Title:           Anon Tried to Kill Himself - Act II, part 5
Author:          Writefag_Roulette
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/dLxke8PC
First Edit:      Thursday 25th of August 2016 01:18:22 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 29th of August 2016 10:33:30 PM CDT

Part 5: A War is Declared
 
>you ended up not sleeping on the floor
>somehow you managed to get to your bed
>and now, with sunlight filtering through the incredibly impractical crystal walls, you wake up
>you feel itchy
>you slowly sit up in your bed and scratch at your face
>ngah, fuck, that makes it worse
>this can't fucking be good
>did you leave your door open last night?
>you always close the door when you enter a bedroom
>why the fuck is that door open then?
>Twilight's voice assaults your ears from a distance
>"Anooon! Are you getting up? There's breakfast down here!"
"What is it?"
>"Pancakes!"
"Again?"
>"Get down here!"
>all right; this shouldn't be a problem
>just don't scratch yourself
>you throw the sheets off and force yourself to stand on the floor
>you never bothered undressing last night, so you simply head out the door
>where the hell do you even go?
>this castle is fucking huge
>"Anooooon!"
>that way, you decide to go that way
>your keen listening is rewarded with a set of sparkling stairs
>you step onto the stairs, and suddenly the rubbing of your clothing against your body reminds you that you're fucking itchy
>it takes a mighty effort to resist the need to scratch yourself, but you manage
>mostly
>or, mostly not
>by the time you reach the foot of the stairs, the itching is replaced with a sort of pleasant pain that only ten anxious fingernails can bring
>from the base of the stairs it's a straight path to a dining chamber, where Twilight and the others from last night are waiting for you
>Twilight approaches you
>"Anon, there you are. You look… red. Moreso than usual."
"Well I wouldn't look fucking green, now would I?"
>"Are you sure you're all right?"
>that autistic grey pony who's apparently the reason you're here speaks up
>"Maybe he's got scabies!"
>that's an oddly specific diagnosis to be making from fifty feet away
>Twilight cocks her head
>"Scabies? No, it's probably just-"
>Twilight's purple magic skims your skin and brings some sort of speck up to her eye
>"Sarcoptes scabiei. It is scabies! Anon, how did this happen? You bathe regularly, right?"
"Of course! My last shower was only…"
>oh fuck
>it has been a good spell, hasn't it?
>maybe not since you lived on Earth
>but still
>"Anon!"
"No, no no, no! There's no way…"
>the open door
>the uncanny diagnosis
>it reeks of foul play
>you point to the austistic pony
"He did this!"
>he touches his hoof to his chin and smiles
>Twilight isn't convinced
>"Anon! Sombra absolutely did not give you scabies! This sort of thing doesn't happen with proper hygiene! Anon, you're filthy!"
>the pink princess pony speaks up
>"Twilight, the castle has bathing rooms. Feel free to take your friend to one of them."
>you feel like you're going to try to kill yourself again
>Twilight is visibly embarrassed by the offer too
>"Thank you, Cadance. I'll do that right now."
>Twilight's horn purples and grabs your ear
>and as she drags you off, all you can see is Sombra
>smiling at you
>smugly
 
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>"Strip."
"Wh-what?"
>"Strip!"
"I can bathe myself, you fucking horse!"
>Twilight magically grabs your shirt and yanks upwards on it
>"Apparently not!"
"No, seriously, fuck off, I need privacy for this!"
>"Nope! You humiliated me; now I'm gonna humiliate you!"
>she mad
>Twilight grabs your arms and forces them up
>the shirt slides over your head and you're topless
"Oh, come on! You can't possibly-"
>"Last time I checked, you were still my vassal, and you were still bound to do everything I say!"
"B-but that was just-"
>your pants glow purple, and they begin to try to jerk downwards
"No, fucking stop!"
>Twilight finally manages to yank your pants down
>after they've fallen to your ankles, she yanks them to the side
>the pants come free, knocking your shoes off with them and sending you tumbling to the floor in prone position
>you were never issued underpants, so Twilight is treated to a big faceful of ass
>Twilight whacks your butt with her hoof to knock it away from her
>it falls to the floor with the rest of you, and roll over onto your back and groan
>"Get in the tub."
>somehow you don't feel like resisting any more
>you crawl over to the tub, climb over the edge, and collapse into the lukewarm water
>"Eeeew! Anon, the water is turning brown already!"
>bullshit
>it definitely looks more grey than brown
>Twilight grabs your head with her hoof and dunks it under the water
"Do that again, please. Only hold it there this time."
>Twilight's uses her hoof to smack the back of your head
>"Don't joke like that!"
>it's funny that she assumes it was a joke
>your scalp is bombarded with a sudden glop of cold, liquid soap
>and you're quickly dunked under the water again
>"Wait here. I'll be right back."
>it's extra funny that you have no memory of almost dying at any point until you tried to kill yourself last week
>because you're sure that you must have died at some point
>because Equestria is obviously some sort of hell
>"Here it is. Bend over, Anon."
>you see Twilight holding a very thickly-bristled scrubbing brush
"Wh-whatever happened to friendship and all that?"
>"Sometimes friendship is tough love, pal."
>the brush is applied to your back
>and somewhere, in the maelstrom of pain inflicted by it, a thought forms
>the thought?
>you're gonna fucking get Sombra back for this shit