Title:           Anon Tried to Kill Himself - Act I, part 6
Author:          Writefag_Roulette
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/BHWcYfPt
First Edit:      Thursday 25th of August 2016 12:08:48 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 25th of August 2016 12:08:48 PM CDT

Anon Fucking Hates Tea Time
 
>"And… that… should… do it!"
>the last of Twilight's magic ebbs out of your back
>it still stings all over, but you should be able to walk now
>"Now, you have to take it easy for the rest of the day, Anon. You're still sensitive and the skin on your back will tear easily."
"So what do I do all day?"
>"Well it was my intention to visit Fluttershy's place for tea. You're welcome to tag along."
>she gives you the sweetest little smile
>it's a smile that tells you that if you tell its owner "no" she'll force you to come anyway
"Sure."
>"Great. I'm ready to go now!"
"I'm not wearing a shirt."
>"Oh, it'll be fine, let's go! Nobody's gonna judge you or anything!"
>you look down at your body
>it's definitely in the "skinny" range from a year of hardly eating
>on the upper half you can see your ribs
>on the lower half it's wierdly lumpy and it reminds you of cottage cheese
>you've somehow managed to retain your manboobs, which stick out a bit past the point where healthy pecs ought with your body composition
>most of your torso's hair surrounds your belly button, but a few long hairs sparsely populate the area between your nipples
>fuck it
"All right, whatever you say, princess."
>she doesn't smack you for the snarky remark
>"Great. I think you'll really like Fluttershy, Anon. She's a lot like you."
>doubt.jpg
"One hundred?"
>her smiling face goes blank
>"It would be unethical of me to divulge the nature of what was corrected at her cottage yesterday."
>a smirk finds its way onto the unicorn's lips
>"Besides, it's not exactly as if you were acting like yourself the other day, either."
>you lose your will to speak and silently head out the door
>Twilight trots out after you with an awkward chuckle
>"Uh, whoah there, wait for me."
>it's a long ass walk with an awkward silence
>but you get there
>Twilight knocks on the door
>and a yellow pony opens the door
>"H-hi, Twilight. A-a-and, uhm…"
>they both look at you, waiting for you to remind Fluttershy of your name
>you don't
>"Anon. This is Anon."
>"H-hi Anon."
>"May we come in?"
>"Oh, of course."
>Twilight walks right in, hops onto the couch, and looks at you
>you take your seat
>Fluttershy brings a tray with three teacups into the room and sits on the a chair across from Twilight's position on the couch
>Twilight magically distributes cups to everyone, and Spaghetticon Eqeustria begins
>"So, uh, Fluttershy, you're a little more quiet than normal. What's up?"
>Fluttershy glances at you while muttering something incomprehensible
>"Is it Anon? Is he making you feel uncomfortable?"
>your eyes cross ever so slightly and you find your gaze fixed to the floor
>"Okay, well, uh, I'm gonna go and do, something, for a little bit. Be right back. Okay?"
>Twilight leaves the silent room and steps outside
>time passes
>about two minutes in you dream up a little thought experiment
>take two people of the kind that won't initiate conversation
>put them in a room together
>and wait to see if discussion happens anyway
>what an interesting thought
>perhaps you should say something
 
