Vacuum Ponies [VRRM] (Ongoing)

>You are Anonymous

>And it's cleaning day!

>You walk downstairs into your modest living room

>Switching the light on you cross the room to your closet

>Open the door, it let's out its creak in protest and you look down to your best cleaning buddy

>Your Henry vacuum cleaner!

>There's seriously nothing this bad boy can't get off the floor

>Pulling it out you plug it in to the wall

>You hear the hum of the magic leyline converter outside your house

>Awww yeah let's do this

>Switching Henry on the vacuum comes to life, the sound of roaring air at 42L/sec is something to behold

>Reaching into your right pocket you pull out your MP3 player and your noise cancelling earbuds

>Putting them on you turn it to shuffle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa-5YnAllLM

>Aww yeah, something nice and smooth to clean to

>You start your weekly routine of vacuuming and cleaning house

>Under the couch, table, around the edges, and lastly the main part in the middle

>A slight feeling of presence is creeping up your neck and it's bothering you

>Looking up Rainbow Dash is in the corner of your house, by the front door

>And she is absolutely terrified

>Quickly ripping off the earbuds and switching off the vacuum cleaner you look up to her

"Rainbow what's wrong?"

>She won't budge, frozen in shock and shaking from head to tail

>Her magenta eyes are dialated to the max and her breathing is heavy, like she's run a mile

>Just looking at ther is making you nervous, what could possibly make her so scared? She's one of the bravest p0nies you know!

>"A-anon, w-what's that?"

>She's pointing to your vacuum cleaner

>Wut

"This?"

>You say that as you switch it back on with your foot

>"AAAH STOP IT STOP IT STOOOOOOP!"

>She scrambles towards your kitchen

>Sounds of breaking glass and falling pots and pans fill the room

>Ugh, you just got done washing those...

>Walking to the kitchen you find Rainbow in the corner behind the fridge, still shaking

"What's wrong with you it's just a vacuum cleaner"

>"A WHAT?"

>She's yelling so loud you think the pressure around your ears just incrased tenfold

>"A CLEANER?!?! NO THAT THING IS SCARY!"

"Dash chill out I wont use it"

>Great, now you'll have to clean your beautiful carpet some other way

>Well this is just great

"What do you suggest? I get a baby elephant and push him around on a cart?"

>She's confused now

>"What?"

>These poines

"Nevermind, I'll just go find something else to clean then"

>Walking away from her she flies past and lands at your front door

"Why did you come to my house anyway?"

>She cocks her head in thought for a second before coming to her realization and replying

>"Oh!, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the theatre with the rest of us and-"

>You get an idea at that point and kick the vacuum cleaner back on

>It roars back to life

>"ANOOOON TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!!!"

>She takes off again with a crack this time, hitting the wall like a frenzied dog and stumbling up the stairs in a mix of terror and adrenaline

>Chucking to yourself you wrap the cord up to your vacuum cleaner and stow it safely in your closet

>Now you know what to use every time Rainbow drinks all your vodka

 

Fin.

 

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>Ah, great summer morning

>Birds are out

>Celestia has her sun at "nearly burning you" temperatures

>And it's Thursday

>Which means it's cleaning day!

>Getting your Mp3 player again and your earbuds you get dressed enough to be decent and walk downstairs into your prized living room

>Cleanliness has always been an important virtue in your previous life on Earth

>Here is no different

>Crossing the room yet again you open your closet door

>No creak this time

>P0ny WD40 works great

>There it is, the height of human cleaning technology

>Your Henry vacuum cleaner

>Grabbing the cleaning machine you plug it in to the magic leyline and go to turn it on, when I knock at the door interrupts you

>Putting only one earbud in you cross the room to your front door

>Opening it up you find Applejack, with a basket of apples and a pie balanced on her back

>You still can't figure out how they do that but anyways

"Hey Applejack, what's up?"

