Colgate One Shot

>Flag day in Equestria.

Today's gonna be great! I can feel it.

>You said a mouth full buddy.

>So it all went down in horse town like this.

>You were walking to the market on a warm fall morning one day, hoping to buy some green tea.

>You walk by a couple stands, looking for one with drinks.

>"Pssst!"

>You look over, and see Carrot Top and her stand.

>"Hey Anon, guess what."

Uh, what?

>"I know you have a crush on Colgate, and I think I can help you out."

>This was true, you did like Colgate quite some bit.

>She and your friends have actually been talking to her a lot lately and she's supposed to be with Twilight today.

>You lean in closer, so nop0ny would listen in on your conversation.

How do you know I like Colgate?

>"I see the way you look at her Anon, and I don't blame ya. She's very pretty."

And how can YOU help?

>"See these?"

>She holds out a little sack, and pours some of the contents in her hoof.

>"You know what these are?"

>They looked like ordinary pills.

...Drugs?

>She rolls her eyes.

>"Well, yeah, but these aren't just any drugs. These are aphrodisiacs. They increase sexual desire."

>This interested you.

>"Here, take some. If you give one of these to her, she'll be all over you. And I mean ALL OVER you."

>She gives you a few of the pills.

>You were pretty unsure of this, it seemed kind of sketchy.

>But you decided, what the hell.

Wow, thanks Carrot Top. How can I ever repay you?

>"Let's not worry about that now. After all, you got a mare to go after."

Thanks, seeya!

>You put them in your pocket and head to Twilight's.

>You made it to Twilight's, and walk in the door.

>Knockings not really your THING.

>You see Twilight and Colgate talking.

>"Oh, hello Anon! We were just talking about you."

>saywutnow

Uh, what were you talking about?

>"Oh, just how you're the BEST cook in the world! I tell you Colgate, Anon's a master chef."

>This was true indeed.

>You were quite skilled behind an oven.

>"Really? You should make us something Anon!"

>Anything for you baby.

>"Hey, yeah! So how about it Anon?"

>This gave you an idea.

>You could put one of the pills in the food and feed it to Colgate.

>Until now, you really didn't have a plan on how to get her to take it.

>Just gotta be sure not to give one to Twilight.

>You didn't want no horny purple smart.

Yeah, sure. I'll get started right away!

>"Oh great! Thank you so much Anon."

No problem.

>You head into the kitchen, start getting out some pots and stuff.

>You were going to make your famous spaghetti.

>Everyp0ny loved it, but Colgate never got the chance to try it.

>Although, your pockets flood with spaghetti just about every time you're around her.

>You start to boil the water, and put the noodles in.

>You later crushed up the pill and put it in the sauce.

>Time passes, and it's done.

>Smells like sex and heaven combined.

>After all, you were an awesome cook.

It's done you guys!

>You smack that shit on a plate and bring it out to them.

>"Oh wow Anon, it looks great!"

>Twilight immediately digs in.

>"Won't you be having any Anon?"

>Jeez Twi, chew your food first.

Nah, I'm not hungry.

>"This is incredible! Best spaghetti I've ever had!"

>She loves your spaghetti. Awesome.

>But wait a minute.

>You just had a realization.

>You put the aphrodisiac in the sauce, and the sauce is on...both of their plates.

>Oh shit.

>You were not into Twilight even the slightest, and you just gave her "sexy drugs".

>You REALLY should of thought this through.

>STUPID!

>You're sitting there in deep thought about this whole situation, and you look up to see that they've finished.

>"Mmmm...that was SO good! I should have you cook for us more often Anon!"

>It seems like the pills didn't take immediate effect.

Yeah, anytime...

>You sit there for about 15 more minutes, waiting for the pills to take effect.

>Twilight and Colgate are conversing amongst themselves while you nod and shake your head whenever they ask you something.

>You were too focused on what might happen.

>Then all of the sudden, Colgate stops in the middle of her sentence and her eyes turn into pin pricks.

>This must be it.

>"Colgate? Is something wro-"

>Now the same thing has happened to Twilight.

>She's just staring off into space with her mouth open, and her eyes very small and bloodshot.

Umm...Colgate? Twilight? Do you feel...different?

>No answer.

>Twilight suddenly starts gagging, much like a cat trying to puke up a hair ball.

>Colgate does the same, and falls to the floor.

Oh my god, Twilight! C-Colgate! Answer me!

>Twilight's head falls to the table, and her eyes close slowly.

>They both have stopped breathing.

>You were speechless.

>You just stood there looking down at both of them, unable to form words.

>You were a murderer.

>You killed to innocent p0nies.

>You're sweating and breathing heavy.

>This really freaked you out.

>And it could of been you.

>If you would have had some spaghetti, you would've been dead just like them.

>You run out the door as fast as you could, and go back to Carrot Top.

>You're running back to the market, and something stops you.

>Guess who? Fluttershy.

>"Hey Anon! Is death your-"

Not now Fluttershy!

>You keep running.

>You soon make it to Carrot Top, and she's packing up her stand.

CARROT TOP!

>She quickly turns around. You must have scared her.

You know those "pills" you gave me? Yeah? Well whatever the hell those things really were, they've killed Twilight and Colgate! How could you? I'm a murderer now Carrot Top! How the hell am I supposed to live with myself?!

>You're starting to tear up.

>"Wait, WHAT!?"

>Why the fuck does she look so shocked? She gave you those pills.

>"Fluttershy paid me to give those to you, I actually thought they were aphrodisiacs, I swear! I didn't know they weren't!"

Wait...Fluttershy? I just saw her...

>"I can't believe this! I'm involved in murder!"

>She starts going on about how she's going to jail and how Fluttershy royally screwed her over.

>You leave Carrot Top in tears and run over to where you last saw Fluttershy.

>She wasn't there.

>You were going to fuck her up when you found her.

>You run back to the tree house and barge in there like it's nop0ny's business.

>There's Fluttershy.

>She's just standing there next to Twilight and Colgate's dead bodies.

>With a smile on her face.

>"Does this turn you on Anon?"

>You didn't know what to say.

>You didn't know what that meant.

>You didn't know how to react to this scene.

>So you just stared at her, and then the bodies.

>"Let me rephrase that: Is death your fetish, Anon?"

>You could of swore she said something like that earlier.

>Wait, she did. When she tried to stop you earlier.

>"Sooo...is that a yes?"

>A smile starts to creep on your face.

Oh Fluttershy!

>You go over to her and put your arm around her shoulder, and she does the same to you.

>You both have a good laugh about this whole situation.

>"Hahaha...so really...is death your fetish?"

>You stop laughing and look her dead in the eye.

>You pick her up over your head and throw her out the window.

No.

>Fucking Fluttershy.

 

[spoiler] Spike saw the whole thing.