Title:           Sky Runner
Author:          Zeikfried
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/xQexvNBD
First Edit:      Saturday 26th of May 2012 09:15:56 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 26th of May 2012 09:15:56 PM CDT

>Finally, you got a reservation to the Stoic Club.
>Only had to trek to the next town over for it...
>Which was not that bad in comparison to those four days in the desert!
>The Stoic Club is a legendary speakeasy for all kinds of controlled substances.
>You and your friends slip inside.
>The sight of club patrons on trips and benders of all varieties greets you.
>Your friend twitches at your shirt-sleeve.
>"Dude, Jeff, check it out! I think that chick actually has Magic Cake!"
>"No way," you answer. "I gotta try some."
>The two of you make your way over, Paula trailing nervously behind.
 
>"Hey lady?" you say.
>"Uh...?" She looks up at you. "Oh my beautiful child, look at YOU! Resplendent in all the colors of heaven!"
>"You are tripping balls, lady. Where'd you get the cake?"
>"Oh, my sweet lamb, there's a wonderful earth goddess outside who will give you some." she replies.
>"... in the alley." she adds, apparently not discomfited by the idea of a goddess hanging out in a side street.
>"Dude... we are so getting fucked up," your friend whispers to you as you step outside.
>With little difficulty, you locate the Magic Cake lady and make a transaction.
>The effects kick in quickly.
>Your friend is the first to feel it.
>"Oh wow, it's like I'm on an island floating in the sky! Dude... I'm like a prince to these tiny sky people!"
>"Ness... you're high, man. Come here. Give me your key items."
 
>"Jeff?"
>Paula has been calling your name for some time without your noticing.
>"Uh? What?"
>"I'm seriously hungry, Jeff. I got the munchies bad. These are like... Munchies Super. Like Final Munchies. You cannot even grasp the true form of these munchies. And I already ate my last peanut cheese bar."
>"... I'm hungry too. Let's hit the store for snacks. Come on, Ness."
>"Okay, giant talking space head."
>The three of you head to the general store.
>What greets you inside blows your mind.
>"Oh my God, Jeff. Look at these ponies," Paula gasps, completely forgetting about and demoting her munchies to Munchies Jr..
>"I'm looking! They're fucking amazing! God, feel how soft they are!"
>A pony nuzzles your hand; it feels like the gentle flutter of a butterfly's wings.
>The clerk looks over.
>"Those are our Super Plush Fluffy Ponies. Make great gifts, and they can also absorb a lot of punishment."
>"Oh man... I have to buy one. There's no way I'm not buying one. It's like destiny is reaching down and handing this pony to me."
>"That'll be $1198, sir."
 
>You take your pony outside.
>It bounds happily along the beach.
>"Fwuffy wan' gewato!" it pips.
>"Dude, they have gelato here? I could so go for a gelato right now."
>The fluffy hustles you over to the gelato cart.
>An idea strikes you; you sit Ness in the sand, where he passes his hands in front of his face and giggles.
>"Hey Paula... wanna see something cool?"
>"What?"
>You pour your Bag of Dragonite out atop the fluffy's gelato and stir it up.
>"Dude, Jeff..."
>"Shhhh!" you hiss.
>You set the gelato in front of the pony and it digs in.
 
>Fluffy pony stops eating and blinks a few times.
>"Fwuffy feew... feew..."
>Fluffy pony turns into a giant, fire-breathing dragon!
>"FWUFFY FEEW FUNNY," it booms.
>"Holy shit, this is amazing," you whisper, awestruck by the enormous furry lizard.
>"PWAY WIF FWUFFY!" the dragon-pony roars, stomping its way down the city streets.
>You hear a sound like a furnace exploding as it launches a fireball at a taxi trying to swerve madly away from it.
>353HP of damage to the Mad Taxi! The Mad Taxi stops moving!
>"Dude, Paula, this is the best adventure ever."
>Ness sits up suddenly.
>"Holy crap Jeff... I just dreamed that I was a little brown kid who lived in the sky, and that I meditated so hard I understood everything, and that I was teleporting here to join with myself."
>"Ness..."
>"And you'll never guess what the kid's name was!" he continues, breathlessly. "It's freaking hilarious!"
>A huge echoing boom sounds as a small brown kid with a topknot materializes near you.
>The dragon-pony yelps and defecates in surprise at the noise, planting a huge steamer right in the middle of the road.
>"OH NO, POO!" it rumbles.
>The brown kid looks over toward it expectantly; Ness breaks into a fit of giggles.
>You have no idea what's going on anymore.