>With her trademark smile she motions to the things she was carrying

>"Ah jus' want tuh make sure you're doin' okay there Anon, haven't seen yah in a while"

>That is true, lately your job has picked up the pace. As a result of that, you've been tired and groggy lately

>The increased pay ALMOST makes up for it though

"Yeah I'm sorry about all that Applejack, job has been picking up and I'm one of two employees there. Time Turner has given me a raise as a thank you but it doesn't stop me from being tired all the time."

>"Well Anon, I sure can respect that" she replies with a curt nod of her head

>You get an idea

"Hey Applejack you busy? You want to come in and help me finish that pie and the rest of the Stalliongrad Silver I got from Cider Sliders? We can catch up, talk a while"

>That smile again

>"Sure Anon, I'll put the stuff in the kitchen"

"Great, I'll just clean the living room real quick and we'll be good to go"

>Applejack let's out a small yet hearty chuckle

"What's so funny?"

>"Oh Anon, you're always cleanin' sumthin' "

>As Applejack enters your kitchen you get your Mp3 player back out and out the other ear bud in

>Turning it to shuffle brings you to your first song

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFgh6IpeK28

>Aww yeah, a nice mix to clean to

>As you were about to kick on the vacuum cleaner of gods Applejack wanders back into the living room

>"Hey Anon you want tuh-"

>Not hearing her because of your bad ass earbuds you turn the vacuum cleaner on anyway

>Not the best of ideas

>The only thing you see is an orange blur as Applejack races across the room

>In one fluid motion she stops on her front legs, twirls, and kicks out with her back legs at your precious vacuum

>Which proceeds to sail across the room

>Aim for the stars

>*KEESH*

>There goes your window

>You turn to Applejack

"What in the everloving fuck are you doing?"

>She's breathing heavy, like she's been in a fight or something

"Hello? What did you do taht for?"

>"Ah, ah thought It was a monster attackin' yah Anon"

>What?

>WHAT

"What? That's my vacuum cleaner, not a damn monster. Shit, it's probably broken now"

>"Cleaner? That that wudn't no cleaner ah seen"

>With the sigh of the mighty gods themselves you go out your back door to retrieve your fallen comrade

>It looks to be unharmed, despite a full force kick from Applejack

>Not so bad I guess

>But she's not going to get away with it

>Going back inside Applejack's still where you left her

>"Ah'm sorry Anon I just overreacted a-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it"

>Setting the vacuum cleaner behind her and plugging it in you find the right time to strike

>"Look, ah'l go get the pie and everythin' jus' wait here"

>She goes to leave but you put the nozzle of the vacuum on her tail and kick the vacuum on

>"AHHHHHHHHHH"

>FLOMP

>Applejack is stuck inside the vacuum up to her head, which is the only thing sticking out

>Quite comical really

"I forgot you p0nies don't have bones Applejack, here lemme help you"

>"Anon, whaddya doi-"

>Putting the nozzle on your now broken windowsill you click the switch on the handle from pulling in air

>To pushing it

>Picking up the vacuum with your left hand you turn it on

>Boom

>In a cloud of dust and dirt Applejack goes flying out of the window out into your backyard

>'AAAAAHhhhhhhhhhh- *thump*"

>Teach her to kick your shit

>Going back to the kitchen you grab a slice of pie and your Stalliongrad Silver for a good rest of the evening

 

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>Waking up you grumble out of bed and slip clothes on

>Sunlight is pouring into the room through your opened window, exposing all the dust specks in the air

>You serious the fuck up

>Cleaning

>Now

>Hurrying downstairs you open up your little cleaning closet to find your best buddy

>Your Henry vacuum cleaner

>It has a hoof shaped dent in it now after Applejack kicked it out the window

>No matter, it's a trooper

>Lifting it up to bring out of the closet you note how heavy it is

"Did I forget to empty it last time? What the he-"

>"HEY ANOOOOOOOON"

>Startled, you fall backwards. More scared than Chris Brown at a feminist rally

"What the hell?!"

