didn't really fill this with food did she? And eat it all?

>Fuck, that there is the power of the munchies.

>You think that with a tone of awe and bitterness. You need to get more weed. Now.

>You check your joint case, finding 4. Not bad, but it won't last the day. Even if you do smoke sparingly.

>Maybe Zecora would understand your plight? She said she had weed. You'd just give her a cut of what she's growing for you in exchange for some of hers.

>You decide that can wait a bit. You light a joint and go wake up the Pink Menace.

"Pinkie? *nudge* Wake up!"

>She rolls over, but is still asleep. You were talking pretty loud too.

"Pinkie Pie!! Wake up!!"

>Nothing. You think for a moment.

"Oh hey, the Cakes made us some pancakes!"

>"Where?!"

>She was up and running down the stairs in a flash. You walk down after her, at a much leisurely pace.

>As you get to the main floor you see Pinkie scouring the kitchen for food.

>"Anon! We don't have any food! That's terrible, what are we gonna eat, I'm so hungry!"

>She does a dramatic fainting motion, somehow going in slow-motion. You don't question it.

"What, you don't remember what happened yesterday?"

>She stops half-way to the floor, suspended in mid-air. Fuck, physics has nothing on Pinkie Pie.

>"No, what happened? Did somepone eat all the food?!"

>You have to giggle. Your giggles have now evolved into a fit of laughter. You're not sure whether its the weed or just the irony. Probably both.

"Well, *snicker* y-you could say that*giggle*."

>"Well?! Who was it? Ooooh maybe I should throw them a party for managing to eat everything in the shop!"

>Your breathing regulates and you shove the giggles away.

"Oh really? Its just not right to throw yourself a party, right Pinkie?"

>The confusion is clear on her face until she literally deflates. Neat.

>"Y-you mean, I ate all the food? Ohhhh, the Cakes are gonna be so mad!"

>God she looks cute. You can't help but try to say something nice.

"Well, it wasn't all your fault. It was the stuff you put in the pastries yesterday. It can make you really hungry."

>She poofs back up, back to her bright pink and curly mane.

>"Aww, thanks Anon!"

>Pinkie Pie used Random Hug!

>Its super-effective!

>You pet her mane and try to weasel out of her hug. Your roll isn't high enough, so you fail.

>"I'm sorry about taking your stuff Anon, even if I did use it to make Super-Dooper Double Looper pastries."

"Its- well. Its not fine, but its not...not fine? Damn it Pinkie."

>She giggles and you both set out to do your own things.

 

>You make your way to the Everfree forest, hoping to catch Zecora and get some weed. You only had ONE joint left!

>You arrive at her hut with little incident. Knocking on the door, you wait.

>"Come inside Anonymous, tell me all about your silliness."

>The rhymes. Dear god.

>You walk in and see Zecora taking a hit while working on something in her cauldron, or whatever that thing was called.

"Hey Zecora, I need a favor. You think you could give me a couple of grams? Until you finish growing my stuff, then I'll pay ya back."

>"Silly foal, do you not know me? I can make anything grow, quick as can be."

>She shows you all the Marijuana plants. You have to struggle to not let your knees buckle. And to keep your mouth closed.

"Wh-wha...huh? But? WHAT?! Its only been a couple of days though!"

>"Human, did you not hear my rhyme? I can grow anything quick, it takes no time!"

>That's a really neat skill, you have to admit. Hell, you're not arguing.

"Well then thanks Zecora! You can keep some to make more and have some for yourself."

>You go to get the plants ready to be smoked but Zecora stops you.

>"Ah ah ah, that's my share. Your stuff is ready, look over there."

>You look in the direction she points and...Holy fuck. There's now possible way to stop the spasms now.

>You fall to the floor, having what might as well have been an orgasm.

"Th- holy...b-but? FUCK!"

>Zecora gives you a few minutes to gather your bearings before explaining.

>"I have everything ready for you here, so have no fear. Return whenever you need more, I shall likely have that amount times four."

>You look back at the pile of pot. Then try to imagine four times that.

>Good lord, what sorcery is this!

"Oh my."

>After you're ready to leave, you take your weed and say your goodbyes. Your pretty much set for life, in the drug department, of course.

 

>You make your way to Twilights, you're gonna need her help. She needs to cast a 'Cloud-walking' spell on you, that way you don't fall through the clouds during your stay at Rainbows.

>That makes you think a bit. How come your still moving around? Didn't AJ already offer to let you stay permanently?

>Oh well. Its funner this way...you just said 'funner'...Damn.

>You stare at the half-finished joint in your hand. And proceed to toss it in the nearest trashbin. You can afford to take a break if it makes you say 'funner'.

>Knocking on Twilights door, Spike lets you in.

>"Oh, hey Anon. Wow, you don't have a little stick with you today!"

>It takes you a moment to connect his words.

"Oh. Yeah, well, it wasn't letting me think straight. *whisper* It made me say 'funner' *whisper*."

>He shivers. And suddenly Twilight is beside you. You hope she didn't hear abou-

>"Grammar lesson. Basement. Now."