"So"
>fuck
>Fluttershy bolts upright and stares wide-eyed at you
>fuuuuck
"S-so, uh, how's that life?"
>a wordless noise of uncertainty escapes her lips and strikes you like a newspaper might strike a misbehaving puppy
"Well, uh, that's good I guess."
>she's still staring right at you, her eyes big as saucers
>literally
>these ponies can be freaky as shit
>her massive pupils aren't quite meeting your eyes though
>they're a little bit
>lower
>and suddenly you're overcome with the sensation of an autistic yellow horse staring at your nipples
>fucking Twilight with her "nobody's gonna judge you" shit
>you grab a pillow and hug it to your torso in an attempt to hide your shame
>Fluttershy bites her lip and her eye twitches slightly
>what the fuck
>was she enjoying the view
>is she attracted to you?
>plsbeinlondon.jpg
"I-I'm sorry, did you want to see?"
>Fluttershy's eyes become as big as the fucking sun
>"OH, NO! I'm just… not sure if that's…"
>she cringes a little
>"sanitary…"
"O-o-o-oh…"
>of fucking course she was grossed out by your misshapen body on her pillow, you autist
>after a moment of staring at the wall to your left, her soft voice sounds in your ear
>"Anon, your tea looks cold. Would you like me to get some more?"
>you jump like a fucking skeleton just grabbed your shoulder
"S-sure"
>"I'll be right back."
>a minute passes
>she's probably sneaking out
>hoofsteps
>it's Fluttershy, she actually came right back with more tea
>oh fuck why didn't she just sneak out?
>she sets down the tea in front of you and returns to her seat
>"So Anon."
>…
"Yes?"
>"What are the animals like where you're from?"
>you notice now that several dozen birds, bunnies, rodents, and even a massive bear are approaching Fluttershy's chair, staring at you
>one white rabbit stands on top of the back rest, gazing angrily into your soul
"Well, the rabbits are fatter."
>Fluttershy's eyes take on both the size and the brilliance of the sun
>"Oh, you have bunnies where you're from? I thought you came from another world?"
"I don't really know where I came from, relative to here."
>"But you have bunnies?"
"Yes."
>"What else do you have?"
>you mentally prepare yourself
>for the best explanation of Earth's wildlife you can possibly give
>and for the longest conversation with a female you've ever had
 
----------------------------------------------------------------
 
>"No!"
"Yes, all of them."
>Fluttershy's composure devolves into a fit of giggles
>"Oh Anon, I can't possibly see why you were so sad. You're just so lovable."
>she's sitting next to you now, and currently mockingly pinching your cheeck with an impossibly dextrous hoof
>small talk is great
>you can't say just what exactly you've been talking about for the past two hours
>but you're having a nice time for once
>Fluttershy's comment makes you feel a little more reserved
>you grunt to express some emotion you don't know the word for, but the giggling mare doesn't notice
>it is at this moment that your eyes are stabbed by the flash of a neon light
>in between you and Fluttershy sits a monstrous creature
>serpentine in shape, with a horse's head and a myriad of other parts that don't belong on the same body
>"Fluttershy! You've missed our evening stroll entirely! I've been positively sick with anxiety!"
>"Oh, I'm so sorry Discord. I've just been so caught up in talking with Anon here."
>the snakelike neck whips around, bringing its head inches from your face
>"Anon, eh?"
>the words "good evening" form in your lungs, but never make it past your throat despite several tries
>"How d'you do."
>totally disinterested, he turns back to his horse to resume his discussion
>y-you too
>"Fluttershy! You know how busy I've become lately, this is the only time I'm able to spend with you anymore!"
>"What exactly do you do all day?"
>Discord ignores the question, continuing his rant
>"And I'm nigh on five thousand years old! I need my excercise to stay healthy! I simply can't keep it off like the young, beautiful folks do anymore."
>now might be the time for a smartass comment
"R-really? Y-y-you don't look a day over fourteen hundred!"
>Discord turns to look at you again, this time seeming a bit pissed off
>he sizes you up, top to bottom
>"You should really consider wearing a shirt."
>Discord snaps his fingers and a hideous, yellow polka-dot sweatervest materializes over your bare chest
>Fluttershy poorly conceals a giggle
>you've always read that, in these sorts of situations, a man is supposed to feel a burning sensation in his face
>yet you feel nothing but the return of an old, familiar pit in your stomach
>something that had previously been there so long you'd simply stopped noticing it
"I should probably get going now."
>Fluttershy manages to look a little bit disappointed
>"Please come back any time you-"
>"Yes, yes, it is getting quite late, isn't it? You should really run along back to your princess now."
>snap
>and you're outside of Fluttershy's little cottage
>all the blinds and curtains close, and the door clicks locked
>oh, and just in time, too
>Twilight is walking back to the cottage, carrying what seems to be a box of wafer cookies
>she hasn't noticed you yet
>so you dash off of the beaten path and make your escape behind a cover of trees, bushes, and darkness
>once you're out of the cottage's general vicinity, you wonder where you can even go
>your yurt has been taken down; you went past the spot where it once stood
>nowhere to go but back to your shitty little bed in Princess Twilight's crystal castle
>it's time for bed anyways
>you're just so fucking tired right now