Vacuum Ponies (Ongoing)

>You are Anonymous

>And it's cleaning day!

>You walk downstairs into your modest living room

>Switching the light on you cross the room to your closet

>Open the door, it let's out its creak in protest and you look down to your best cleaning buddy

>Your Henry vacuum cleaner!

>There's seriously nothing this bad boy can't get off the floor

>Pulling it out you plug it in to the wall

>You hear the hum of the magic leyline converter outside your house

>Awww yeah let's do this

>Switching Henry on the vacuum comes to life, the sound of roaring air at 42L/sec is something to behold

>Reaching into your right pocket you pull out your MP3 player and your noise cancelling earbuds

>Putting them on you turn it to shuffle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa-5YnAllLM

>Aww yeah, something nice and smooth to clean to

>You start your weekly routine of vacuuming and cleaning house

>Under the couch, table, around the edges, and lastly the main part in the middle

>A slight feeling of presence is creeping up your neck and it's bothering you

>Looking up Rainbow Dash is in the corner of your house, by the front door

>And she is absolutely terrified

>Quickly ripping off the earbuds and switching off the vacuum cleaner you look up to her

"Rainbow what's wrong?"

>She won't budge, frozen in shock and shaking from head to tail

>Her magenta eyes are dialated to the max and her breathing is heavy, like she's run a mile

>Just looking at ther is making you nervous, what could possibly make her so scared? She's one of the bravest p0nies you know!

>"A-anon, w-what's that?"

>She's pointing to your vacuum cleaner

>Wut

"This?"

>You say that as you switch it back on with your foot

>"AAAH STOP IT STOP IT STOOOOOOP!"

>She scrambles towards your kitchen

>Sounds of breaking glass and falling pots and pans fill the room

>Ugh, you just got done washing those...

>Walking to the kitchen you find Rainbow in the corner behind the fridge, still shaking

"What's wrong with you it's just a vacuum cleaner"

>"A WHAT?"

>She's yelling so loud you think the pressure around your ears just incrased tenfold

>"A CLEANER?!?! NO THAT THING IS SCARY!"

"Dash chill out I wont use it"

>Great, now you'll have to clean your beautiful carpet some other way

>Well this is just great

"What do you suggest? I get a baby elephant and push him around on a cart?"

>She's confused now

>"What?"

>These poines

"Nevermind, I'll just go find something else to clean then"

>Walking away from her she flies past and lands at your front door

"Why did you come to my house anyway?"

>She cocks her head in thought for a second before coming to her realization and replying

>"Oh!, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the theatre with the rest of us and-"

>You get an idea at that point and kick the vacuum cleaner back on

>It roars back to life

>"ANOOOON TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!!!"

>She takes off again with a crack this time, hitting the wall like a frenzied dog and stumbling up the stairs in a mix of terror and adrenaline

>Chucking to yourself you wrap the cord up to your vacuum cleaner and stow it safely in your closet

>Now you know what to use every time Rainbow drinks all your vodka

 

Fin.

 

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>Ah, great summer morning

>Birds are out

>Celestia has her sun at "nearly burning you" temperatures

>And it's Thursday

>Which means it's cleaning day!

>Getting your Mp3 player again and your earbuds you get dressed enough to be decent and walk downstairs into your prized living room

>Cleanliness has always been an important virtue in your previous life on Earth

>Here is no different

>Crossing the room yet again you open your closet door

>No creak this time

>P0ny WD40 works great

>There it is, the height of human cleaning technology

>Your Henry vacuum cleaner

>Grabbing the cleaning machine you plug it in to the magic leyline and go to turn it on, when I knock at the door interrupts you

>Putting only one earbud in you cross the room to your front door

>Opening it up you find Applejack, with a basket of apples and a pie balanced on her back

>You still can't figure out how they do that but anyways

"Hey Applejack, what's up?"

>With her trademark smile she motions to the things she was carrying

>"Ah jus' want tuh make sure you're doin' okay there Anon, haven't seen yah in a while"

>That is true, lately your job has picked up the pace. As a result of that, you've been tired and groggy lately

>The increased pay ALMOST makes up for it though

"Yeah I'm sorry about all that Applejack, job has been picking up and I'm one of two employees there. Time Turner has given me a raise as a thank you but it doesn't stop me from being tired all the time."

>"Well Anon, I sure can respect that" she replies with a curt nod of her head

>You get an idea

"Hey Applejack you busy? You want to come in and help me finish that pie and the rest of the Stalliongrad Silver I got from Cider Sliders? We can catch up, talk a while"

>That smile again

>"Sure Anon, I'll put the stuff in the kitchen"

"Great, I'll just clean the living room real quick and we'll be good to go"

>Applejack let's out a small yet hearty chuckle

"What's so funny?"

>"Oh Anon, you're always cleanin' sumthin' "

>As Applejack enters your kitchen you get your Mp3 player back out and out the other ear bud in

>Turning it to shuffle brings you to your first song

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFgh6IpeK28

>Aww yeah, a nice mix to clean to

>As you were about to kick on the vacuum cleaner of gods Applejack wanders back into the living room

>"Hey Anon you want tuh-"

>Not hearing her because of your bad ass earbuds you turn the vacuum cleaner on anyway

>Not the best of ideas

>The only thing you see is an orange blur as Applejack races across the room

>In one fluid motion she stops on her front legs, twirls, and kicks out with her back legs at your precious vacuum

>Which proceeds to sail across the room

>Aim for the stars

>*KEESH*

>There goes your window

>You turn to Applejack

"What in the everloving fuck are you doing?"

>She's breathing heavy, like she's been in a fight or something

"Hello? What did you do taht for?"

>"Ah, ah thought It was a monster attackin' yah Anon"

>What?

>WHAT

"What? That's my vacuum cleaner, not a damn monster. Shit, it's probably broken now"

>"Cleaner? That that wudn't no cleaner ah seen"

>With the sigh of the mighty gods themselves you go out your back door to retrieve your fallen comrade

>It looks to be unharmed, despite a full force kick from Applejack

>Not so bad I guess

>But she's not going to get away with it

>Going back inside Applejack's still where you left her

>"Ah'm sorry Anon I just overreacted a-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it"

>Setting the vacuum cleaner behind her and plugging it in you find the right time to strike

>"Look, ah'l go get the pie and everythin' jus' wait here"

>She goes to leave but you put the nozzle of the vacuum on her tail and kick the vacuum on

>"AHHHHHHHHHH"

>FLOMP

>Applejack is stuck inside the vacuum up to her head, which is the only thing sticking out

>Quite comical really

"I forgot you p0nies don't have bones Applejack, here lemme help you"

>"Anon, whaddya doi-"

>Putting the nozzle on your now broken windowsill you click the switch on the handle from pulling in air

>To pushing it

>Picking up the vacuum with your left hand you turn it on

>Boom

>In a cloud of dust and dirt Applejack goes flying out of the window out into your backyard

>'AAAAAHhhhhhhhhhh- *thump*"

>Teach her to kick your shit

>Going back to the kitchen you grab a slice of pie and your Stalliongrad Silver for a good rest of the evening

 

Fin. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated

 

Bin here http://www.pastebin.com/u/Wolfkrone