"But Twi-"

>She makes a ruler poof out of nowhere, along with a pair of glasses.

>"Now."

>You never thought you could have gone down stairs that fast.

 

>After showing Twilight that you could pass Grammar School, you leave the Treebary. Then you go back inside when you remember about the spell.

>Twilight casts the spell and says your good for three days.

>You leave, for real this time, and try to find Rainbow. Seeing the prismatic tail hanging off a cloud, you call her down.

>"Oh, hey Anon. Ready to go to my place?"

"Sure thing. How are we gonna get there?"

>"Duh, how else?"

>....

>You're pretty sure that you're going to be scarred for life after that.

>Being set down near her house, you shake off the experience.

"What...the...fuck Dash?"

>"Heh, what? Can't handle a little speed?"

>Oh she's gonna get it. And you know just how your going to get her back.

"Alright, whatever you say. Lets get me settled in."

>When all is taken care of, you throw yourself down upon her couch, fishing out a joint as you do.

>"Hey! What are you doing!"

>She goes to snatch the joint from your hand. She fails.

>"Anon! What the buck is that anyway?"

>Just as planned.

"Why, its only the most coolest thing in all of Equestria. Only the very coolest can smoke. I don't think you're up to it, but wanna give it a try?"

>She gives you a confused look. Maybe you laid it on a little too thick-

>A flame of anger, mixed with competition, sparks in her eyes.

>"Of course! If somepone like you is so cool, then I should be 20% cooler!"

>You feel like making a groan. Like when someone makes a really bad joke. Huh, that's weird. Oh well.

"Well then, if you think you can handle it, let me show you how its done."

>You take a hit, hold it in, and blow it in her face. She scrunches up her nose.

>"Ugh, smells weird."

"Your turn. If you think you're cool enough."

>"Ha! Let The Dash show you how it done!"

>Her cockiness grabs a hold of her, she takes the joint and takes a huge hit. Well, bigger than what you took. The result is exactly what you thought.

>For a second, she seems to try to hold it in, only to break out into a rough coughing fit. You break into your own fit, of laughter though.

"Nice one Dash. Couldn't handle the coolness?"

>She tries to glare at you but the coughing won't let her. You poke a bit of fun while you can, but she rights herself soon enough.

>"Damn it Anon! What the buck just happened?!"

"Told you Dash, its only for the coolest."

>A devious thought strikes your mind.

"Ya know, AppleJack managed to take two hits off this."

>The flame that had left her eyes returns, much brighter now.

>"Oh yeah?! Well I can take three hits!"

>Hook, line, and sinker.

"I dunno Rainbow...After a fit like that? Ya might wanna take a break. Maybe try again tomorrow."

>She actually hesitates for a minute and you're worried she might reconsid-

>"No way. I can totally handle it."

"Whatever you say Skittles."

>You smirk, at the clever nickname and at the fact that she fell for it. She takes it as a challenge.

>You take a quick hit before giving it back to her. She actually takes it easy this time, seems she learned her lesson.

>She teetering though. Heh, you knew she couldn't handle it. Her eyelids droop over her eyes, only to snap back up as she realizes their position.

>You take your hit, but hold the joint.

"You okay Rainbow? Ya seem a little...out of it."

>"Wha? No way! I'm perfectly fine! Just need a little drink is all."

>She wobbles to her hooves and tries to fly to her fridge...Only to crash almost as soon as she's off the ground.

>You don't bother to hold back your laughter, this is payback after all.

>She glares daggers at you, then opts to walk to the fridge. She returns with some weird cans. They have a lightning bolt on them.

"I don't think those will help ya Skittles. You're going to have to crash eventually."

>"Heh, not with these babies."

>She hands you a can and cracks one open for herself. You examine yours closely.

"'Blitz Punch'? The hell is-"

>Rainbow seems to be pumped with awareness now, her eyes not anywhere near drooping. She gives you a smirk.

>"Just a little something to keep me on my hooves."

>Well, what's the worse that could happen? Oh yeah, you could die from some random ingredient in this.

>Mary Jane tells you to give no fucks.

>You open your can and down it.

>You wait...and wait...

"The hell? I thought this was some kinda ener-"

>Dear god, what is this.

>Your body wasnt ready for whatever the hell was in that drink. You imagine this is what its like to do some cocaine.

>Either that, or the equivalent of overdosing on energy drinks(if that's possible).

>You feel overenergized. Gotta do something! You start running around Rainbow's house, defying physics in a way only Pinkie could.

>Rainbow Dash lays on her back, laughing her flank off. You see she's taken your joint, and is smoking the rest of it.

>Fuck. You really need to get her back for this. Again.

>Rainbow is looking kinda tired, when she grabs the other drink. Chugging its contents, she joins you in your mad race around the house.

>An hour or so later, you feel it. The crash. You try to make it to where you were sleeping but good ol' Blitz had other plans.

>You passed right the fuck out, right in the middle of the living room. Tomorrow shall be for revenge.

>Today was a 'Guess it was about Rainbow' kinda day.