>Pinkie's head just popped out of the tip of your vacuum nozzle

>How long was she in there...

>You don't want to know

>"Hehe, sorry Nonny. I wanted to surprise you and wonder what this sucky thingy is because AJ and Dashie keep talkin' about it. Dashie says it's a monster and AJ keeps saying it's dangerous and-"

>My god she really doesn't stop

>"I don't know know WHAT to think so I was gonna come and see and when I picked up the little hose thing I got sucked in! And'"

>Eye is visibly twitching now

>"I tried to get out but nothing was working! Not even my little swticheroo doohicky thing!"

>She flashes what looks a lot like a portal gun

>"So I guess I had to wait until you got me out! Isn't that funny Nonny?"

>She looks at you expectantly, most likely wanting an answer to the onslaught of words she just unleashed

>All you can do is sit and try to catch up to that

>Shaking your head you kneel down to your Henry vacuum cleaner and try to pop the lid off

>Successfully doing so you lift Pinkie out of the vacuum cleaner

>She bounces out of your grip onto your couch

>"Thanks Nonny!"

>You give a slight chuckle

>This fuckin' mare

"Not a problem Pinkie, well I'm going to go get some water before I vacuum today. I'm a little thirsty"

>Throat's drier than british comedy, listening to that mare is taking a toll on you

>Walking into your kitchen you open your cabinet above the counter to grab a glass

>Getting some ice out of your freezer you turn the tap on and fill the glass up

>Turning around and leaning against the counter you have just enough time to take a sip of water when you hear a "VRRM" noise and a split second after that

>A pink blur flying out of your open kitchen window

>Choking on your water you set the glass down and and run to the window

>Looking out into your backyard you can see your precious vacuum cleaner flying around, "VRRM" on full blast and a giggleing Pinkie sitting on top. Holding the nozzle away from her.

>How can she even do that, it isn't possible

>Avoiding a headache you run out into the backyard

"Pinkie!! Get down here! I need my vacuum back and you'll get hurt!"

>Wait

>It's not plugged in

>How can she...

>My god this hurts your head

>At that point Pinkie rounds towards your house in a nose dive

>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

>This is horrifying

>Dodging out of the way you spot the cord dragging on the ground

>Awww hell no

>Grabbing the cord you brace yourself

>Slack is gone

>Here we go

>You expect to be dragged around but she's coming back in a circle

>You don't notice the cord wrapping around your wrists

>"Nonny! This is fun! Ohhh look a switch"

>Only thing you hear is the VRRM intensifying as she starts to circle you faster and faster

>How is she getting  closer like that...

>A slight tug at your wrists answer your question

>This cord is already wrapped around your hands

>You cannot escape

>She's coming closer

>She's eventually gonna run into you

>Nothing can save you now

>Silently you just stand and wait for it

>Fuck it you're panicking

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

>Tugging and grabbing at the cords are doing nothing

>The VRRM is getting louder

>She's getting closer

>You don't want it to end like this

"Pinkie please turn off the vacuum!!"

>"I can't hear you Nonny! You should really speak louder!"

>It's no use

>In your effort to free yourself from this wired prison you trip and fall on the ground

>You're now on your back trying with all your might to get free of this hell

>"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

>*flump*

>Finally catching the ground Pinkie gets launched into the air

>And on to your chest

"Pinkie..."

>A grin comes across Pinkie's face

>"Yeah Anooooon?"

"Get off me and untangle me please"

>"I can't really do that...OH! I got an idea! I'll be back"

>She darts up and grabs the vacuum cleaner

>What is she doing...

>Hopping on she turns it back on (Still don't know how the hell she does that)

>She takes off in the other direction

>After putting two and two together you figure out what she's doing

>This is going to be a long day...

 

Fin. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated

 

Bin here http://www.pastebin.com/u/Wolfkrone