- >You're outside tending to your hobby garden in your dirty yardwork clothes.
- >You've got some new tomato sprouts and are about to water them when you hear a squeaky voice.
- >"Hewwo!"
- >You turn around and stare at your visitor.
- >A yellow fluffy pegasus colt with a green mane is looking intently at your young shoots.
- >"Nummies!" he declares excitedly, and begins trotting toward them.
- >You smack a gloved hand onto the ground in front of him, bringing him up short.
- >"These aren't yours. Go away and eat something else."
- >"Fwuffy hungwy," he whines, stamping his little hooves in the dirt and pushing past your hand.
- >You dip your other hand in the mouth of your watering can, then flick some water into his face; he flinches and shakes his head.
- >"Get lost," you command.
- >"Meanie!"
- >He about faces and squeezes out several wet, grassy pellets of crap onto the back of your gloved hand.
- >He laughs triumphantly. "Hah!"
- >He makes a beeline for the tender plants; you stare at the shit on your hand. "God dammit."
- >At this point, you're madder than a midget hooker trying to steal a john's wallet off a high dresser.
- >You snatch him up by the back fluff with your wet glove and haul him in front of your face.
- >"Wet go!" he demands, thrashing in your grip; meanwhile your other hand is ferrying its foul cargo over to the squirming invader.
- >You flip him around and slap him down on the ground, then lower the shat-upon hand onto his spine, pinning him to the earth.
- >With your wet hand, you pick up a pellet.
- >"Mulligan." The fluffy pony tries to look over his shoulder at you.
- >"Muwwa-whaa? OWWW!"
- >You've just shoved the first of the pellets back up his fluffy butthole.
- >"Nuuu! Hewp!" he screams as, one by one, his pigeons come back home to roost.
- >Having returned to sender, you take your hand off of his back.
- >"Waah! Poo pwace huwt!"
- >"I packed your shit for you, now get out," you quip.
- >He shoots you an enraged glare out of the corner of his eye, then backs up to you and starts to strain.
- >"Nope." Darting a gloved finger out, you plant it firmly in his rectum; he screams in pain.
- >Next you pick up your watering can and turn the mouth upside down over his ass, drenching it.
- >"Wahh! Cowd!"
- >Curling your finger into a hook, you pick him up by his asshole and carry him, howling, to the edge of your property.
- >A sparse woods runs behind your place; you throw him overhand into the scrub, unhooking your finger so he slides off.
- >He gets a great distance with the additional weight from the water.
- >Too bad it doesn't count; you mulliganed.
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