Title:           Anon Tried to Kill Himself - Act I, part 2
Author:          Writefag_Roulette
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/zsAMMGFC
First Edit:      Thursday 25th of August 2016 11:50:21 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 25th of August 2016 11:50:21 AM CDT

Part 2: A Shitty Fucking Morning
 
>you got approximately no sleep last night
>apparently, this Spike that you're bunking with is a little dragon
>that's not a fucking figure of speech
>he spent four hours ranting and raving about "number one assistant" and "being replaced" and oh fuck why please shut the fuck up kid
>with no warning whatsoever, he passed out and spent the next four hours snoring like a fucking rock grinder
>you'd have made another attempt if the little reptile hadn't killed your ability to think
>it was only just as, against all odds, you finally found yourself drifting toward sleep that your new fucking mistress burst through the door and pulled back the curtains on the windows
>a horrible, blinding sensation emanates from the glass
"AHH FUCK SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"
>"It's… the Sun, Anon."
>"And watch your language around Spike! He's just a baby you know."
>upon a more careful inspection of the window, you can now see that the Sun does, in fact, still exist
>you mumble something, roll over, and pull the blanket over your head
>the blanket glows purple for an instant and is whisked off of you
>"No more time for sleep, Anon! There's lots to do. Come on!"
"Why doesn't Spike have to get up?"
>"Well he is just a baby dragon, you know. He needs his rest."
>you can't even argue at this point
>so you get up for a fresh day of hell
>"Excellent. Now if you'll put some clothes on you can follow me to the table for breakfast."
>your ugly ass is in tighty-fucking-whiteys, because you just don't give a shit
"You ponies go around naked all day. What makes you so sure that humans wear clothes on a regular basis?"
>she grins a grin that seems to know too much
>"Oh, you'll see how I know soon enough."
>FUCK
>you reckon she must have recorded you fapping all day in that yurt somehow
>without a word, you head over to your trunk to grab some pants
"What the fuck is this?"
>you hold up a shirt that seems to belong more at a renaissance fair than in daily wear
"Where are my clothes?"
>"Oh, those were all ragged and ruined. Don't worry, I had a good friend make you some new ones yesterday while you were, uh"
>"unconscious."
>whatever
>so you head down to breakfast dressed up like a fucking merry man of King Fagsalot's court
>upon entering the dining room, you see a round, glass table surrounded by seven chairs, six with pastel symbols on them
>five of these are already filled
>Twilight greets her guests and sits down in the chair with the purple star on it
>and all the ponies stare at you
>oh fuck
>you have to sit down to eat
>but the only seat left is a little chair right next to Twilight
>autism locks you in place and keeps you from moving
>Twilight coughs
>"Uhh, are you going to sit down, Anon?"
"Y-y-yeah"
>you shuffle awkwardly to the open chair
>but things only get more awkward as the chair seems to push you out of it and you end up face down on the floor
>Twilight giggles nervously
>"Well, uh, that's never happened before. I guess that throne is for Spike only."
>fucking Spike
>a moment of silence passes
>"Uh that should be all right. Just let me get you your own chair here."
>her horn glows purple and a rickety, wooden chair also glowing purple floats into the room and lands right next to Twilight's chair
>"There we go. That should do it."
>you plop down unceremoniously into your chair, too far gone to feel shame
>purple glowing plates of pancakes come streaming into the room
>nobody says a word as the meal commences
>but eventually the white pony speaks up
>"So, Anon, darling"
>she pauses when your dull gaze meets her glassy stare
>"How do you like the clothes I made you?"
>your dull gaze becomes an apparently annoyed one
>"Uuh, I mean, how do they fit, and, stuff…?"
>you pull your arms across your chest and the white unicorn cringes violently as the sound of stretching and slight tearing fills the air
>"Uh right. Too tight then. Be sure to stop by my boutique later for a refitting."
>she breaks eye contact and becomes very interested in the arrangement of fruit on top of her pancakes
>the meal ends without another word
>Pinkie the pink pony grinned a shiteating grin and inhaled loudly as if to say something stupid at one point, but the orange pony put a stop to that by shoving her hoof into Pinkie's mouth
>when the pancakes are no longer being eaten, the five ponies get up and leave without a word
>are the symbols on those chairs duller than they were before?
>Twilight purples your shirt and drags you away
>"Come on, Anon. Why can't you have been a little more outgoing? Those are my closest friends, and they want to be your friend too!"
>>they want to be your friend too
>>implying
>she groans
>"All right, that's fine. This next exercise is sure to do you some good."
>she takes you into an empty room, save for a mirror and a fuck-ugly contraption attached to it